Needytoo Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 Subject line sure sounds horrible doesn't it. lol My sons are know 20 and 16 years old. They don't do much to help me around the house. My eldest does minimal but my youngest does basically nothing. The high school teachers are on strike but my youngest still does nothing but lie around in his underwear playing X-box. Now I do know they can actually move they are both extremely athletic (when not at home). They both go to they gym and play football and soccer. I have talked to other Moms and I know I am not the only one out there with this problem. When they were younger we did lots of things together, now not so much. I have tried to make plans to do things with them. Either they don't get out of bed or they change their minds the last minute. I get it, they don't want to hang around with me and I am ok with that. I just hate being stood up over and over again. During grieving and recovery I have been working on not being an enabler. I do struggle with this but I know I cannot keep doing everything for them. I have heard a few times them say that I just don't care. I keep my cool and make them figure out things on their own. Gee it does sound horrible doesn't it. Mother's Day is tomorrow and since I don't expect that I will be getting breakfast in bed I reserved a spot for brunch. I am a little worried that they will not get out of bed and here is the thing I have two other widow friends with children that aren't doing anything for them and they would love to go to brunch. What would you do if your kids don't get out of bed? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kealoha Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 I think you deserve to enjoy yourself! And from the sound of it your friends will be much better company than your sons for brunch. All consistent with making them figure things out on their own. Keep your chin up mama, I know I was not the easiest teen and I so appreciate my parents now that I am one. Happy Mother's Day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swilson Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 I would ask the boys if they would like to go and if they didn't get out of bed, go anyway. You and your friends can have some girl time for a little while, btw Happy Mother's Day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarbell Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 You go.:.leave them in bed!!!! I have a double away baseball game on MD....so my kids will be up...but it will just be another day to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobFTC Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 I set up dinner with my teens awhile ago. We talked about trying a new place and set the time. When the time came, they were not to be found. One had gone up to get dressed 45 minutes before. The other was in the bathroom, getting ready. I decided I was not interested in chasing them down. I did text them that they had 10 minutes, since texting is such a thing. One daughter got the text but decided that any kind of response was too much like work or something. The other did not see it. I waited 15 minutes and then went by myself, and then had one of our dreaded family meetings when I got home. It's not OK to not follow through on plans, or to not communicate when you are running late. But dinner alone wasn't much fun, either. Next time, I may try this with something they really like and want, like sushi, and decline to take them out for it for awhile if they blow it. Take care, Rob T Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
serpico Posted May 10, 2015 Share Posted May 10, 2015 What would you do if your kids don't get out of bed? I would give them either a literal or figurative kick in the ass. No one can take advantage of you without your permission. Right now, it sounds like you're giving them permission. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShineOn Posted May 10, 2015 Share Posted May 10, 2015 Agree with the others. Ask once, wait a few minutes, then go and have fun with your friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Needytoo Posted May 10, 2015 Author Share Posted May 10, 2015 They got out of bed. Truly amazed just with that. The brunch was being held at a golf course that am taking lessons at. First opening of the season and they were a little disorganized. Lots of complaints from my kids but at least my eldest thanked me, just a grunt from the youngest. Can 16 year old males get PMS? Next year might just have brunch with other Moms and maybe a game of golf. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max2507 Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 My son is 17 1/2, it's better now but 14-16 boys have lots of hormones, its a lot like pms. My daughter was never as hormonal acting as he was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairlanegirl Posted May 12, 2015 Share Posted May 12, 2015 Can 16 year old males get PMS? Next year might just have brunch with other Moms and maybe a game of golf. My Mum once commented 'Some men act menopausal their whole lives' so I hope yours grow out of the inconsiderate can't-be-arsed-ness! I can't talk, because I have two young girls, not teens, but I'm inclined to agree with Serpico, though how you go about it if they are not used to it, I don't know. Go off with your friends. I'm sure your boys go off with their mates all the time. Stuff 'em, frankly. I was never very good at being the skivvy, I'm afraid.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now