Trying to stand

[Carey]

This week is really kicking my butt.  Monday being the actual sadiversary I expected to be worse than it was.  I think that is because the hell didn't start for me till the 24th, which is when we found out that he had died.  Facebook/timehop has really had me in a bad place, although I kept telling myself to stop reading it, the pull was strong.  Almost like a NEED to relive it even if I didn't want to.  The tumor has shrunk some, and while that is a VERY good thing, it has become dislodged from where it was and is now affecting a different part of my brain and triggering nocturnal seizures.  I've been staying at my friends' house because my bed and house aren't safe for something like that.  Anyway, my friend said he witnessed one of those seizures early this morning while I was still asleep so my head is pounding and tingling and I had to come to work anyway.  Someone on my other thread mentioned literally taking these days one second or minute at a time, so that's what I'm trying to do.  I still have to get through a lonely thanksgiving tomorrow with just me and my kids and then my wedding anniversary is Monday, would have been 19 years.  I was a little befuddled why year 2 seems worse than year 1 was ... I chalk it up to still being a little numb last year and medical issues compounding this year.  but I'm just completely strung out. Not sleeping well, not coping well ... making me grumpy on top of everything.  I just want to say I'm glad ya'll are here because I need you very much right now

[Trying]

I'm so glad to hear the tumor is shrinking and hope this latest symptom goes away quickly. What about something like a comedy movie marathon or good old fashioned board games to bring some lightness into your lonely holiday? I know with my kids I would have to have something like that going on or everyone would hole up in their seperate rooms.

 

Wishing you peace and loads of distractions as you face Thanksgiving and your anniversary.

[Jen]

Gigantic HUGS. I wish I had more... thinking of you, sweetie.

[Amor]

I agree year too is like coming off of a versed and morphine.  Now everything hurts and your brain starts to work to remember things again.  Numbness is leaving and your standing which seems impossible due to your injuries but some how you are still here.  At least that is how I am feeling at the moment. 

Wishing you peace and comfort during this extremely difficult time. 

Amor

((Carey))

[SoVerySad]

Tight hugs to you, Carey. I found year 2 much harder than year one, so please know you aren't alone. I can attest as well that medical issues on top of grief make everything so, so much harder. I'm sending you love and understanding.

 

More hugs...

[lcoxwell]

I know I have said this a number of times, but I am going to say it again, anyway. I truly wish I had the right words of encouragement, or that I could magically make things better. Sadly, I just have nothing. I did want you to know, though, that I am thinking of you. (((Hugs)))