mokie

It's always nice at the Bistro!! Yep, I'm missing me some Kansas spring weather right now. 87 is about as hot as it got here all summer last year. Anybody up for some drinks? I've got my usual wine going. I'm not ready for any cinnamon whiskey today... One glass of it (along with a few other concoctions) was enough yesterday... But I'll share the cinnamon whiskey, if anyone is interested.

Hoo boy. What a piece of work. I wouldn't hold my breath on cashing that check, if I were you. Hope everyone had a good Easter. Ours was pretty quiet. Hey, is that an Easter egg I see hiding in the corner over there? Did the bunny leave us some goodies we forgot to look for yesterday? I'm trying to clean up the house for Bunco here later this week. We've been sorting bins from the attic the last few days, and now it's time to clean up the mess. Those Bunco ladies will probably look in every nook and cranny! The dogs could help by not shedding anymore between now and then... And it would be nice if the weather would warm up before Thursday so the Redneck could quit hauling wood in through my kitchen. Since we got 3 inches of snow this morning, I'm guessing a warm-up is not in the forecast. Talked to my son today, and he said it's 87 there, and his little boy was playing in puddles from watering the garden. He has his garden in already!!! I'm at LEAST a month away from that!

And I SO get the "it's been X-weeks, and still X-more, and it's HARD!!!" We rarely went more than 3 weeks without seeing each other, but there was a time or two when it was up to 6 weeks. Again... keep the end game in mind!!

Yep, ultimately, someone has to be willing and able to make a move. In my (our) case, it was both of us. We both quit our jobs and moved to a totally different place and started a whole new life. I know this isn't possible for some, and with the job market the way it is, not always smart to quit a good job, but it worked for us. We also had 3 sons combined who were all in their 20's and either in college or on their own, so we didn't have to worry about uprooting little ones. That also made the traveling while LDR easier. I liked what Maureen said: "I guess that the factor that I considered most with my decision to pursue the relationship with John and to move to be with him was this one thing: Happiness. I would pursue a relationship again for that exact reason. I've had enough heartache. I will do what brings me the most happiness." This is so true... Do what's best for you... and little ones if they're around. Others in your life will come on board. Or not. But it's your life.

I've heard of this chocolate beer... the people who I know that have tried it say it's amazing! We'll get some of that on order, along with lots of tequila labeled "Sandi". I'll stick with my very uncool white zin... Unless I decide to get creative and mix some fruity umbrella drinks. Isn't it awful when someone assumes you're weak, when you're trying to be nice? I've had that happen too... And it's maddening! That's when I figure out how that person can disappear from my life... Or at least my sight. Ignore the mess in the corner. I've been trying to sort through all the mountains of stuff I've had stored in my attic for ages. I told myself at one time they were memories, but if I never look at them, then I guess the memories are all in my head... And why do I need them? So slowly I am whittling stuff down. But in the meantime, watch out for the piles of junk... They are all going somewhere... Someday!

I can tell you how I knew I was NOT ready... I connected with a guy on some dating site (this was at a year out), we had chatted for awhile, and finally decided to meet for dinner. I had picked out a neat place by the river that had outdoor seating. I figured that would give us something to look at and talk about anyway. Well, I walked up to the restaurant and saw 2 co-workers with their spouses sitting outside, and then the guy walked up, and I grabbed his arm and led him inside, and we had dinner in there instead. I knew then that if I wasn't ready for friends/co-workers to see me out with someone, then I was not ready to be dating. I took another couple of years off of even thinking about it after that, and just worked on getting comfortable with me. By the time I dated again, I was at a point where I could have gone on being just by myself forever if that was the way things went. I was content with myself. And I think that helped make me more open to other people.

I'm sorry.

Good luck on the car shopping. That can be a daunting experience. And sorry about the mean text from your BIL... Why don't some people realize a nice request works just as good as a nasty one, and makes things better for the future. Sounds like he may have been stewing on this for quite awhile, and let it blow up at the end. How were you supposed to read his mind? I understand about the emotional aspects of this. Even though you can logically tell yourself the color or type of car made no difference in his death... Well, our brains don't always work on logic. Have fun, and let us know what you found!

OMG!! I think I am FINALLY finished sorting through old photographs!! I went upstairs to get the box of things I packed up when I quit teaching, and instead found another dang container of pictures. Well, that's finally done. The other boxes will have to wait, as I have Bunco at my house next week, and it'll take me the next 5 days to get this house back in order. I think I am going to make a "here's things my son will want later" box, and put a few things in there. I have quite a lot I'm giving to him, but I don't think he'll want all of it. It's okay to have one "later" box, right?

My new husband and I were several hundred miles away while "dating". We talked or messaged every day, and we made the effort to travel to see each other. He had a better schedule for traveling, so he would often be the one to come see me, or we would both drive and meet somewhere in the middle, and check out new little towns. I had the summers off, so I would often spend a couple of weeks or more with him then. It was absolutely worth the struggle for awhile.

Hi Sandi! I hope someone helped you out here last night... Or that you did what everyone else does, and hopped the bar and helped yourself. Sounds like you had a rough evening.

