momtokam

I wanted to see some reactions before I offered my thoughts on this. My first reaction was laughter. I couldn't believe this truly existed. Do people really do this? And yes, what is training all about? My next thoughts were that it did indeed feel creepy. I mean, complete strangers and practically intimate touching? Yes, not sexual but cuddling is still intimate to me. I have only cuddled a partner, my children, or a very close friend. For some reason, I see massages differenly though. It seems professional and therapeutic. Should I see this the same way? But the massage is delivered as a one way service. The cuddling is two way? Thank you for the essay Bunny. It was interesting to see a full review of the experience. Bottom line.....I do not think this would be for me!

I'm needing that knowing glance across a room...a simple word...the all day suggestive foreplay over text or phone...the buildup...the anticipation... Not to mention what comes after all that buildup... Getting my clothes ripped off would help too!

I remember a previous discussion about this a while back. I was debating where to post it..... What are you needing? (And NOT getting) Meeting new people? (Discussing meetups) On line dating vents and laughs? I gave up and just started a new thread... You will need to be logged in to see it I think as it's a screen shot. The app would not let me copy and paste. Would you go???

This was my intent when I started the online dating vents and laughs thread, what seems like ages ago. I wish I had more info like this when I started out.

My reaction was more along Rob's reaction. I guess I can see it in your Dan's situation MrsDan. This guy's one profile seemed so vague though and seemed to be a way to get attention from someone (younger picture) and then come clean once he had your contact info. That did not sit well for me. I guess if I want to be more anonymous I could create another FB profile and just use that one for dating. What I did do was remove my cell phone from my profile. It wasn't public but I think if someone has it in their phone, FB likes to say they might know you and you show up in their recommendation, as part of their algorithms.

SunshineFL has offered excellent advice. Please follow it. Sadly, handsome widowers are now a red flag for me. Most of my scammers have used this MO. Especially with some kind of engineer or gemologist profession, and working overseas. If they give you their email and phone number and ask you to go off site too early, that is another red flag. If it is a scam, please remember, it's not you. We have all had scam attempts and been targeted. It's a very normal part of on line dating. They must think widows are more vunerable but we need to show them we are not! That is why I mess with them quite often! If I waste some of their time, it's less time they have to go after someone else. I will only give out my cell number after a few messages on line to rule out if they are scammers or crazy or married etc. If I'm still hesitant I will ask for their number and call them with my number blocked. If the call is comfortable, I will text them after so they have my number. You can Google your own cell number and see what comes up. Make sure no identifIable info comes up. I also Google different parts of what I do I give out to see what comes up. My first name, and some other seemingly benign info brings up more info than I would like, so I am careful with what info I give out initially. As far as looks go, everyone has different preferences. You have already proven you can have a loving relationship with someone. You can have that again. Don't ever think differently. Confidence in yourself is one of the biggest attractions to many men. Be happy with yourself, own it and flaunt it!

Needytoo, Ghosting sadly is the norm rather than the exception. I am definitely not boring and I get ghosted. I think these guys have many on the go and pick and choose who to continue with. This is fine, it's not like we are exclusive at this initial point. My issue is that they are not upfront about it and they feel disappearing is easier than saying something. My ghoster from above really bugged me though because the time and effort he put in didn't feel like he was juggling with anyone else. Lesson learned! Phone number only in the first message? This is a no for me. It's a sign they want you off the site to communicate. It could be for many reasons, most not good. I need a few messages on the site first to rule out any major red flags or deal breakers. My first meets generally go very well. But I am a talker and an extrovert so I have no problem keeping things going back and forth. I've never had a first meet that didn't want to see me again. I am the one that has chosen not to continue at times. My problem is getting to the first meet. I really don't know why for sure. I still suspect that my age, 51, and having 3 kids, 2 youngish, has a lot to do with it. The men my age want younger or very free and available women it seems. The much older men who contact me have not appealed to me. I'm ok with 5-7 years older but more than that doesn't appeal to me. Just like more than 5-6 years younger doesn't appeal to me. If anyone has suggestions to get to the first meet stage, let me know!

I hope this goes exactly as you hope for TS. It's been a long time coming and you all deserve this. Many hugs!

SunshineFL, You already know how much I'm cheering for you! :-)

I'm really missing and needing the physical touch....

If he can't commit to a meet, he never had an intention of meeting. Just my experience.

