Love2fish

Momto, That is so creepy that you recognize guys who are probably cheating. Have you considered writing to one of them and calling them out? A couple women who I was talking to suspected me of some kind of cheating. They called me out on it, or so they thought. This did not bother me in the least and I admired them for applying due diligence. I only dated smart women. Their suspicions were easily set to rest with a link to DW's obit. If you're mistaken and they have a good explanation then nobody lost anything. If they get angry it's because they are guilty.

Is this thread for girls only? I'll just make one post FWIW and ski-daddle. I am still known by my DW's maiden name and my name combined as one name. We both changed our surnames to the combination. I have no desire to change that. I will die with her name as part of my own.

I hear what you are saying TooSoon, "No moralizing or guilt is necessary or productive" Most of the time that is true. I have learned a lot about my limits as you so aptly put it. I have been hurt, i expected that and won't complain. Finding what I am looking for is tough! Unfortunately, I have also made some errors that hurt very nice ladies. Those are the times that I lost some "self respect". I never set out to hurt anyone. I was just testing the limits. Now I feel badly about how obtuse I was to the feelings of some very wonderful women. I have had the experience of true and complete forgiveness. DW did that for me. I hope I can earn it once more time. I don't think there is any guarantee about that.

This. Summed up the last couples pages of this thread in the fewest words possible.

What she said. Good subject to think about klim. Can we add a qualifier? What would your numbers be if you were in public but pretty sure no one could see you or hear the giggles? ;D When I was dating online my profile declared PDAs R Me.

Life has been too easy lately. I got a call yesterday from a former girlfriend. We keep in touch every couple months or so just to chat about life. She was calling to let me know she had just gotten a call from someone pretending to be me. He said he had a cold so I-he might not sound the same. He has a sad story about I-he. Stuck in court in another State and I-he needs $5,000.00 to get home. My friend figured the scam out pretty quickly so the only harm so far is the time wasted talking to that lowlife. My worry is about how the underworld knew to target that particular lady using my name. The only way they could make that connection is by hacking her computer, or my computer, or PlentyofFish from 4 years ago. It is most likely that they hacked her computer. But if they hacked POF for my data they might call a whole bunch of ladies that I exchanged names and phone numbers with. I would feel SO horrible if someone I met on POF got ripped off!! Anyone else ever get targeted like that?

No and no. That is not only shallow but it is inconsiderate at best and possibly cruel. I always went through with the M&G and even enjoyed many of the dates which I knew were not going to have a follow-up. On the other hand, when you already know that a date is going nowhere it can be a kindness to say so rather than let the other person feel like you were leading them on.

That is a good point about the vetting trying2breathe. Men are generally safer with online dating. Lots of women’s profiles are just scammers but they are easy to spot if you ask the right questions. Only once did I meet a woman who I now believe was only there for the dinner. That doesn’t bother me. It was a nice dinner and she was a good conversationalist. Cheaper than a night at the theatre. Yes, it was worth the effort. Lucky for me to find this gal. She’s got a great sense of humor. When she met two of my closest friends she made a name tag for herself that said “ Hi, My Name is #141” I did end up with a good great result. I don’t suggest that triple digit meet & greets should be part of anyone’s strategy. I never set out with that as a goal, it just worked out that way. On the plus side it gave me a ton of funny stories. On the negative side there were broken hearts. A number of the M&Gs led to serious dating. A few were broken off by me and just as many by the lady. No matter who it was that broke things off, I always felt that my heart was broken as well.

Addendum: When I said "meet as many as possible". I forgot to add, I met 141. The odds of me meeting the right one were poor from the git-go. I am past retirement. I had a life. Every great woman I met also had a life. It is never possible to combine two lives without both being able to give up some of the previous life. That is a tough thing for anyone to do. I am happy to say that it can be done and it is totally worth the trouble.

Again I have to agree with Arneal, To Julesrter3, I believe that what you are calling "free" websites have upgrade options. When i was on those sites I always paid for the upgrade but I met many women who were sticking with the free option. My attitude was that this was the most important thing I was doing. Finding a new companion is on a level with buying a home or choosing a career. It is worth an investment. From what I can tell, the matchmaking services are no better than chance at matching you up with the right one. Meeting as many as possible was my approach. You can't know by Email or phone conversation. Real life is the way to go.

I hear you. DW kept a journal during a time she needed healing over problems we were having. I could have done without finding that.

Truer words were never spoken Momtokam. I hope your experience has some humor, something you can laugh about soon? Even here on WIDDA our words will outlive us. In that time they may be discovered by anyone who knows us now or in the future. May my words be sweet and tender I may have to eat them tomorrow.

I am here because I still have a lot to learn about life and love. Writing about these things helps me find answers, ... where I fit in the life and love story. I started this writing on other boards while I was caregiving to DW. It surprised me to find out how important it is to write my deepest thoughts down. It is the best way I’ve found to bring those deeper thoughts into existence. It is also important to know that what I write is going to be read by at least one person. That makes it necessary that I write clearly so as to show respect for the person who is going to take the time to read what I have written. In working to speak clearly to others I speak to myself more clearly. Thank you for reading. Love2fish

It sure is crazy. He's only suing for $17.31, the cost of the ticket. Why not include the loss of comfort from the children they will never have now? BTW .. A movie is a lousy idea for a meet & greet anyway. She should countersue for dating malpractice.

