mokie

Hey BSK!! I knew if I checked in, that someone would have started this. Most seem to not have moved over here. I must admit, I don't count the days, months... I even have to stop and think about the years sometimes. It was a whole 'nother lifetime ago, it seems. But I do like to give myself a day to soak up the memories. **Mokie, reporting for duty 7/13/07**

That's awesome! Enjoy!

I think you're good... If they wanted that stuff, they would have gotten it last summer, you'd think. And the mixed punch? I don't know about where you are, but at my college in SE KS, we called it "Jesus Juice". Not sure why!! Finally this week we will be heading south to visit all our boys, and they are going to be the recipients of a lot of the stuff we're cleaning out. My son is going to be the "Biggest Winner" because he has his own house and a very large shop, so he's getting most of the goodies out of the redneck's shop. Several pieces of furniture, all the photos we took out of the frames... Next big deal is going to have to be a rummage sale.

Probably true. We've both admitted to being way more laid back than in previous marriages. No time to sweat the small stuff. Like you said, you never know what the last thing you say to someone is going to be. Might as well be something nice.

Yeah, you can still find Tang. I had it, and the instant tea, for making spiced tea. But I haven't made it in a couple of years, so the Tang and instant tea were pretty rock solid. Okay, I'm going outside to check on the redneck, then attacking that cabinet!

This is interesting. I have often thought that this marriage I am in now, post-widowhood, is the best marriage I've had. First marriage quickly ended in divorce, the second, widowed. I used to feel guilty about thinking that... We wouldn't be married now if our spouses hadn't died. But I know a lot of it has to do with building on, and learning from, past experiences. We haven't tried to change each other, we are more open to really listening to each other, we can use things that did or didn't work in the past to guide us now. I think we are both way more laid back and accepting of who each other is, and we don't sweat the small stuff. And we laugh, a lot. At ourselves, and each other.

I agree with the others. No longer a single parent.

I had fallen behind on this too, but just yesterday I went through the cabinet with the drinking glasses in it, and packed up all the stemmed wine glasses (I like to use the stemless ones) and the tall glass drinking glasses. Going to go with mostly plastic or shatterproof glasses in the future... My motivation behind getting rid of so much stuff is that we are selling most everything, or giving it away, and will be full-time RV-ing. I'm excited about it, but so much to do in the meantime!! A couple of days ago I went through the kitchen cabinet that has become a resting spot for whatever doesn't have another place, and threw out about half of what was in there. Super old decaf coffee, instant tea, tang... organized all the assorted paper plates and red solo cups... Somehow that cabinet is still full, but much more organized. Today I'm going to attack another cabinet... I have to decide which of the three (3!!!) crock pots I want to take.

Hey Sandi and TFO! Sandi, I love the idea of googling the ingredients you have on hand to find a recipe!! Just did that, and so I'm bringing this to the Bistro Potluck!! http://www.halfhourmeals.com/recipe/cheddar-bacon-ranch-chicken-pasta/ Turkey/cheese roll-up coming up for you, TFO! I've slacked off this afternoon. Got a great nap in though. It's beautiful here in Northern Michigan today too, but I just can't get motivated to do outside work yet. I did get my toenails painted so I can wear some flip flops tonight, though! That's very important. Now to get the legs shaved so I can wear capris.

Is it 5:00 yet?? I finally made myself get up and do something... Folded the 2 baskets of laundry that have been just sitting around for days, have another 2 loads in the washer and dryer, and sorted through the rest of the bathroom cabinets and tossed about 3/4 of a laundry basket full of stuff. I'm ready for a break!! Making some turkey and cheese roll-ups (anyone want one while I'm at it??) and then hitting the couch for a nap. Unless it's 5:00, then I'll have a drink! ;D Hope everyone's having a good day!!

Thanks for getting things going again, and keeping everyone updated!! You're appreciated!

I'm still trying to figure out what is wrong with short term energy-releasing behaviors? Wouldn't that be a HEALTHY thing? Maybe I should stop my exercise classes. :

Oh goodness!! Well, who really believes in that science stuff anyway!

