Trying Posted February 8, 2017 Share Posted February 8, 2017 Tim would have been 49 today. I'm having an especially hard time today for some reason. I don't cry very often any more but today I started at 4:00 am and haven't been able to stop, I forgot how exhausting it is to cry like this. As I sit here typing this there is a cardinal outside my window, I've been asking him for a sign all morning and he still comes through for me. I can't help but think how much has changed since the last time he celebrated a birthday, we were still 3 months away from his cancer diagnosis and having cake during a blizzard. We were blissfully ignorant of what was to come and didn't know we should be celebrating with more intention. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sojourner Posted February 8, 2017 Share Posted February 8, 2017 I think back also to "...that time of blissful ignorance..." in my own life, and can relate to your feelings, and why today is especially hard for you. :'( Hugs to you, and wishing you peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheelerswife Posted February 8, 2017 Share Posted February 8, 2017 Hugs, Donna. Sometimes, the hard part of losing a spouse is knowing that they didn't get to live the rest of the life they deserved to have. Maureen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abitlost Posted February 8, 2017 Share Posted February 8, 2017 I get it. Wishing you peace as you get through this tough day, abl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadiangirl Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Hugs. I love the cardinal sign. Hope you got through the day okay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TooSoon Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Sending love. I went through this last week. He died two days after his 50th birthday and that day in between gets me every time. xo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted February 10, 2017 Author Share Posted February 10, 2017 Right before sons # 2 & 3 and I were going to go out to dinner to celebrate Tim's birthday son #2 (18) long time girlfriend decided to break up with him over the phone. Needless to say we didn't go any where and he is a wreck. I tend to have some sort of sense that something bad is coming which I think explains why I was having such an emotional day. The only positive I can find in this is that he asked to see a therapist, something he strongly refused to do for 3 1/2 years. She is a great girl with a good head on her shoulders so I don't doubt she had her reasons for the break up but the timing really couldn't have been worse. I miss the days when you could just kiss the boo boos away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MauiMermaid Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Big hugs to you. I understand. "We were blissfully ignorant of what was to come and didn't know we should be celebrating with more intention." SO understand that. xoxoxo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 My heart goes out to you... I understand the pain. There are so many triggers that can cause us to tear up. I wish you inner strength and peace to go through the day. God bless your heart. Sending my love... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladybug Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Birthdays and other special days are always the hardest for me too. Sending you good vibes to get through the month. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trying2breathe Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Times like these when memories come crashing in, the tears flow easily and even though time has softened the pain we still grieve. Hope for more peaceful days ahead for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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