mikeeh Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 So my son, our son, turned 16 yesterday. The day after mothers day. What a terrible thing to hit such a landmark birthday without his Mother. What is worse for me, but maybe better for him, is I don't even think he realizes what he has lost or what he is missing by not having his Mom here for such a significant birthday. I can only try to remember and think about how happy and excited she would be to be here for her son's 16th birthday. It has been so long, gone for almost 2 years and so sick for years before that. It has probably been close to 6 years since the happy, loving, nurturing mother was a part of his life to shower him with love and be the emotional foundation and rock solid support for him and the whole family. Over a third of his life and I doubt if he even remembers what it was like to have a Mom that would hold him and hug him. The mom that would sit with him in a chair when he didn't feel good under a blanket and he could just curl up against her and feel better just being close to her. I know what he is missing though. I can picture what it would be like if she were here and healthy. How proud and happy she would be to see her little boy growing up to be a man. A man getting his permit soon. He wanted his mom to teach him to drive. I guess he was afraid of me being too impatient. I guess he has no choice now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 This is very sad. These times are heartwrenching. We're here to lend some understanding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoVerySad Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 I'm sorry, Mikeeh. It is heartbreaking what our kids are missing and for us to know how richly their other parent being here would be impacting their lives. My kids are 15 & 16. I wish their dad could teach them to drive. He actually taught me when we were first dating. He was so good at it, along with so many other things I pale in comparison to. Sending you tight, tight hugs of understanding... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadiangirl Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 I know what he is missing though. I can picture what it would be like if she were here and healthy. How proud and happy she would be to see her little boy growing up to be a man. A man getting his permit soon. He wanted his mom to teach him to drive. Mikeeh, thank you for writing such a beautiful and poignant post about your wife. My child has no memory of a healthy and happy father either...but I know what is being missed as well. My husband was a huge car and driving fanatic and I know it was especially gutting for him to know he would not live to teach his child to drive. Your post really touched me. Sending you my very best. I am sorry too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 Milestones are so bittersweet. My oldest daughter is celebrating her 16th birthday this weekend. Her birthday is the 22nd. My husband was looking forward to teaching all of our daughters how to drive. He was just working with our youngest teaching her how to tie her shoes and ride her bike. He taught our other two daughters. It was a 'dad' thing. A dad thing my youngest is missing out on. It's very sad and overwhelming to think of all of the milestones they will miss. ((hugs)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carey Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 I well remember that. My son turned 16 the day before thanksgiving this year. His 15th birthday was the day we found out his dad was dead. He's always said his birthday didn't matter or always got ruined or something. I have an added layer to these milestones in that they make me incredibly angry at the injustice of my kids having to have all their best teenage memories tainted by death. It's everywhere. The elephant in the room that everyone tries not to speak of, even now at 18 months. Boys have a special bond with their mamas. I'm sure he remembers more about being held by her than he will say. That age, they try to be "tough". I know mine tries to be the man of the house. But they have their tender moments when they are mamas boys. He remembers. all I can do is commiserate and say that it sucks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 I get it. My daughter turned 16 two weeks after her mother died in July 2014. We had a small family party and tried to make the best of it (many thanks to my wife's mother for this, as I was no shape). (My wife did get to see DD drive some, as we would let her practice is a rural industrial park after hours before she got her permit.) The day that she did pass her permit test, I let her drive some and when she parked at home she immediately had a panic attack. The stress, relief, and grief hit her hard as she thought about how proud Mom would be of her. We purchased a car for her back in December, and again it really brought forth the feelings of "I wish Mom were here to see this". Tomorrow is the road test for her license, and I expect it will be an emotional day as well. We are planning on doing some travel during her birthday this year. We have talked, and even though DD never made a big deal of her own birthday, her mom always did. DD said she is really going to miss that and would rather not even be home for it this year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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