momtokam

Hugs Jen.... I haven't been up to a lot of posting on here either lately. I am thinking about you though. I know it sucks. I wish I could take away some of your pain.

Needytoo, I'm sorry you are dealing with the weird ones again. The good ones are out there, it's just that they are harder to find. They are mixed in and rare, amongst all the crazies. I really like your profile. It's honest and real. But, I'm not a man out there looking. I often wonder what they really are looking for or what will get their attention. My latest crazy sarcastic profile was an attempt to see if a different approach would get a different response. The jury is still out on whether it has worked or not. I still believe that being yourself in your profile is the way to go. You want someone to gravitate towards you for the real you. Not some made up idealistic profile. If it takes longer, then it is what it is. I have a new attitude towards all this dating/relationship stuff...If it's meant to be, it will happen. I am not overthinking anything. I am enjoying what comes and open to different scenerios...even surprising myself. I know it's really hard Needytoo. I hope that real and deserving men will show themselves to you soon.

Thank you my friend.... And SunshineFL's profile is definitely worth the read! I just provided a little inspirarion and the writing queen made it come alive! I bow to her writing skills! 😊

My updated profile, based on some of my experiences with on line dating.... 14 reasons why you should NOT get to know me: 1. You send me a message with one word....I know how to read more than one word. 2. You have multiple pictures in your profile holding fish....I like to eat fish but don't care how many you have held. 3. Your profile pictures do not contain one smile on your face...I would like to date a happier person. 4. Your profile states you want a woman 25-35 years old and you are over 50......I know that with age comes so much more. Use your imagination. 5. Your pictures only show you wearing sports gear, ski suits, scuba suits, hockey gear, and bike helmets.... I wonder who is really under there. 6. You are only shown wearing sunglasses..... I wonder what you are hiding. 7. You fav me, wink at me, like my pictures and then immediately hide your profile or ignore my messages......I wonder why you bother. 8. You say you are easy going, fun, like to spend time with friends, and love your kids....I wonder why you need to point these things out. 9. You have 2 profiles up with different ages and locations but the same profile picture......I am not stupid. 10. You take selfies in the bathroom.... I am surprised that you didn't clean the bathroom first. 11. Your pictures are with a group of people......I don't know which one you are. 12. You are a pipeline engineer, you will say you are a widower, and you are out of town on important business, and will suddently need my help financially......Can there really be that many of you? 13. You don't reply to nice messages that clearly show I read your profile, even if to say "sorry not interested".... I do respond to messages like this, or I used to, until I recieved angry messages back. 14. You are not, nodding in agreement, smiling or maybe even laughing at this list...We would not get along.

Of course it was meant as a criticism....if it wasn't, you wouldn't need to point that out. When someone feels the need to mention that something is not meant as criticism, it usually is... Serpico, you really have no idea what some of us have to deal with, as women, with on line dating and regular dating in fact. This thread was created to be a safe place to vent our frustrations and share our experiences, and maybe have a laugh or two. It's not a place to be handed some passive aggressive criticism. End of vent.....

This was the point that made him a tool!

As to the question....How far and elaborate will a scammer go? Setting up a company website, company email, photos of directors(yes, plural), and contact info...OMG! The cherry on top you ask???? Oil industry! 😁 I seriously must have scammer target on my forehead!

I'm so sorry CW. Yes he is a tool! In the spring I had an initial phone date with what I and he both thought would be a fabulous match. His messages to me on the dating site were all about how crazy the same we were. My location is posted on the dating site and we are in the same city. The conversation was great, etc., and we really clicked. When he realized I was 16km away, about 10 miles, he said it was too far and it would be hard to see each other! He wanted to talk again and I asked for a coffee to actually meet. He had his kids that weekend and I said no problem, early in the week would be fine. He said, he didn't want to wait that long and by then "The rose would fade." Yup! Another tool!

Hello gang! Nice to see some nice discussion here. I am enjoying reading these. Perhaps I'll have some more material to add soon. I have no problems with all kinds of on line dating discussions on this thread. I think it's good to keep on line dating talk together....vents...laughs....advice...All of it is relevant to what we face with on line dating. All of it is welcome and I wish more was here when I first started dating!

Not a "rule" per se, more a logical conclusion: after all, why would a woman go to the trouble of wearing matching lingerie on a date if there was not some expectation of being seen and appreciated? That is the most ridiculous thing I have every heard! Wearing matching underthings does not mean they are expected to be seen or that someone is open to have sex. It could just be about how it makes the person wearing them feel. I had a Skype date with someone very far away from me not too long ago. I wore nice underthings. Was I expecting him to see them? No! Was I expecting to have sex? No! It just made ME feel good knowing I was wearing them. Goodness! There is so much wrong with those conclusions, I can't even begin to list the reasons here.

I have a friend who made me try Tinder. She has friends who are in relationships that met on that site. Bumble is similar but the woman has to initiate contact after a match. No luck for me there. Had not met anyone in person fron there. They had either ghosted or were scammers. So much fun new terminology for sure Tofinoman. We almost need a new age dating dictionary. I have actually Googled some terms that have not made sense to me. Urban dictionary has been a help at times. 😁 So many things have been messaged to me with sexual references and I've had no clue!

