beth_krkswidow Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 I didn't think it would be easy, but his birthday today was horrible. BAd bad bad bad day. I can't stop crying. Sat by his grave in the rain. Much worse than Christmas. AS LeahRoot said in a recent post, my brain knows he's not coming back but my heart can't accept that. I hate this, I hate this life without him and I hate everybody telling me how strong I am and how well I'm doing. And it annoys me that 4 people called me to comfort me, knowing it would be a bad day.....but not one of them mentioned his name once. THey all called because it was his birthday, but no one said his name. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheelerswife Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Today is my second husband's birthday, too. I spent most of my day staring into space. I hope tomorrow will be a better day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeahRoot84 Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Sometimes life is so unfair with its curve balls it throws at us. You are never alone. Hugs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mbanyard Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 Not my DH birthday, but today is the 6th month mark, so I also had a tough day. I'm there with you ladies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sojourner Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 Hearing you. LH's birthday is Friday; third one since he died. Neither myself nor my kids ever received any text, call, email, card or contact of any kind acknowledging any date at all (birthday, death day, anniversary of any kind, holidays without him) from anyone at all since he died. As a matter of fact, after traveling to see LH's family for our first Christmas after his death, one of his sisters' husband launched into a spiel about what a good year it had been! :'( It wasn't until I stood up and just blindly walked out of the room that he caught himself and lamely added that, well, we did lose a "family member." (But other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beth_krkswidow Posted January 24, 2017 Author Share Posted January 24, 2017 Wow, sojourner, that's terrible. Unbelievable. At least my family cares. My phone, which I hardly ever carry at work because, well, why? He was the only one who called all the time. I can go days and days with no alerts on my phone. But for some reason I had my phone in my pocket at work on his birthday and it vibrated. It thought, What the? Who the would be texting me now? Well, it was my sister and the text just said, "sending love and special prayers today.". So my family does care. I am so very thankful for that. I am so sorry that your husband's family is.. was... wow. I just can't put it into words. ... 'a family member'. hugs to all of you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sojourner Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 Well, LH didn't think so much of some of his family, himself. Over our years together, on the occasions where something jerky would be said by one of them, his comment to me was always "Ignore them; they're assholes!" But with a number of other friends & family, even a couple people in his family, I think there is some genuine caring. Just no idea if or what to say, so they stay silent. And not so long ago, I was oblivious myself -before I got schooled the hard way- and I likely said or did stuff myself that was inept. So, I generally try to be understanding. Except for crap like that Christmas fiasco!!! Sometimes I think if there isn't a greeting card for any particular anniversary or milestone, people just don't think it should be acknowledged or might be appreciated if it were. And I've never seen a card for a death anniversary, birthday after passing, sorry you couldn't stay in your house and had to move, etc.!! Peace to you and to us all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beth_krkswidow Posted January 24, 2017 Author Share Posted January 24, 2017 Hmmm.... greeting card companies should take note. Pretty sure morbid humor would be quite lucrative. I wanted to put a black balloon on my Honey's tombstone on his birthday, but didn't find one. Cuz, you know it was NOT a Happy Birthday. People I told that to, thought I was horrible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sojourner Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 Some people might think it was morbid, but I adapted a black ornament with LH's name on it for my tree for his first Christmas gone. I did decide to put it on the back side of the tree to prevent anyone wanting to say anything judge-y about it, tho. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrypticKat Posted February 6, 2017 Share Posted February 6, 2017 I think a lot of people struggle with widow humor. We just have a much clearer understanding of death and yeah it's dark. We spend so much time in pain if we don't laugh and let some of that energy out we might explode. Hmmm.... greeting card companies should take note. Pretty sure morbid humor would be quite lucrative. I wanted to put a black balloon on my Honey's tombstone on his birthday, but didn't find one. Cuz, you know it was NOT a Happy Birthday. People I told that to, thought I was horrible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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