Foregiveness and Chapter 2

[Captains wife]

I had a very rough end to my Chapter 2 at the end of Jan. and felt very heart broken. While we cared for each other a lot and had great chemistry, a number of things weren't aligning (including his bachelor life and my single mother life). But the way it ended was very hurtful and made me see him in a very different light (although I was not completely blameless, given a number of my passive aggressive moves). At first, I was heart broken, went through the withdrawal and then he popped back in my life by texting me about a month later with apologies and that he missed me. I very clearly told him that I needed time and space and to please not get back in contact again. He was respectful of that until June/July (4-5 months later) when he started texting me and asked if we could meet to talk (I told him that I didn't want to do that). I took some time off dating, kept away from him (no contact including not looking at his Match profile!) dated someone else for 3 months (then I broke up with him early as I wasn't happy) and recently have only been passively dating - and suddenly feel very happy on my own (with my son now). But, of course, I then ran into my ex unexpectedly in the city 2 weeks ago - at first it felt weird, and I felt a little jittery, but we had a nice but short conversation. He asked if we could go for a drink and I told him Id think about it (but then never got back to him). Then this morning I unexpectedly ran into him again (on my way to work) and we ended up walking together and talking. The best part of it was that I didn't feel upset, didn't pine for him, didn't feel anger or sadness anymore - we had a nice conversation, got caught up with each others lives and I agreed to have a drink with him in 2 weeks. I have zero plans for getting back together with him but I am so happy to be in this good place after such heartache and it was very nice to hear how sorry he was and how he acknowledged what an a** he was at the end and he explained why he acted that way. That was good to hear - and I do forgive him, am very happy to be past that "missing him" stage and so happy that we can chat like friends and remember the good times we had (and there were plenty of those too). It feels nice to be in this space finally. PS - and to be honest he doesn't look as good to me as he used to which is interesting. I hope this gives others encouragement who are/ have been going through break ups with Chapter 2.

[SemperFidelis]

Yes, definitely an encouraging post. I am not going through a breakup, but it felt like a distinct possibility the other night. I'm happy for you in the place you reached....what a beautiful thing.

[Taurus]

...it feels nice to be in this space finally. PS - and to be honest he doesn't look as good to me as he used to which is interesting. I hope this gives others encouragement who are/ have been going through break ups with Chapter 2.

 

Good for you. Make sure he respects that you have moved on from him, that he does not misread your friendliness as anything more than being civil and sociable.

[Captains wife]

We had drinks this week and we are clearly in the not dating again zone (although I wouldn't say friends either). But we had a very nice time.  I wasn't planning on seeing or talking to this person ever again and now I feel like I have closure. Admittedly it also felt good to hear how I have been missed, that he still felt sad it was over (8 months later).  Neither of us have dated anyone seriously since we broke up and we still miss each other - but I know for certain reasons we weren't a good match and I'm more certain what I am looking for now. Took me a while to realize that after we broke up but hindsight is a great thing.

[Mizpah]

Glad he gave you the little ego boost you deserve, and that you're not backsliding.  Sounds positive!

[Guest Justme2]

Forgive but to him him it may mean a future open door (and more). Most guys see it as that.

Hoping you can stay in your comfort level.