I was with my husband for 26 years, 20 married. He wasn't my first though. Someone mentioned a switch above. That's what it was like for me. It is different for everyone but mine came at around 9 months. I was a mess for 9 months and then realized I wanted to live again. I started a 1 year relationship just after a year out. For me, having someone I trusted for the first time was important. He was very concerned and worried about my reaction. I wasn't sure if I would cry. It was very emotional on many levels but I didn't quite cry. If I had cried, that would have been ok too. It's a normal human reaction to intense emotion. After that, the hormones went bananas and still haven't stopped. I think you will know when it feels right. It needs to feel safe and with the right person but it doesn't necessarily mean in a relationship. It's whatever YOU feel comfortable with.

Sounds like you have a good attitude and making some positive moves in your life Arneal. Way to go girl!

I'm so sorry TS. I hope you can try and see this as the catalyst to move you into something else that you will be more passionate about and that you will be valued for your contributions.

Hello friends! I haven't posted on this thread in a while. I haven't had any material for you! It looks like there are many of you that have kept this thread alive though. Kind of sad in many ways what we have to encounter in the crazy on line dating world. Please don't take these crazies out there, personally. I know it's hard and I have fallen in that trap many, many times. Don't be afraid to tell them what's on your mind. You just may be entertained in their responses! And we all can use some laughs! Perhaps some honesty and prodding might even bring out a different side of them. Stranger things have happened! To the most recent dating posters, Momtojandj, Arneal, Needytoo, Klim, Imissdow, SunshineFL....I am sending the biggest hugs! I want to know how you all are doing...really. You are amazing ladies, don't let anyone make you feel otherwise! 👭

Came across this and thought of this thread.... Copied text in case picture link doesn't work.... “When sex becomes a production or performance, that is when it loses it’s value. Be mutual. Be loud. Be clumsy. Make noises, be quiet, and make a mess. Bite, scratch, push, pull, hold, thrust. Remove pressure from the moment. Love the moment. Embrace it. Enjoy your body; enjoy your partner’s body. Produce sweat, be natural, entice your senses, give into pleasure. Bump heads, miss when you kiss, laugh when it happens. Speak words, speak with your body, speak to their soul. Touch their skin, kiss their goosebumps and play with their hair. Scream, beg, whimper, sigh, let your toes curl, lose yourself. Chase your breath; keep the lights on, watch their eyes when they explode. Forget worrying about extra skin, sizes of parts and things that are meaningless. Save the expectations, take each second as it comes. Smear your make up, mess up your hair, rid your masculinity, and lose your ego. Detonate together, collapse together, and melt into each other.” —Corissa Marie

My life has been crazy busy this month. Work, life, kids, my mother....physically and emotionally draining. Then this week... My niece gave birth to a beautiful baby boy on Thursday. We did not know what the gender would be ahead of time. Some of the thngs I bought for her when we visited in the hospital, were with my DH in mind. A blue piggy bank for example...he loved and collected piggy banks. He was such a family person. He would have been beaming ear to ear had he been there to see her baby. We learned when we got there that the baby's middle name was my DH's...I did not expect that, and it really hit hard. Last weekend my DH's coworker was killed in a motorcycle accident. The funeral was yesterday. I felt this strong need to be there, in many ways more for his widow... I had met her years ago at a company awards dinner. My DH was killed on the job. She told me I was one of the first things she thought about when she was told about her husband. I hope I can be a source of support for her in some way. As I was sitting there, I watched the same men were lining up to pay their respects to her, that were lined up to pay their respects to me almost 4 years ago. I had not really thought about it, but it hit me hard. These same men, were so happy to see me, offering their hugs and thoughts of support and good wishes for me and my kids. I felt such a feeling of having a posse around me, like they would do anything for us that we needed. They already have done and supported us in so many ways since the accident. I guess having them there, all together as a group, brought everything back to me. It was so hard to leave, as someone else would spot me, when i tried to head home...it would start again. When I finally walked off, it was a very surreal moment, like I wanted to run back and hug them all again, and at the same time like I also felt ok to keep walking.

I am so, so sorry...

Good luck! :-)

Same here...

I'm so very sorry....

Congratulations and I wish you both lifelong happiness!

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I am so sorry you are hurting so much right now... You are an amazing woman, please never forget that. Vent, yell, scream, let it out...It's completely ok. He knows how good you are and that is why he was with you. Just because he has issues letting go of his ex, is no reflection on you. It is his issue, and his issue alone. Yes, it hurts and sucks, it is not what you hoped for. I try to believe that people come into our lives for a reason. They teach us things about ourselves and about what is good and bad in our world. You have learned that you can love again and let yourself be loved. That is a huge lesson after what we have been through. You have learned what you can accept and not accept in a relationship. You have learned that you can move beyond the sadness. And you will again, I have no doubt. You can take all this forward and know you are strong and amazing and the right man will cherish all of you, as you need hIm too. He just wasn't this man, and that is ok. Vent away as much as you need...Sending you huge hugs.

Thank you for the laughs SunshineFL! 😂