The nest is getting a little emptier

[mikeeh]

I must be getting use to this life without her to some degree.  I don't really feel the angst or the need to come and vent or have a pressing issue to impose my insight on others over.

 

Now though it has all stoked up a little with more of those benchmark life events that she should be here for. 

 

Our son, our only child, has done some major growing up these last few weeks.  He has his first real job working at a movie theater.  He took his road test yesterday and got a perfect score so is now has his drivers license.  He is a good driver so I knew intellectually that he will do fine.  It is just hard because we here all know that bad things can happen and death isn't an abstract concept.  It is way too real.  It isn't so much his driving that I have to worry about as it is all the stupid drivers out there. 

 

Because I can, and because I want to do what I can for him we bought a car tonight so he has a license and a car.  Tonight after we picked up the car I followed him home.  He wanted to go to a store and so as I turned down our street he kept going.  The metaphorical implications of him driving away from me, just two red tail lights disappearing were pretty hard to take. 

 

She should be here.  She should see how good a driver he is.  She should have helped me make the decision about when and if we buy him a car.  She should see how proud he was to pass his road test without getting one point off.  She should be as proud of him as I am and as he is of himself. She should be here to share in my worry every time I think about him driving that car around on his own.

 

Sorry, just felt I had to share that with people who might understand.

Mike

[donswife]

thank you so much for sharing that

and yes she should be here

but glad you were able to have these memories with your son today

take care

[linda5]

Mikeeh, congrats to your son!  A perfect score on driving!  I still can't parallel park properly!! 

 

All these moments when we're so proud of our kids now has some sadness attached to it.  Why can't a happy day be just that anymore, a happy day?  Sounds like you've got a pretty good son ... you and your wife did a good job.  Now hold on to your hat because graduating from high school and going to college is right around the corner!

[Wheelerswife]

Hugs, Mike.  I hope you got him the better car.  I'm proud of you for persisting through all of this.  I know it hasn't been easy, but you shine as his dad.

 

Maureen

[Trying]

It's a big milestone when they get their license, I went through it with son #2 on my own and also bought him a car because I really needed him to have it to ease my schedule up.

 

She should be here to share the pride and the anxiety with you.

[trying2breathe]

I'm going through the very same thing, Mike.  My daughter passed her driving test on Monday, on Tuesday drove her own newly acquired car to school on her own.  I stood in the driveway in my pj's and slippers, and watched her pull out of the driveway and away.  Bittersweet, to be sure.   

 

He should be here for this.  And this exactly - "he should be as proud of her as I am and as she is of herself." 

[twistedmensa]

I've been trying to get my 19 year old daughter to get her license for over a year now. She doesn't even have her permit yet. She did try and take the written exam about 6 months ago, but failed it because she didn't bother studying the manual. I have to go to DMV today and I gave her several days warning, but she has put off looking over the manual until 6 am this morning. It's more important to her to socialize online with people she has never met. Now she's throwing attitude at me because I'm rushing her... :  "Mom...you know I've been up all night...I can't take a test, I'll fall asleep!"  Any excuse to avoid responsibility.

 

I would KILL to see her driving off in my old car...nothing bittersweet about it...lol.

 

 

[Abitlost]

I get it completely.

 

abl

[CJF]

I too totally understand what you are feeling.  I went thru it earlier this year.  I still watch out the window every time he pulls out of the driveway.  It's a mixture of pride, worry and sadness. 

 

[mizjsea]

II could have written this too. Since J has been gone, my youngest got her license. She is driving his car and every time I see her in it, it tugs at my heart. She is tall like him and it is strange, her there in the driver's seat instead of him.

 

And oldest son had started college in the city right at the time of J's diagnosis. My son is now doing a co-op, working and being a train commuter and my husband was so robbed of watching him achieve these milestones to adulthood. And I was so robbed of the phase of life I was really looking forward to, enjoying and doing things with more adult children (after all the years of hard work with younger ones). Death is such a cold hearted THIEF.

 

I hate hate hate hate that we are now only 3 quarters of what was such a comfortable and loving whole.

 

And Friday nights suck.

 

Thanks for letting me emote.

[lcoxwell]

You're right. She should have been there to see your son reaching this incredible milestone, and I am sorry that she cannot be there to share it with you. My children have gone through a few significant milestones in that last year, too, and I remember thinking the very same thing. He should be here for to see the amazing young adults that they have become. (((Hugs)))