Needytoo Posted February 8, 2017 Share Posted February 8, 2017 In one month it will be four years my husband has left us. During this time I have grieved, learned to open up, let go of anger and accept, enjoy life and develop new friendships. Then to go through anger again and let go of the friendship. I don’t remember having periods of such anger before becoming a widow. It sure sucks the life out of you. So back into therapy and I think it is helping this time. Last night I thought I would watch some comedy, so I put on Rosie O’Donnell’s special that was on Netflix. I was enjoying and laughing and then she started to talk about her Widow Maker Heart Attack. I started to cry and couldn’t stop. This morning I still feel very drained. Today I get my results of my breast biopsy, and I am feeling lonely. That part of comfort I use to have is gone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted February 8, 2017 Share Posted February 8, 2017 Sending you hugs and praying for good news today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrskro Posted February 8, 2017 Share Posted February 8, 2017 Needytoo Hugs to you as you wait for your result. You aren't alone, we are here for you. Praying for good results! The anger gets to me too, I find I have less patience for the BS little things in life anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sojourner Posted February 8, 2017 Share Posted February 8, 2017 There's alot of stuff that takes so much more effort to slog thru after being widdowed. Oddly, some things I've gotten more patient with, but there's other stuff with which I now have absolutely zip-zero-zilch patience. Coping with health and medical conditions was hard enough before, and extra tough now, especially if a person is the sole surviving parent, imo. Praying for good results, and peace and comfort for you while you wait to hear! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bunny Posted February 8, 2017 Share Posted February 8, 2017 Man, those unexpected grief curveballs can be such a bitch; one minute you're feeling fine and dandy, then the next you're sobbing 'til you can't breath. I'm grateful they don't leave as much of a 'hangover' now as they used to. As for the anger issues- I can certainly relate also! I consider it ironic that widowhood has unleashed so much fury in my heart since that was really the only issue in my marriage that brought me unhappiness- dh's horrid temper. I'm thankful it's been slowly burning down to more manageable levels over this past year. Let us know how your doctor visit goes, please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Needytoo Posted February 8, 2017 Author Share Posted February 8, 2017 Thank you, everyone, for all your replies. The biopsy was negative, very relieved. Tomorrow, I am seeing a new therapist for cognitive behavioral therapy. Hopefully, I find this therapy helpful. I don't want to be someone who doesn't feel, but this deep anger stuff needs to stop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sojourner Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 Woo-hoo on the test results! Hopes for a successful plan of action with your new therapist! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forgottenwife Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 So glad your biopsy came back with good results! That is so stressful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quixote Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 Awesome news! Huh-- I always thought the anger was more of a guy thing. You know: "Women cry, men curse". Guess some things are universal to the human condition. For me, I worked through it mostly with time and realizing that sometimes I just needed to not be around people. If my tolerance was low, it was better for friendships if I just had alone time instead. Exercise helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Needytoo Posted February 9, 2017 Author Share Posted February 9, 2017 Oh no Quixote, anger can definitely be a woman issue as well. Sometimes we don't voice our anger we just feel it in ever cell in our body and it sucks dry. Saw the therapist today, she doesn't think I have an anger issue. Well, it was worth a try. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quixote Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 I dunno. I mean, your counselor is working directly with you but-- if you feel angry and that distresses you, I'd call it an issue regardless of whether you have reason to be angry. You need to process that emotion somehow, imho Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donswife Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Great news about the biopsy results but still a rough time waiting for the results Oh yes I get the anger issues , You should hear the swearing in my car over the dumbest things that is when I check myself and say ..yup someone needs to work on her anger issue I am trying to figure out an outlet for it, before it goes inward take care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadiangirl Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Glad to hear about the negative biopsy results! Hear you on the anger, as I am still 0-60 in 3 seconds 3 years out. If your therapist doesn't believe you, get another therapist - that is a strange lack of validation, you know you best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Needytoo Posted February 11, 2017 Author Share Posted February 11, 2017 I have gone so many therapists in the last four years. Maybe I just don't appear upset enough? Most of my anger is towards a guy I hired to do some work around the house. He was recommended by a friend and his work was horrible. I am suing him, but I have what I call "Dexter thoughts", and just like you canadagirl it goes from 0-60 in 3 seconds. I am tired of it, consuming my thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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