donswife

like it was said before ...Wow I bet releasing these people will be a good thing for you keeping touch with your sister is great surrounding yourself with people who really care is always the best I give you huge credit for first of all staying through that dinner and not using any foul language or angry words to your family

hugs to you both take care

so true ...the nothing part was the best part

I do remember around that time also having a new routine down it seemed like it was ok being home without him , not that I didn't miss him Pulling in the drive way and not being reminded they he won't be inside and not falling apart about that Like jlp said maybe if it didn't start to feel this way we wouldn't survive Might warn you as I am a month or two ahead of you but hitting the "year" mark has hit me pretty hard and brought back some of the old feelings back

I am so sorry your feeling this way and wish we could all wake up from the nightmare especially hard the days you feel it deep in your heart hugs to you today take care

" the year "is coming up for me next weekend and it just so happens I am going to a bago the night before the timing just happened so I am taken advantage of it I decided to make a weekend out of it , It's also a place where Don and I had never really had a connection with so a little bit of mini-vacation and needing not to be home and reliving that time I am sure you will do what the best for you and go knowing you will feel however you feel , trying to reassure yourself that you are still standing even if you buckle at the knees at times that is what I will be trying to tell myself anyway

oh god yes , some times I think I shouldn't be driving because I am not paying attention plus add the fact I have become someone who now has road rage great combo !

I am dealing with the same problem the "year" is next sunday ...good thing is a bago is planned for dinner that Saturday So I am going to that (the timing just seemed perfect ) I decided to make a weekend out of it and stay in that area overnight that way I am not home and like you said thinking about this time last year I think it would be a good idea for you to take a vacation , change of scenery could help

I don't have any children so I can't help you with what must be such a hard question from your daughter I just wanted to let you know that I am so sorry about you having to be here but I am glad you found this site , please remember to breathe I noticed at times I literally was holding my breath until I read here about remembering to breathe Take care of yourself and sending hugs your way

Lmsmdm ...love that but I noticed for at least a full day that was in my head and who doesn't love the muppets

It was the first time in 27 years that My Don isn't here to celebrate his birthday with me Since Don was little he always had the same birthday cake spice cake with peanut butter frosting , yup I know sounds odd but it is good I made it because to not have that smell in my house today would destroy me My don had a killer sweet tooth, he could eat a pie or cake in one sitting so I would make cupcakes instead he would always bring the leftovers to work so I decided to do the same The wonderful guys at the DPW said they want me to do this every year because they miss him and me what was a day of tears ended up being as good as it could be

Fuck that tomorrow would be his birthday fuck that this is the first time in 27 years that I will not have him here to celebrate Fuck that this time last year we were on vacation , one of the best ones we ever had fuck that I am still baking his birthday cake tonight because if I didn't it would break my heart

I have been feeling that scream in my heart all this week ...don's birthday in a few days then ..10 days later ...gone i so wish we didn't have this sound in our hearts and ears take care

I am so, so sorry I also last my husband suddenly and had to make a few calls my sister took over family calls and the friends who I was closes to, I ask to let others know if you have to make a few calls take a deep breath and you will break down I will say the shock on the other end makes the calls very short so don't be surprised at that take care

sorry to hear about your grandmother and sorry that is bringing up so many sad feelings and thoughts hope playing the pianio went well today and was a good distraction take care

sending hugs your way it is so hard when the shock is starting to wear off and little bits of reality creep in I wish it could be easier take care

I agree its like a huge part of our lives never happened the worsted part is it is almost confirmed when asked if we are married because there is no check box for I lost the love of my life and his name was Don instead it married or not married nothing about this doesn't suck

wonderful news !

I am in

we still on for Portsmouth ? might be staying overnight to meet up the next day with friends in portland Maine

I also see my don everywhere , I have also will admit I followed for a bit or watched that person just so for a few seconds wishing it could be him but of course it isn't one guy was the same build , look and I was so tempted Just to ask for a hug but I didn't I am sorry you didn't got to see peter and say goodbye when he died makes it seem more real but still doesn't stop the forever looking

walking the dog was a huge step that you actually felt moments that didn't make you sad but happy for the life you had is wonderful the idea of star wars and frozen pizza sounded like the perfect way to celebrate him take care and so glad you found this place to talk about all you are going through

I am so sorry and this can be so overwhelming it stops us from moving forward or at all I don't have kids but even Just me having to help take care of my Mom (staying two nights a week ) is exhausting, mentally and physicially I swear I truly haven't had real time to grieve for Don and that is making me really angry I am sure the same is true for you so I understand a bit where you are coming from and I wish I could make it better for you take care of yourself if you can

I can totally relate to your post and especially the part where the person who would help you the most isn't here and how exhausting it is to try and be happy hugs take care

I have had a few weird things like that happen , mostly electrical like light bulbs that I thought were burnt out then a few days later they comeback on I have whote lights on a bridge in the back yard and half were off the other day so I thought crap gotta get on a ladder , buy new lights etc then last night they were back on