mokie

Okay, all orders are coming up... And all fur-babies are welcome! Okay, so Maureen is writing a paper. She can have the table over there in the corner to work, so we still get the pleasure of her company. What is everyone else up to today? The Bachelor and I have been doing some spring cleaning, and listing for sale some things we've just had taking up room in the closets or attic. He's ahead of me right now with one sale at $25. We should probably check in some of the bistro closets... Who knows what we have stuffed in there???

I had a couple of requests to re-open the "Bistro". For those who weren't around, this was a fun thread we kept going... Oh, back around 2008-2011 maybe. Virtual Bistro, coffee, treats, pretty umbrella drinks, everyone's favorite food served. The fire is always going, the weather is always perfect, and all problems can be left at the door. So anyone who's interested, we're back open for business. Who want's to pull up the first barstool? I have to admit, I'm no good at mixing drinks, so I can serve you anything that comes straight out of a bottle or can... Otherwise, feel free to hop the bar and start mixing. I'm enjoying a glass of wine right now... My feet are propped up by the fire, and I've brought my kitty Bo along if anyone needs some snuggling. Be careful though... Bo is a master at knocking things off any table, so keep ahold of your drinks!!

Well, okay then! ;D

Hey 2013widow... To each his own. I'm way past the days of crying every day (or at all). I hadn't really participated at YWBB regularly for several years, until it closed. I'm coming up on 8 years out this summer, and have a whole new life going on. I feel kind of obligated to hang out here and help the new place get going. I avoid some of the sections, probably because I feel I can't relate anymore. At some time I should probably sneak in those sections and see if I can find any wisdom to impart, or at least a suggestion or two. If I think back, what seems "whiny" now was probably very important to me early on. Maybe we can think up some of the fun threads that used to be on the old board that helped pull people out of their dark places. I know some of those fun threads were where I hung out the most.

Okay, if BSK is a Village Elder, then I guess I am too, since we both joined this "club" within a couple of weeks of each other. And I always appreciated comments from the previous "elders", so I'm making an effort to hang out here. The success comes from people of all time frames helping each other out.

Okay, finally got going on this. Today I went through the tub of things that belonged to S that I had saved for his son. He's graduating from high school this May, so it's a good time to give them to him. That also meant finding the book that everyone signed at the funeral and the gigantic stack of cards everyone sent. What in the heck do you do with that??? They were important to keep early on, but now... Not so much. I'm never going to look at them again. Anyway, I found some things I could toss. And went through a tub with old jackets and snow boots that aren't good enough to donate, so into the burn barrel with them!

Okay, we're starting this tomorrow at our house. We're seriously thinking, planning, a whole lifestyle change that will necessitate getting rid of A LOT of stuff. I'm catching up on laundry from our vacation today... Tomorrow will be the day!!

I'm still not sure whether the question is to have a section for members here to "hook up" with each other (BAD idea, for many reasons... This is not a dating site) or for people to talk about dating and becoming part of a new couple (this section basically takes care of that already in its description: "This board is for talking about friendships, dating, relationships, remarriage, and other topics related to social encounters."). Many many couples have met through this board (well, YWBB) through fun social threads that moved to PM's, Bagos, the chat room, a serious thread where a particular viewpoint was eye-catching, or a combination of those (my husband and I are one of those many couples) but the purpose of our initial (or years of) postings weren't to find someone again. Neither was it for any of the other couples I know from YWBB. But sometimes the way someone expresses themselves catches your attention, and a deeper friendship evolves. Making a separate section for finding a date here would definitely change the tone and purpose of this board. To me, this social section covers it. If a particular dating topic needs to be discussed, start a thread here, being specific in the title. Seems to cover it to me.

Two weeks after he died was our anniversary... I took our 2 boys and we just hit the road, choosing right, left, or straight at each intersection. We ended up at Lake of the Ozarks, and spent the day riding go-carts and playing in arcades and eating BBQ and just having a great time. I took many great trips for Bagos that first two years too. Just after the 1 year mark, my son, his girlfriend (now his wife) and I took an awesome trip to the Keys. We wanted to reward ourselves for making it through the first year... My son's girlfriend had been a part of our family for years by then, and when DH died, she came straight to the house (4 hours) and ended up dropping her summer school classes to stay and help take care of us... She had to be a part of this trip! We did all kinds of crazy expensive things... Scuba diving and snorkling, swimming with dolphins, parasailing.... and just hanging out on the beach and soaking up the sun. It was the best trip! I was ready to tackle year 2 after that. I also took a solo trip during Spring Break at about 8 months. Hit the road, looked up 3 of the houses I lived in while growing up in the South, drove down Bourbon Street in NOLA with the top down on the car, then drove along the coast and picked out a hotel on the beach to stay at for a few days before heading home... Another great trip. I learned to be good with myself on that trip.

The donkey knows I adore him (I think).