Thank you for the kind words everyone :-) Klim, You made me laugh! I bet it must have felt great to get that out! Rob, Thank you. I need a smart one, for sure! Wecouldbeheros, Thank you and I hope to. I'm going to take a little break from all this, and then come back, and try again! :-D

This week has provided a couple doozies.... 1. Conversing with someone I was really enjoying. I got the best first line ever, about him saving a bird on his property, when I asked him to tell me something about himself. He seemed extremely interested and we made plans to meet this Saturday. Then late Wednesday....POOF! Stopped responding. Completely out of character as he was a prolific caller and texter. Another one Ghosted! I decided to reply as follows.... Hey XXX, I'm guessing you are no longer interested? Not sure why the complete reversal of intentions within hours. I wish you could just be honest about it. Trust me, I have survived much worse! Why men feel the need to just vanish in thin air, I don't know. Good luck in whatever you are looking for. I hope you find her. I am quite a catch and the right real man will be one lucky guy! I felt much better after that! 2. Matched and messaged with someone and seemed ok to exchange numbers with. First text I get was a picture. I was worried it was "one of those pics". Nope, it was a pic of a much older and heavier person. I was not impressed and said so. He tried to say hello a couple days later. Then looking through my FB people I may know....are 2 profiles....young pic with name he gave...older pic with a different name. Called him on it and he brushed it off as lots of people have 2 FB profiles. I told him to bugger off and within minutes I get a group chat set up on Viber from younger profile with a bunch of other women. None of us had a clue what was going on. I blocked and reported it. I threatened him with telling the head of his company what he did. Ironically I know the CEO of where he works. He denied everything. Block!!! I felt such ICK after that. I hid all my profiles!

At least you are getting to the meet stage better than I am! More about that on another post. Sometimes I think it will depend on the person we are meeting. Perhaps what you want will become more evident once you get to know someone more and start to like them more. I try to keep myself open to that. I am hoping the right connection and the right person will guide where my future will go. If potential is there, see a few of them again and go from there! I obviously am no expert here though. My track record has proven that! :-D Maybe I'll take more guidance from you!

Good luck and enjoy the moments together!

Sunshine FL, so many lessons learned. Thank you my sweet friend. 😊 Trying, the second guessing was so hard to overcome. I definitely deserve more and finally realize it.Thank you for the kind words. 😊

Last week I had 2 phone conversations with 2 past relationships. The first was with my most recent relationship, if you can call it that. It was basically casual. We both had agreed to no expectations. I wanted more mutual effort and involvement. Not a full on relationship per se but more than I was getting. I know he wasn't seeing anyone else but had other things going on. I called him in a weak moment. He was very wistful and remembering our good times. Yet many of the issues I had a problem with were amplified and I realized I deserved more. The second was with my 1st relationship post widow. That was more serious. We were together about a year. It ended about 2 years ago. He asked to friend me on FB. I texted asking why. We then talked on the phone. All the issues that made me end it were still there. He had not done one thing to improve his life or his daughters lives. It made me very sad actually. He is a mess. I am now over 4 years out as a widow. During this time I have grown and changed so much. Yes, I've made mistakes. But these were incredible learning opportunities. I have learned what the new real dating and relationship world is all about. Many times I have had doubts about if I should have left these relationships. Was I being too picky? Was I crazy to leave a sure thing for something pie in the sky that may not ever come? I realized without a doubt I have done the right thing. It's better to be alone than with the wrong person. It took all this time and these 2 calls to make me see this clearly. Will I find the right person? I don't know. I hope I do. I'm not a quitter and keep trying, even after all my craziness in dating or trying to date, that I have often posted about. I am an amazing catch. Someone is bound to catch on sooner or later! In the meantime I'll keep trying to entertain you all with my crazy stories! I couldn't survive without laughter! 😊

You really can't make this stuff up! Message on Match. I can actually read it as this member has the reply for free option.... "I really enjoyed reading your profile. I just wanted to say hi…." This is what my complete profile says... "Find me before August 17th, 2016...I will expire after that... You didn't find me... So I guess I have expired... Too bad... I am a great catch too..."

I'm sorry RyanAmysMom. The married guys are everywhere, even the paid sites. My match has expired since last August. I had deleted pics and all narratives. Just my stats are there. I added I am no longer a member on my status line and in my info section I wrote saying sorry you missed out, I'm no longer a member, too bad as I am a good catch! I added a pic back 2 days ago, as an experiment but did not change my words.... I now have likes, winks, messages! This proves that most men don't read, they only look at pics! Geez!!!

Yup! Busy season! The widowed, pipeline engineers, working overseas, are in full force!

Random Happy New Year texts came in on NYE..... One from Mr "Can't meet you for coffee because I don't know when I'll finish from the gym". Second from Mr "Come to my place and chill on a first date". Yes, I laughed! 😁

Sorry momtojandj. I found scammers galore this round too. Pins in my eyes....Yup! Way less painful! Virgo, Yup, I have lost all my patience as well!

I'm very sorry Rebecca. My husband died in a sudden accident 4 plus years ago. It was a long while of being in a complete fog and haze for me. Many things I still can't truly remember about those early days. I can say things do get better. It's hard, I'm sure, to think that now and I would not have believed anyone if they told me that early on. Hang tight and breathe....Biggest hugs to you.

Wishing everyone well for the start of the new year! I know it's not easy for everyone to look forward, but I wish everyone the strength to do it. Hugs to all.

http://youngwidowedanddating.com/ I'm not sure if it's been posted before but there are some good posts to read. Many points have been discussed on the board here as well.