The proverbial other shoe

[Carey]

Nothing is ever given a chance to level out.  Ever. This was the weekend from hell.  Friday was payday.  The medical practice I work for has been bought out by a large area hospital.  They didn't tell anyone that during the changeover we are considered new employees and they held a weeks' pay. No warning or notice at all. THEN ... Friday after work I check the mail and there are two notices from social security. Never good.  They have cut my social security $600 a month AND they want me to pay back almost $6000 they claim they over paid me because of Chad's daughter bouncing in and out and in and out again of high school and that takes place .. NOVEMBER.  My power bill isn't paid, and I just have no idea how to squeeze the turnip anymore.  I just effing give up.  Then yesterday morning, I get a text from my 24 year old son (he moved out 3 years ago and wont' talk to me).  He hasn't spoken to me in a LONG time. Yesterday's text at 8 a.m. was out of the blue, said "I F*cking hate you, stay out of my life. You will never see your grandchildren.  When you die I won't shed a single tear".  And NOTHING after that. I asked him what in the world was he talking about but he wouldn't respond.  I felt like I had been stabbed.  Then I had to drive to Fayetteville and back in the rain because I had to go to the cemetery. It was the only chance I'd have before Veteran's day and Chad had no flowers or anything at his grave. Its a veteran's cemetery, I just couldn't let his be undecorated. I took a bunch of extra flowers and laid some for others who didn't have anything, cleaned up some of those who did, picked up dead flowers, etc. for about 2 hours in the rain.  This is never ever going to get better.  November 23rd is his birthday and the 2 year mark and I feel WORSE  than I ever have. I'm a failure at providing for my kids, I'm a failure in my son's eyes, I can't do it. I just can't pull it together.  I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so flipping ANGRY at him for leaving me his this hellhole of a mess. How do I tell the kids, oh well the power will be off for 2 weeks?  you know, right at thanksgiving and "daddy's dying day" as they call it.  And I only see it getting worse because Katie will be 19 in June and will lose her SS.  And Jacob will be 17 next month, so we don't have that much longer to get our act together. They are looking for jobs but around here, the jobs that normally teens could have gotten, adults are working to make ends meet.  I just don't see anything being ok again. I want to just go be with Chad.

[Torn]

Carey,

  Bless you dear, I read through your words and feel it I'm my heart.

   

  A couple Bill ideas,

A lot of power companies offer partial payment & extensions for utilities check into that possibility.

  The message from your son should simply not have happened,it's nothing but damaging ,there's nothing good that could come from it at this point.

 

  Your 2 younger kids thinking of getting a job is a good thing,that shows good parenting please take that in an know your doing good.

  Point the job seekers toward holiday jobs,many retailers hire holiday help and tend to keep these employees on afterward.

 

  I wanna let you know I feel your pain,where Thanksgiving is concerned, I lost my wife and her birthday was Thanksgiving.

  Coming upon this my 2nd thanksgiving it's frustrating to know I most likely will not enjoy another thanksgiving & I honestly don't have it in my mind to fake it this year.

 

Please know we are all here to listen,learn & support.

  Bless you maam.

 

 

[luvmy2babies]

Are you saying they are both cutting your payment and requiring payment from you or are they cutting your amount to recoup the overpayment?  Neither is okay IMHO as you had nothing to do with this girl?s decisions and just how long is she going to be allowed to do this?  I think I?d be appealing that if at all possible.  Is there someone who might do a free consultation on this?

 

I just don?t see how they can cut your amount AND require you to pay them back?  That makes no sense.  When my husband was getting disability, there was occasion where they somehow overpaid him.  Not sure how; but whenever it happened, they cut his deposit until the amount was paid back.  Still wrong in my eyes considering it was their error; but they didn?t cut his amount and require separate payment from him to cover the loss.  That?s crazy.

 

I?m sorry about the text from your oldest.  That was just cruel and unusual.

 

 

[Carey]

Cutting AND repaying.  It's "only" going to be cut until the March 2016 check then she has to fall off no matter what.  The repaying is cause they claim they have been overpaying me since February. I spent my whole lunch hour there to no avail. I can appeal the overpayment, but they won't budge on the monthly reduction.  Suck it up buttercup.  Again.  They've done this to me once already.  I am FURIOUS with Chad today. Damn him for not being able to tell alcohol no, even to the point where he took a job 7000 miles away thinking it wasn't allowed in that country ... but he found a way anyway and it killed him. I try not to blame him, I try to remind myself alcoholism is a true disease.  But why why why could he have not needed me and his kids more than his next drink and told it no? He cast us into hell

[lcoxwell]

While I honestly have no great words of wisdom or any suggestions on how to deal with any of this, as much as I wish I had them, I did want you to know that I can empathize. I have been in similar shoes, and I know how much this has got to be hurting you, right now. Although there isn't much I can say or do, I just wanted you to know I am thinking of you and that I hope things will improve for you soon.(((Hugs)))

[Carey]

I ended up talking with someone else who figured out where a mistake was made in Utah at their SS office.  They've fixed the "overpayment", so at least I don't have that $6000 hanging over me but they are still going to cut it until she turns 19 or drops out of school. Shes 26 weeks pregnant. I can't see her staying in school but we'll see.  I'm trying to make a plan for thanksgiving week. I feel like if I don't I won't be strong enough to stay.  The weekend before I think I'm going to ride with a friend to Alabama to a crimson tide football game.  Ive already decided to eliminate my family from the drama before it even becomes an issue, so thanksgiving dinner will be me, my children, my roommate and her kid. Simple.  I HAVE to find a way to get through this month. I'm terrified.

 

Walked into work this morning to the news that one of my co-worker's husband had a massive heart attack last night and is not expected to live ...... I don't even like her very much but I wouldn't wish this on anyone. It's been quite the trigger for me this morning.

[Amor]

Wishing you peace beyond all understanding!

[canadiangirl]

Sending you my support.  It's all too much.  I'm glad you got the overpayment sorted- that would've been a huge stress.  You ARE doing a good job providing for your family.  I hope the month continues to improve for you and you have a peaceful Thanksgiving.

[Jen]

I wish I had more than (((((HUGS)))))... No one should have to deal with all that, no one. I'm so sorry.