Two more tubs of framed photos and keepsakes taken care of!! One pile for my boy, one pile for my stepson, a very large pile of frames, a little trash, and a small pile of things I don't know what to do with: a program from when I got to see the 1984 Olympic gymnastics team perform in KC (Bart Conner!!), a magazine from when John Denver died, one from when John Kennedy Jr died, and a book of poems and songs I used to write down when I thought the words were so romantic.

Haha!! That was pretty potent stuff, wasn't it? The funny thing about doing a wine-tasting at a winery... They give you just these **tiny** little sips of each wine. But then, when you try all 25 of their different wines, in under an hour, it catches up. Everything in that kitchen gadget store was HILARIOUS after that!! (and somehow, **someone** ended up with a case of wine in her car!!) ;D Good times!

Just wanted to add... The time that I felt most connected to him at the cemetery was sometime in the first year, I had driven the two hours to visit friends and look for a place to live nearby. I had gotten to the area early, too early to meet up with friends yet. It must have been a Sunday, because the football game was on the radio, and I went to the cemetery a bit after noon, I had the game on the radio, and I pulled up next to his grave, put the top down on the car so I could still hear it, and I listened to the whole football game while sitting next to his headstone. He was a huge Chiefs fan, a fan of any football game, actually. I remember thinking, "This is probably the most irreverent thing ever done in this proper little Catholic cemetery, but it feels so right."

Hi Riggers! I don't think we've met. I'm a semi-old-time member that had wandered away for a few years, but I'm hanging around this new place out of loyalty, and a desire to have this Widda board succeed and be here for future wids.

You got it... all of the above. That sucks. Unions are great for protecting those who deserve protecting, but sucks when the ones who need to go are saved. I feel for you. Here on the farm, if someone isn't doing their job, there's only the Redneck or me to look at. I'm breaking out the good stuff for you. And I'll ride that unicycle with the fringy outfit if it'll make you laugh.

I can't believe the amount of stuff we're getting rid of in our attic. All this junk we thought was worth saving at one point. It's amazing to see what kind of motivation you can muster up when you're thinking about having very very little storage space in the future!

Awwww... tell me all about your day, TooSoon. I'll get myself a second glass of wine. Need a refill?

That's a drinking game I could get into. But Mokie I think you would be totally sloshed if you did all the frames today: clean on picture frame, have a drink.... next picture frame, have a drink.... Maybe I will do this while cleaning the office... hmmm... better get a babysitter first. I like the way you think! I finished the ones in today's bin (sans drink) but I may remember this for tomorrow. Anyone want to join my frame-emptying party?

When S died, I had him buried back in the town where we lived when we met, and where I was planning on returning. That was 2 hours away, so I didn't visit very often, maybe every couple of months. Once I moved back, the cemetery was right across the road from my school, so I'd stop once or twice a week after school. That gradually diminished. Most days I'd say a "Hi Babe" as I drove by. Now I live 16 or so hours away, so I try to stop by the cemetery when I go "home" and make sure there's still flowers in the vase (I try to put in new "season appropriate" artificial flowers... It usually ends up being something red for fall and winter, and then something Kansas-y like sunflowers in the spring and summer). It used to be a very emotional thing, going there. Now, not so much. I don't really "feel" him there, and in reality, he's not. Just his body. But I like knowing that if someone else is there, that they see there's nice flowers there for him, that he was loved, that someone still remembers.

I brought another storage tub down from the attic today. This one is full of framed photos... School pics of the boys. A lot of those sports collage things with a team pic and an individual pic... There's a lot of them, since my son 4-sported it all through middle and high school. My stepson has quite a few too, though his are mostly from grade school summer sports. I'm pulling them all out of the frames, since I doubt either boy is going to hang them on the wall (makes everything lighter too!) and sorting them out for each boy. Then they are both going to be gifted with them. Also a couple of personalized things that were made for the family... Hate to do it, but those are just going to have to get tossed. And 3 small photo albums of S and my wedding, full of candid photos that people took at the wedding and reception. What to do with those??? I'm making a stack of all the leftover frames. Those are going either in the garage sale pile or the donate pile. I've got 11 so far, but I'm not very far into the storage tub. I need a drink... This would be a lot more fun then. :-\ The worst part? I think there's at least 2 more bins upstairs labeled "framed photos". Ack!! Making progress, though.

I'm sure! And I'll be watching for it! Seriously, in some families this would make total sense. Who else would have the same values and wonderful character as your husband, than his brother? (With my new husband, not so much. His brother couldn't be farther from him in values, humor, character, work ethic, views... everything! I don't know how two brothers so different were raised by the same parents.)

I'm sorry, Marian. It can be rough with kids at times, and especially so when there's an ex in the picture. I hope things begin to look up for you.

**mokie comes sliding into the Bistro** Hey gang! I've been so busy today... I hate those days. Exercise class, tax appointment (oh yay...), lunch, bowling, dinner with friends. I had an amazing ahi tuna with garlic mashed potatoes and grilled veggies that was amazing. I could try to replicate that here if anyone is interested. Also still slinging drinks from the bottle or can, or you're welcome to hop behind the bar and mix your own. Anyone around??

Awesome! After our massages, I'm gonna need to hit the sack. Dang Eastern time zone.