Gabzmom Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 I have never felt clearer. I can actually focus. I am not so overwhelmed. I am meeting people and going out and finding moments of joy and laughter. However, I have had a shaky feeling the last couple of weeks. Rob's 56th birthday was on the 20th and what would have been our 24th anniversary was yesterday. The week before I felt a little batshit crazy and I made it through the week. Yesterday, on the way to the cemetery, I had the heaviest feeling in my heart and tears simply flowed. I usually fight the sadness but last night, I just let it be. I had this wave of sadness wrapping itself around my heart and I couldn't shake it. I finally slept and my day today was typical as it normally is. However, again, tonight, it feels like my heart is floating in a cloud and at the same time weighing awfully heavy. I am just want to get through this month as next month brings the sad anniversary. It will be 3 years on June 30th. Thanks for letting me just ramble. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 This is completely normal. Hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissingSquish Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Sending hugs right your way. This is a crazy journey we are on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HvnBound Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Totally understandable, hugs to you Gabzmom! Ramble away, we get it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beyondlife Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 night's are hard. Everything we suppress and handle during the day comes out. Our defenses are down from using them all day long and all the sadness and loss just sneaks right back in. I find the anticipation is worse than the day. I've used up so much energy wondering and planning how to handle certain trigger days by the time the day arrives I'm exhausted and spent. Hugs to you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 So very true Beyond Life. So well put. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeanGenie Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Yup, BeyondLife summed up exactly what I was thinking. I also find the time leading up to these events to be harder than the actual day (of course, not usually recognizing that until after the fact) and it is usually at night, while lying in bed, in the quiet dark that the sadness and heaviness find me. Thankful for wid friends who get it and help me through it. Sending you hugs Gabzmom! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrokenHeart2 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Hugs to you GB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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