Awwww.... Thanks, Shelby! :-* Oh, sure - mokie and kmouse and fleur are all so wonderful. Nary a mention of poor old Eeyore. :-\ Where's the shovel? You may as well dig a hole and bury me. :-X Oh brother... Where'd I put my teeny tiny violin?? ;D

Awwww.... Thanks, Shelby! :-*

I'm one that, other than going back to YWBB and reading the closing notice, decided not to go back any more. No re-reading topics, no copying my posts, nothing. It was done, nothing to change about that. I guess the realist in me decided that since there was nothing to be done, I wouldn't waste time getting mad or sad about it. I am a little sad though... Sad that the place that taught me to live again was gone... All those words I poured out... To get help, to hopefully give help... were gone. But everything I gained from YWBB is still with me. I still have all the amazing friends I met there, I still have the hopeful outlook for life that I rediscovered there, I still have my wonderful husband that I met through that place... It's all with me, and I am not the broken creature anymore that I was when I joined in January of '08, six months after being widowed. Thank you to everyone who chatted with me, who responded to me, who laughed with me in the "Bistro", who told ridiculous jokes and posted hilarious pictures, and taught me to laugh again. YWBB was made up of the people who inhabited it, and if we're all here, then that spirit is still alive.

Ha! When I had the opportunity to meet Dona at the Fort Lauderdale bago, I asked her if Mokie was your first name!! She explained it to me. That's funny! I've had people ask me if Mokie or MoKan was some type of Indian name. =)

These are fun to read! When I was first widowed, I lived in Missouri, but knew I'd move back to Kansas when the next school year was up... MoKan_girl became my original screen name from that. Somewhere along the line I forgot my password and couldn't log in, and many people on the board had shortened my name to Mokie, so when I re-registered, I just used Mokie.

And that's the beauty of this place... We can have our "pity parties" and feel validated, without having to voice our hurts to the whole world that won't understand. Sometimes you've just gotta have a place to let it out!!

Hi! Good to see you! For me, this road has taught me to take more chances... That there will always be another brick wall to smack into somewhere in the future, so when awesome new chances come my way, I think, "Well, why the heck not?" and jump in with both feet. I try to focus on the positive, enjoy the moment, and I really, really keep myself away from negative people. If someone gives me bad vibes, I really can't afford to give them my time. We all have seen enough bad in this life... I want positive people around me.

He left for work like every day... I was home because it was summer. My boy had gone to work at the vet's office, my husband's son was still asleep at home. I got a call from his secretary that I should come to the office... They thought he was having a heart attack. My first thought, because he was a bit of a hypochondriac, was, "Oh geez... Don't do this at the office..." But then she said the man he was meeting with was giving him CPR. I sprang into action then, got his boy out of bed, and we dashed in to the office. I was still in the shorts and t-shirt I had slept in. By the time we got there, the EMS Guys were doing rescue, trying to shock him, doing CPR. I called my son and luckily caught him before they went out on a vet call... He drove us to the hospital following the ambulance. I never NEVER thought I would get the answer from the doctor that I did... That they did everything they could, but he was gone. WHAT??? That's not the right answer... Go back and fix things!! Everyone here knows the rest... The disbelief, the horrible calls to family, the PEOPLE in my house later when I just wanted to go in my room and bawl... I never thought I'd ever get past it. Luckily I've had good people around me who helped me learn to live again, helped me to live always for today, because tomorrow is never promised. Many of those people I met through the board. I'm forever grateful to them!!

Honestly I don't really expect people to remember, and am surprised when someone does. I have a couple of friends who send me a message, but it's not a day I really want to mark any more. I'd rather remember the life we had than the day he left it. (But then, I couldn't even tell you the day my dad died... I don't even really remember the year...)

Somewhere about 2 or 2-1/2 years out, my son asked me how I was doing (he was mostly away at college). I told him I was okay, and he said, "But you deserve to be more than just okay." From that moment, I made it a point to lift myself up and live for me. I wasn't honoring anybody by living in the past. I bought a house (all on my own!!!) and started LIVING. By the time I met my new husband, I had already become comfortable with me again. I could have lived just with me, and continued my life as it was, if we hadn't met. Anyway, it was sometime after my son told me I deserved more than just "okay". We all deserve that.

widda 1.a true gangster. 2.A lover of rap music. 3.A rebel without a cause. 4.A loose cannon I suppose 3 and 4 are kind of true. 1 is doable but 2 is a defenitely NO! That's hilarious!!! 3 and 4 have definitely been true in this "widda-ed" life!

Not from "Wicca", just a slang form of widow.

Hello again, tableforone!!

I was told I was strong once... I didn't take offense to it, because it came from the man who D's CPR on my husband before the ambulance arrived. I know he was hurting too. But I just told him, "I don't have any choice."

How nice to read through this thread and see so many familiar names!! I have to admit, I have tried poking back around the old board recently (I haven't really been a regular poster in about 3-1/2 years) and I wouldn't see many people I knew, and didn't know if anyone cared to hear from someone they didn't recognize. The closing of the old board made me sad, though, because it, and the chat room, were such a lifeline to me in those early days when I couldn't sleep. I've made wonderful real-life friends from the board, met my new husband through the board, my board friends are some of the first people I contact when we're traveling back home. I wasn't sure about joining the new board, but I know some of the creaters in person, and know they are good people, and I want it to succeed and be out there when new wids go looking. It's hard to keep up right now, as we're vacationing and I just have my iPhone, but I'll be checking in more often when we get back home and I can use my laptop... The same one I bought and found the old board with. And yeah, the logo? Awesome, isn't it? I have the t-shirt (actually, a tank top) too.