You must have exchanged names at the M&G right Needy2 ? He was so excited when he met you that his brain overloaded.

This. Some men are literacy challenged and you will never get a complete thought out of a text message from them. There are worthwhile men who who never had need of writing skills ( I'm speaking to pre-millenials now). Having a sophisticated smart phone is no guarantee of sophisticated thoughts. Then there are guys (I think I am one of these) who are literate but have a healthy aversion to too much texting. Allow me a little rant here please? I had a year+ long relationship with a woman who just had to text several times/day. About important stuff. We had more problems arise as a result of misinterpretation than I can recall without trauma. Our relationship ended with a heartbreak for each of us because of misinterpretation. You must talk IRL to be understood! Here is another story from a meet & greet that I think is hilarious. I usually gave my real name and cell phone # to a woman just before the M&G. I did not ask for her number in return unless a second date was called for. We had agreed to meet the next night when I gave her my # through POF. In the next 18 hours I got over 20 text messages from her. : Her final text was just to let me know she knew that I lived some distance and she was not tied down to where she now lives. TMI and TMT (too much texting) Thanks, I needed to get that off my chest. Please keep this thread alive Needy. We are all living vicariously through your adventure. When I was doing M&Gs all my friends did so through me.

I love to give advice Needytoo. My first and most important tip is never follow any of it. No one will ever know even a tiny fraction of what it is that makes you tick. Listen to it and if it truly feels like your own inner voice then it may have merit. If things aren't feeling right about this guy they probably are not. If it's just a question of propriety then suggest an alternative for your next encounter. You are in charge. It sounds to me like he may have been smitten with you. I've been on both sides of the smitten dynamic and over-sharing was one clue. If you feel some attraction then being on the receiving end of smitteness is a great place to be for a host of reasons. But tread lightly. Where smitten goes there go strong feelings. But maybe he's just an over-sharer

I am almost jealous of widows who can be so clear about what they can accept and what they can’t. Widower here. I entered the dating world right away. I made the conscious decision to find my last love before I got comfortable living alone. I did not want to develop a list of requirements for the new relationship. I figured I was going to re-couiple anyway so why adapt to life alone and then re-adapt to cohabiting? So how did that work out for me? LOL ;D Here I am 4 1/2 years later with 141 meet & greets under my belt (no i did not mean it like that, get your mind out of the gutter). Things are working very well with #141 so I don’t think there will be a #142. This lady fills the bill on the long list of qualifications i’ve now developed and the chemistry is great. There are many ways to find a relationship, and as many ways to have a relationship, aren't there?

We talked about it as a hypothetical years before. We were always on the same page about such things so I had no doubts about how she would want me to live my life. Her two best friends looked out for me the first few months and I talked to them about my dating. They both said that I would have her blessing.

That is spot on Arneal. I always read a woman's profile before the first message and it seemed like more than 1/2 used negative phrasing. I think the same lesson applies to how we live our lives as well. You might say "Don't throw those skivvies on the floor" or you could say "I'd love it if you tossed those in the hamper lovey!" Unless you really prefer the whitey-tighties on the floor. I knew one lady with too many cats. Underwear was as close to a dust rag as her floor ever saw.

1. I spread the loam and grass seed today in time for the next few days of rain. Just in time! 2. The black flies are not out yet. 3 This thread was bumped.

The link works J. And the words are indeed thoughtful. Worth remembering from time to time.

This actually happened today. I got a phone call from local # that I did not recognize. Hello Oh, hello. Is this ***? Yes. I'm ***. My name is ****. I don’t think I know you. I don’t think I know you either ****, that makes us even. But I hope you know what this call is about. You are in my phone so I’m trying to figure out if I should delete your number. Did you know my husband? No I’m pretty sure I did not know your husband. Have you been dating ****? if you have there is a good chance we had a meet & greet. I usually gave my number to women before we met so they could google me. I should add that I am seeing someone now. Good for you! Is it OK if I delete your number from my phone? Yes **** I think it would be OK to delete my number.

I am Love2Fish. Loved one woman for 35 years. That love arrived at the finish line almost 5 years ago. I am not a young widower chronologically speaking . I am just a year shy of being an octogenarian. But I am a young widower in ways that I value higher than how many times I’ve been around the sun. DW and I had the blessing of a year to say goodbye and to realize what a good thing we had all along. We did that year right. We did not do every year of our marriage right but we got the last one so right that it made me a better person. A transcendental experience. As the year went by I had to take on more and more chores, then caregiving. During the year I had the unexpected side effect of feeling my heart grow. It grew three sizes that summer. I had never in my life imagined that I could love someone that much. It was such a nice surprise. Who would not want that again? I've spent LOTS of the last 4+ years dating (POF, Match, OKCupid, SeniorPeople…) . Looking for the chance to do it all one more time. The dating has paid off! I am seeing a lady that I introduce as “my last girlfriend”. I know that many of you, 10 or 20 years younger, don’t think the terms “girlfriend” or “boyfriend” sound right at your age. I think the terms are appropriate and accurate. Young love is young love no matter what your age is.

I don't know much about that group but I know a few things about groups. This is just my not-so-humble opinion. Each area chapter is going to have its' own personality. Local chapters can be run by honest, hard working, genuinely nice people or they could be run by egotistical jerks. Don't be afraid to check it out and stay if you feel it click or bail if you don't feel the love.