Guest running with scissors Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 I have a picture of him on my desk, I cry every time I look. How is he gone? How? He looks so alive and looks right at me in the picture. I know he's dead but oh my God, How am I ever going to feel this is normal? It's not, he was real and he should be here but he's not and it breaks my heart. My heart has been broken now since he died over 5 years ago and I am so broken and unhappy. I have been trying, for 5 years to deal with this and nothing is helping me, I will never be the same. I miss him so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest running with scissors Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 You know, it seems all I do on this site is cry and moan how much I miss my husband. I apologize I just feel so alone and it hurts. I have no family and a child who fights with me daily. Well, he's not a child, he's a young adult who should be on his own. The stress and the unhappiness is taking its toll on me. So anyway, I am sorry for always coming here complaining.. I have to vent someplace to keep what sanity I may have left. I am thankful that this site is here, it is my only release. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 Don't apologize for venting here, this is our safe place where people get it. I honestly don't know where I would be without all of you. I'm not good about sharing with friends and family in my real life because I either get pity or lack of understanding. I'm only at 2 years out and I can't imagine getting over missing him, ever. I can go about my busy day, pretty much accepting the reality of my new life and then something triggers a memory or something happens I want to share with him and it hits me. For me, it's worse when something is going on with our kids, a difficult time or some proud parent moment. When I stop and think of all he is is missing I can be overcome with sadness. I hope the days when his picture brings a smile to your face start to out number the times it brings tears. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoVerySad Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 RWS, Please don't feel the need to apologize. I still miss my husband terribly as well and cry a lot. Despite progress I've made in other ways, the missing being with him hasn't gotten any easier. I'm working hard to move forward with this new life, but I fear my heart may always be this broken. So please know I empathize with you. Sending you love and tight hugs... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donswife Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 I am just over a year from losing my don and I still can't believe it I have lots of pictures around of him and they make me smile but... the second I really think hes not coming back, its like a tornado in the pit of my stomach pulling me down I still feel very married despite what the world thinks , I will always be his wife just wish it was easier for all of us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quixote Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 Don't apologize for dumping, that's a large part of what this place is for (at least I hope so, cause I do a lot of it, too) I hear you so loud and clear. Four years here, and I'm just now starting to function at old levels of attention and energy. But I still have the pictures, and I still cry for here at night when I'm alone. Hell, still talk to her. Sometimes even when there's other people around :? I don't think there's such a thing as moving on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linda5 Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 RWS, I'm 2 1/2 years out and there are days where I don't think I can go on. I just never know what's going to set me off. I got a raise at work, was proud and excited for about 2 minutes. Then went back to my desk and started to pick up my phone to tell my husband ... then put the phone back down. I could have told my children, but they would decide what to spend it on! It hurts and I believe there will always be a part of me that will never heal. Please come here and vent whenever you need to. As you said, it's our only outlet and others just don't understand. Wishing you a better future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twistedmensa Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 I have no family and a child who fights with me daily. Well, he's not a child, he's a young adult who should be on his own. The stress and the unhappiness is taking its toll on me. I totally get this. I fight almost daily with my adult (19) child. She refuses to do anything to improve her situation. She won't get a job, she won't go to school, she won't even go to counseling. She has an excuse for everything and I am beginning to run out of patience and sympathy. If you ever need to vent about your son, I can absolutely give you a sympathetic ear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest running with scissors Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Thank you to everyone here who posted.. It means so much to me that I feel understood. This is such a hard road to travel alone. Having people here who get it helps so much, Thank you again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MauiMermaid Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 (((Hugs to you))), we all get it. That is what we're here for... we are people who can listen and truly understand you. I still cry every single day. Approaching 3 years in just about a month now. I look at his picture and I can't figure out what is more surreal - that he lived or that he died. It's almost like I just dreamed his life up. I miss him so very much. :'( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shawn823 Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Approaching 3 years in just about a month now. I look at his picture and I can't figure out what is more surreal - that he lived or that he died. It's almost like I just dreamed his life up. I miss him so very much. ^^^^^^^^^^This---to a T Hugs to all. (Glad to see you MM) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MauiMermaid Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 ^^^^^^^^^^This---to a T Hugs to all. (Glad to see you MM) Thank you, Shawn823. ((hugs to you)) xoxo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ieh21 Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 Dont worry about venting here. It's hard to move forward. If ot helps you to talk to us, that's a small step... Hugs to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest running with scissors Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 Thanks everyone, It's all very appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torn Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 running with scissors, Your loss is enormous,just like everyone else's on this board. I'm a year and a half into my journey of loss. Obviously everyone is different,but me personally,I couldn't see a photo of my late wife daily it would be crushing to me. Take care Never apologize,this process is tough & very difficult. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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