donswife

this sounds so tough and its hard enough dealing with your own grief and trying to not become bitter even tougher when you have to try and stay sane with dealing with your mom being around all the negativity must be exhausting ,let alone stressful Like trying said I was able to distance myself with a few negative people but they weren't my mom either do you think you and your sister could go to a therapist I find the one I have has very practical advise on how to deal with family

I am a little over the 9 month time and I agree its so hard I think the true reality is setting in and like others have said you are exhausted with the just hanging in there day to day people have moved on and expect or hope you are fine and stop asking how you are or of you need anything plus they stop talking about him/her that part is the most heartbreaking as it seems when people stop saying their Name or share a memory it as if they didn't really exist and keeping their memory alive is becoming harder and harder know your are not alone and hope it helps a little

I lived on fast food ..Mcdonalds or prepackaged food I find it so hard to think of making meals when you are not really hungry but you know you need to eat plus going to the grocery store is still hard I used to love to cook and Don loved to eat its amazing how switching from cooking for two to cooking for one is so different

that should work for me what time ?

it looks like beutiful place loved the idea of riding your bike everywhere soon after don died I rented a place on the beach in the winter not sure if ts considered alone , I had my dog so lots of walks on the beach I brought a jigsaw puzzle for the nights sounds kinda crazy but it did occupy my time wasn't brave enough to eat out so brought take out back in

OK I am going to my nephew's wedding (who I adore) but my god I am not looking forward to it and feel so bitter My family has been great and all my cousins etc but just can't seem to get that smile on my face or in my heart not quite sure where this is all coming from , well maybe I do but not sure how to put on my game face wish me luck and a new perspective by saturday

both dates work for me

I am so sorry for your recent losses of your fil and dad when your emotionsl reserves are already low its exhausting I hope things go well at the vets with your dog and so glad you have your sister there for support take care

I don't think it was a temper tantrum , just the reality that this is all so hard 'and exhausting I am so glad you vented here and I hope just getting some of this out can be a little bit of help again with you on "used to be an optimist " hard to keep that going big hug to you

hold on always listen be genuine have hope

so far the only weekend I couldn't do is sept 13 (or just that day ) having Jack and jill party in my backyard for my neice but any other time would work

Yes, realizing that a family is about to experience what we all went through is paralyzing you start to feel everything that happened to you and your family at that moment and whats to come for them Take some much needed deep breaths and breaks from work hopefully your half way done with work and can go home soon take care

happy anniversary , sorry you felt even more alone with out anyone to acknowledge the day it must have been hard enough just trying to get through the day my first anniversary is coming up end of this month and I am dreading it

shoot that's the weekend of my nephews wedding in gloucester sorry Ill miss the lunch

I don't think there is anything wrong at all speaking the truth about him or your marriage There is nothing left to hide and hopefully this will be freeing for you the letter you write is all you and for you write it when you are ready

would love to , depending on date

let me know when you find a date and time I am in if not one of my nephews wedding weekends

yes I can relate to this so much I notices even when I am just driving around and see older couples I am instanly angry just because it seems unfair that I won't ever have that and the "couple" friends I have like you Donna (your family) do seem to have no problem forgetting I still exist Not sure if I would even go to these events but nice to be asked also friends who are in really unhappy marriages, bother me , not a jealousy thing more like if you don't truly love each other just get it divorced because when you have had the love of your life taken you could never imagine settling for anything else

oh this is such hard topic for me also just walking my dog in the park and you get to chatting with people and somehow always the question of are you married comes up argg its so hard to figure out what to say my husband died 8 months ago is a quick way to stop a lovely walk for all of us but i usually just say it, as gently as I can (for me and them) I have had some wonderful responses but some days I just want to be a person walking a dog if you every find that widow manual I will buy a copy

looking forward to radio hell being back on air much needed and missed

I can understand why these dreams can be unsettling waking up and realizing you have mourn all over again So far I am lucky and when I get to dream about Don it's still a comfort I hope it stays that way but it may not One of the things I do like is he appears like he did when we were dating , first Married gorgeous wavy hair and a moustache ,I am hoping that means we get to pick our "look" when we leave this part of life

what an awful day had to have been emotionally draining for you all so sorry

hugs to you ,Donna I can imagine the great memories you had its so hard to lose a part of your life with Mick and even harder being the one who has to make this decision , one you wouldn't have had to make if he was still here we only had one of those what we called "white trash walmart pools " but my don took it seriously with chemicals and testing strips like it was an Olympic size pool so funny as the pool was in our driveway(hence the white trash part) and was tiny

I love that idea of being buried in it should go take a look at it and bring it home (its at my mom's house)

I too hope it goes well and It seems like it is something you need to do I seem to find I always regret not doing something more then doing it it may not give you the answers you want but just being in the room with someone that knew your wife so well could be a comfort