Hard to pull myself out of my funk

[singinmomo4]

For 3 months I've been battling with a wound on my ankle.  Right before my brother died, when I was in Arkansas visiting him and my family, my mother was coming up an unsecured wheelchair ramp they had in their garage, I saw it was unsteady, went to help her, the ramp buckled and we both fell.  Fortunately my mother was fine, unfortunately, the metal on the edge of the ramp sliced into my ankle.  Extremely nasty, deep, wide wound.

 

Three months I've been battling this.  I've been on at least 4 rounds of antibiotics, maybe 5, it's getting hard to keep track, because it keeps getting infected.  I was referred to a wound care specialist who, after several weeks, referred me to a surgeon and they have opened the wound back up and now I have an extremely nasty looking hole in my ankle about the width of a golf ball and about as deep as half of said golf ball.  It's taking forever to heal.  I've spent a small fortune on ER visits, doctor visits, supplies to take care of the wound.  I've been out of work for probably a month now with no idea when I will be able to be back. 

 

I'm supposed to stay off my feet and elevate my ankle most of the time.  The weather is beautiful out and I'm on my back unable to take care of my yard, do fun things with my children, clean my house,  etc.  I cook sometimes, often I send Mike (my 21 year old) out for food or to take the younger boys out somewhere, I get the dishwasher loaded and wash a load of clothes here and there.  My blueberries will be coming in soon but chances are I won't be able to get out there and pick them.  I love picking blueberries. 

 

I'm so tired of FB, playing internet games, watching tv.  I want to work, do things with my kids, travel with my kids, visit friends and family, use some of these points I've been collecting on free hotel rooms, airfare, etc.  I'm so tired of cleaning and dressing my wound.  I just want it to be over and it's not. 

 

I just needed to vent.  I'm tired, depressed and miserable. 

[Trying]

You deserve to vent, that just plain sucks.  I'm sorry it's taking so long to heal and you are stuck on your back. 

 

Wishing you speedy healing!

[SoVerySad]

No wonder you feel so miserable. That is a very tough spot you are in. I'm so sorry the wound is being so stubborn about healing. Having been through a recent period of convalescence requiring serious impact on my ability to do all that needs done, I truly do sympathize with you. It is hard to keep your spirits up during such a trying time.

 

Sending you tight hugs and my hopes that your recent surgery does the trick to get that ankle finally healed.

[Virgo]

That sounds miserable. I hope the wound heals this time so you can get back to your normal routine!

[Beyondlife]

That.Just.Sucks.

So freak'n frustrating

[Helen]

 

I really feel your pain with this one SMO4.

 

I have dealt with 2 surgeries in the past year, the 1st one was 6 weeks stuck at home and the 2nd one was 12 weeks. It has taken me quite a while though to begin to pull myself back together mentally, possibly this was my toughest period of grief.

 

The time of recovery just left me with so many feelings of being helpless and frustrated. My kids are around the same ages as yours and were pretty much useless. This would have been a tough time even if Graham was alive.

 

My response really is just to say that 'this too will pass', now as it begins to warm up here I feel some hope seeping back into my bones. My faith, which has been challenged so much by the constancy of trials, is very slowly recovering too. Hope is what we all need and losing hope this winter that things would get better, was extremely tough. God spoke to me last September and told me that from then on there would be more 'green lights' in my life, much of my frustration was this long winter with only red ones. Maybe He told me because it was going to be such a tough time, I am not sure but finally this week I got my first green one and change is afoot.

 

My prayer for you is that this crap will pass soon and your joy and energy will be restored, but until then there would be some fun to be had somehow.

[Catnip]

Get well soon!

 

I had surgery on my left foot years ago, I had a fallen arch and torn ligaments. They put in 3 screws. I was in a cast for 10 weeks, then once the cast came off, my entire leg swelled and back to the hospital I went with blood clots in my leg. (Ironically, my husband passed away from blood clots in both lungs.)Then, weeks of PT. At that time tho, my husband was alive to help. I still worked because I was on crutches and could drive.

During my time in the cast, my then 12 year old fell in my driveway playing basketball on Easter Sunday morning. He broke his right arm and had to have surgery with a metal plate put in. We have a picture of both of us sitting on the sofa, both in a cast! Some things you never forget.

 

Hope you get better and can at least get on crutches soon.

~Catnip

[singinmomo4]

Thanks everyone.  I got cleared to go back to work today.  Hopefully I'll get a few hours next week.  Still a lot more healing needs to happen but I guess it's making progress.  Ready for it to be over.