Guest TooSoon Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 This summer, I hired a student to do some work in my house to help her get enough money to get to Paris. Every time I was going to be away, I gave her a specific task to do. Last week, I went to England and I asked my student, on this final summer trip, to clean the powder room attached to my bedroom. I told her it was awful and needed lots of bleach and scrubbing. I asked her to do her best. I knew it had to be done because soon we will have adp and his daughter here with us and logistically we will need to use it. I knew it was time that I had to face it. Isn't that ridiculous?! That bathroom was the locus of some of the worst things I have ever seen in my life. Memories I will never shake. I have not showered there in at least 5 years. I haven't opened the door in at least 4 years. I could not clean it myself; it was just too hard. I pretended it wasn't there. But she cleaned it while I was gone. And today I moved all of my (meager) cosmetic and showering things into that powder room and I took a shower in there. I actually took a shower in there and it was ok. It seems so stupid but it was a huge deal for me. I conquered the master bath. I'm both proud of myself and also a little sad for reasons that can't be explained. But I did it. Weird. There is nowhere I can say this but here. Thank you for listening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kater Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Congrats. Doesn't sound stupid at all to me. i think we all get how difficult and significant it is to conquer whatever our "things" are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrskro Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 TooSoon! Congrats. I get it, it doesn't sound stupid at all. I couldn't use mine at all, my DH died in it. I had to gut the whole thing. I think its a huge thing for all of us to conquer those "things" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimiRed Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 Not stupid at all! So proud of you for taking that big huge step in a direction that helps you overcome lots of thoughts and feelings! Hugs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shelby Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 This is huge! I had a hard time going to Sam's Club; I can't imagine having a room with so much significance in my home. You are brave and strong! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twin_mom Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 This is exactly the kind of thing that we understand that the rest of the world probably doesn't.... Congratulations on your shower and getting past yet another bump in the road. *Hugs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tybec Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 Great job, Toosoon! Pat on the back and atta girl. Get it so much. My DH died on a parkway we all use in this city to travel south to anywhere, shopping, Florida, the Interstate, etc. It is also the route to the Army Post where he worked so thousands travel to work there daily. I asked for no markers, did not go there at all to the site. I was driving that road for work weekly and knew I had to do it, and I did but cried for months. I have had folks tell me they wouldn't drive it for over year, taking back roads to get to the Interstate. I so get it, and others reactions surprised me, but this stuff is powerful. To have multiple things in a space in your home happen is just so difficult. Hugs and good job! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lmsmdm Posted August 26, 2016 Share Posted August 26, 2016 Yes I believe more of us get it than not. Congrats!! You did it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 ((((((HUGS)))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julester3 Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Hugs! We all have things we are not ready to face and we eventually need to do so in our own time. My husband died at his tennis club. Our daughter currently plays there and yet, though I can drop her off, I cannot go through the doors. I want to be able to but I just can't yet. I get anxiety attacks and I don't want to upset other people at the club. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AprilRain Posted August 31, 2016 Share Posted August 31, 2016 TooSoon, I understand completely and I'm right there with you. My husband died in the master bedroom and I haven't slept in there or used the master bath since, I use the guest room. I was at my exercise class when he died, and I know the exact spot I was at when it happened because I got inexplicably dizzy for a moment and then it passed. For the longest time I avoided being in that particular spot but one day it was the only spot available so I fought my way through it. I still try to avoid it but I'm not afraid of it anymore. Baby steps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoVerySad Posted August 31, 2016 Share Posted August 31, 2016 Yes, I understand what an accomplishment it is. I'm glad you've managed to move another step forward. Love and hugs... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imissdow Posted September 5, 2016 Share Posted September 5, 2016 Good for you! I have avoided lots of things and usally the stress of avoiding was more then just getting out there and doing it. Last year I finally went back to Washington DC. A place with lots of memories, and a frequent vacation spot for us. We ended up having a blast but it wasn't without its difficulties. You took a huge step. Good for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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