sad anniversary

[Amor]

What did you do or are planning for your sad anniversary?  What helped and what did not help?  Who did you invite?  Was that the right people to invite? 

[Lisa]

The 1st year ip I  had a Mass and brunch. The 2nd breakfast with my parents and Mass.  It was a week day. Then we moved to having a meal at a favorite place of his. I find for us it is good to have a plan but not too extragavant, no plan is a disaster. Anything too involved with other people or specific doesnt work. I have to consult with his kids. They arent up for much. #6 is coming up in a few weeks. We havent decided yet.

[keeptrying]

When you say sad anniversary, is it your wedding anniversary? The day your spouse died?  Just had our wedding anniversary without him. Every year he sings to me, it is a tradition. I never know what it is going to be. - I thought I could forget and not think about that day. I decided to get out of the house and not wait for him.. although I wish he would walk through the door. A song came on the radio he liked, and that was the trigger. I almost got into an accident, pulled over, screamed at the top of my lungs and pulled my hair out for a while before I got out of the car and started to throw up. Tried driving home, had to pull over multiple times to puke. I was thinking I could forget the day and not think.. Didn't expect it to go that way. He never came through the door, and I never got my love song. I never got a chance to thank him for another wonderful year and another wonderful pregnancy or our great children as I did every year.

[Amor]

When I wrote the question I meant date of death but wedding anniversary work too.  I am sorry you had a hard day on you wedding anniversary.  I would think of the song on the radio the song he would dedicate to you that day.  Forever missing the special things we love that no one else had with your Love.  Cherish those moments.  There is nothing wrong with still thanking him even if he is not listening, it makes it better when I get it out. 

[lcoxwell]

On the anniversary of Kenneth's death, I didn't make a big deal out of the day. Mine and Kenneth's life together was a quiet and simple life, without much fanfare on the important days. On the sadiversary, I went into work, like usual, then stopped by his grave for a while, after school let out. It was helpful to just have some quiet time with him. The other thing that was helpful was to come here and write about his final day.

[SoVerySad]

I'm sorry you have to be facing this sad day, Amor. I suggest just thinking about what might bring you a little bit of comfort or peace on that day and plan for that. You continue to honor your spouse by the love you demonstrate every day. Maybe make that day about things that will help you just get through it.

 

Sending you love and tight hugs...

[Jen]

((((Amor)))))

 

I spent my sadiversary with other wids. It helped.

[Gabzmom]

I am sorry you are facing this day. And I am sorry for everyone having to face this day.  Hugs to you.  I don't have a whole lot of answers.  I think one day, though - maybe on his birthday, maybe on some other day, I'd like to have a big BBQ with an old school rock band.  He loved classic rock and it would be nice to celebrate his life with a rousing good time. 

[Amor]

Thank you all for your stories and suggestions.  I am still trying to plan mine.  I have off work that week.  I am trying to decide if I should move all my things that week or spend it doing other things?  Letting go of you home is hard for me to think about right now.  I feel like letting go of our home means I am letting go of him.  I can not let go I Love him so much. 

[Carey]

I don't recommend doing what I did.  My sadiversary fell on the sunday before thanksgiving, which was also the day that my family decided to do our family thanksgiving.  Long story, I was in charge of the turkey, they changed the time and didn't tell me so I didn't go.  I spent the day in bed bawling while my kids put together a turkey dinner