I think it was through the friendship we had developed on the old board, that I knew. When I think back to any dating I have ever done, I always dated boys/guys/men I had been friends with first. I tried the online dating thing briefly after being widowed, but I just couldn't get into going out with someone I didn't know, for the express purpose of "coupling up". "The Bachelor" (that's actually his/our last name, for those of you who don't know... He used this for his "handle" on the old board, which raised a few eyebrows at first on a widow board LOL!!) and I were both early risers. We'd wake up in our separate parts of the country and find each other on the board and chat, which turned into PM's, which turned into instant messaging, which turned into text messaging... Always in the spirit of friendship. It took nearly 3 years and a couple of bagos for us to finally decide to take it to the next level. And by that time, it just felt right. And we both felt good at that point being able to tell our sons about it, and know they'd be okay with it. I felt guilt early on, when I was trying online dating. I was worried about people seeing me and wondering what I was doing out with someone else. My guilty feelings were a sign to me that it wasn't right at that time. By the time I had gotten comfortable with myself again, and was dating the right person, I didn't feel guilty anymore. **Just my experience and my personal feelings for ME. Individual results may vary.**

"Emotional vampires"... I love that term! Avoid the emotional vampires!

I've been doing this just this last couple of weeks... 4 bins of pictures in frames that were hung on the wall at one time or another. I took all the photos out of the frames and am giving them to my son and stepson. Special keepsakes of LH's that I still have are going to the boys too (his son is graduating from high school next month, so it's a good time to give him the remainder of the things I've been saving for him). We've also done some scanning and saving on CD's with special pictures. I've seen what my mom has saved... She's downsized a couple of times since my dad died, but she still has one entire closet filled with things she never looks at, but just can't seem to part with. My siblings and I will have to deal with it all one day. I don't want my son to have to do that with my stuff!

We didn't do one. To me, it felt like a "I don't quite trust you" thing. That's just what was right for us though.

Ooh, Bagos are always fun, Sandi! Always good to look forward to! We've been busy running here and there, working on the house, just doing a whole lot of nothing. The house is a mess, I'm tired... Need some fun!!

It's weird... I haven't had dreams of him for years.... I mean YEARS!! Like, not since the first year, and I'm coming up on 8 years out. But when all the rubble fell out from the old board closing, I dreamed of him. We were at someone's house, and a co-worker was there, and he and she were sitting on a couch and giggling like little kids over something, and I was standing near, and just laughing to myself about it. It was so strange...

I spent today cleaning out and organizing our medicine cabinet. Threw out a LOT of old meds. I was just settling down with a glass of wine and some chips, and saw the reminder on my phone of a meeting I have to go to in 45 minutes. Grrrrr! Oh well, it'll be a lot more enjoyable with a glass of wine in me. ;D

Cleaned out the medicine cabinet today... Tossed lots of prescription and OTC meds that were WAY past their expiration date, found toothbrushes, toothpaste, band-aids, and lots of other stuff that had never been opened and we had forgotten we had... Cut down the stuff in there by at least half.

Maybe... Go on out with your regular plans. Order a special drink, and say a silent toast, or if you feel comfortable, share a toast with new guy, to honor your husband's life, and you and new guy finding each other. I don't do anything special anymore either, but I do take a few seconds on those special days (birthday, anniversary, death date, etc) to just say a silent "You are remembered, you were loved, you made a difference in my life."

Tell them the truth... That you are not able to take care of your own things, and that you need to step back and let them live their lives, and you need to take care of yours. You can even make it sound like you're doing them a favor... "I realized you guys can't really have your own family time with me here so much. Can we set up a particular day that would be convenient for me to stop by for a couple of hours and see if you need anything?" You've got to do it for you, and for them. Those teenagers totally should have been helping you! Making a couple of meals is one thing... Cleaning their whole house and returning things to stores is a whole different ballgame. Take care of you!

I AM on a roll! I actually ended up with 3-1/2 garbage bags to donate. I was going to do the bathroom cabinets too, but I needed a nap more. There's a reason for my motivation... I'll share it soon. But for now, it sure feels good to get this much stuff out of here. Especially when it's unneeded/unused stuff, and someone else will be able to use it. And as far as the "1 item a day"??? I think I'm good up until the middle of next January! Ha! This thread was just what I needed to get going.

Dogs just seem to gravitate to Maureen. Our dog Budger fell in love with her. He was very disappointed to learn about Rosie. We've got a standing group-date with several friends tonight... Beer, burgers, coney dogs, wings... All the good stuff. I don't have any snapper recipes. I don't do fish as often as I should, although I can do a mean blackened fish. It's easy (which is why I do it!). I've used all kinds of fish... Just slather it with butter, sprinkle on the Zatarains blackening seasoning, and cook it over very high heat. Yummy! I even forego any tartar sauce, and that's pretty unheard of for me with fish.