Guest TooSoon Posted April 4, 2016 Share Posted April 4, 2016 I've been crying for the past 12 hours though I've been crying silently for the past 48 (which meant that instead of crying I acted like a complete lunatic). My eyes are so red and raw and I am on west coast time and have no clue how I am going to function at work tomorrow. Adp was here in PA with us for 4 days and it was so nice. Then we went to Portland, OR for work. We're both pretty work-oriented as academic life and our social lives and our sense of who we are are very blurred - it is all interconnected. Anyway, I naively thought that since blending our families went so well that it would be easy to do it with our professional lives but that was not to be so. But more importantly, I just can't keep saying goodbye. Every time I have to do it, it nearly crushes me. With each goodbye, I get worse at it. I woke this morning knowing that after our nine hours on the plane I would leave him to go to baggage claim and he'd go on to his gate to go home. I'm so broken by all of the goodbyes. I'm so worn out from all of the goodbyes even though I know we're always going to be ok and one day we'll find our path - maybe soon even. But the last 48 hours have just cut through me. I've never been a needy person - perhaps to my own detriment sometimes - but god I love this man and letting him go again was more than I could manage on top of the weirdness with negotiating the work thing. This probably makes little to no sense to anyone here but I am on west coast time, have to work tomorrow and need to get some of it out so that I might sleep. Not asking for someone to offer infinite wisdom here but my heart hurts and I am so tired. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoVerySad Posted April 4, 2016 Share Posted April 4, 2016 I am so sorry, my sweet friend. I wish I could magically fix things for you. It hurts my heart that yours is hurting so much. I'm sending you tight hugs and much love. I am going to be up for a while tonight, so if you just need a listening ear, feel free to give me a call. Doesn't matter how late. My body has gone on a nighttime sleep strike as of late. More love and hugs... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captains wife Posted April 4, 2016 Share Posted April 4, 2016 Sorry TooSoon - I would also find the goodbyes really difficult - and loving someone and wanting to be with them more doesn't make you needy. I hope the week gets better for you. Long distance relationship are really tough : ( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsDan Posted April 4, 2016 Share Posted April 4, 2016 Dan and I did long distance twice, and it sucked. It's also just hard being in a transitional state, a kind of purgatory. I'm sure that does not help. When things that are difficult emotionally are a regular occurrence, it becomes so tiresome, on top of being painful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mizpah Posted April 4, 2016 Share Posted April 4, 2016 Long distance sucks. Period. And as for never having been needy: me either. Then suddenly I was. But really, I think "needy" is a bull$h!t word, just used to ridicule a completely natural, healthy, happy-seeking impulse to be close to the people we love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarbell Posted April 4, 2016 Share Posted April 4, 2016 Oh man I am sorry TS! That's tough...you are smart..you've been seeing each other for quite a while-I say you follow your heart! (And you know I rarely say that to people..but you guys I have a good feeling about) Just my 2 cents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted April 4, 2016 Share Posted April 4, 2016 Of course it's hard and gut wrenching, you have a living breathing man you love that you are separated from, repeatedly. I am rooting for a solution for you both in the very near future. Everyone here knows all too well that life can be short and happiness needs to be savored. Big hugs to you, keep your eye on the prize! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jess Posted April 4, 2016 Share Posted April 4, 2016 I call those those the unbearable "little goodbyes", which feel so unfair when you have already dealt with one big goodbye. It just gets harder as time goes by and my patience with having a LDR wears out. We have two weeks together and are partway through week 2. Already, I feel myself getting sad to say bye on Saturday. So sick of it. So I just wanted to say that I get the rant. I live that rant. And I hate it, too. I know I have a planned end game to stop the insanity that is rapidly approaching and that helps a bit. I do honestly feel like you both will get this figured out soon, too. It's time for it to come together for you guys. Until then- solidarity, friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TooSoon Posted April 6, 2016 Share Posted April 6, 2016 Thanks for all of your support, everyone. Andy and I have been very cautious but also deliberate in pursuing options. It was the right thing for us but I'm super over it now and it is high time we find resolution so we can be together as a family. The goodbyes are simply too excruciating, as are the long stretches in between. Honestly, I would not trade for anything but never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined three years ago that this is how things would unfold. Life is weird but also wonderful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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