donswife

-Eating nothing but take out or chicken tenders , for some reason I am eating like a 15 year old stoner not a vegtable in site -staying in my old bedroom , we had just finished our new bedroom before he died and it has a sad looking futon in it right now Just cant seem to make the move ...makes it more real -throwing out tons of good food that I intended to eat or was given

thanks so much for all the advise. I will definitely put alarm stickers around and so funny I also have a baseball bat by my bed I love the idea hikermom had about car keys with car alarm at the ready. All such great responses and thanks for the pm suggestions also will also say just knowing you all have the same thoughts and concerns is such a comfort

So sorry to hear about your dog and so sorry it was something you had to make a decision about Hard thing to do but the best for the dog.

Hi Just wanted to know what people have done to secure their houses after their husband passed I have just recently felt a bit insecure , mostly because I heard a loud noise downstairs the other night Don't worry just the cat knocking something over.....but then the feeling came over me I don't have my big strong husband beside me to send down to find out what that noise was and that awful realization came over me So wasn't sure if any good tips out there . I do have a dog but she's a black lab and wouldn't hurt a flea

Spring is really a tough one. My husband was an amazing gardener this is my first one with out him He has made our backyard a wonderful sanctuary, He called gardening his zen and it showed in all his work You would never think by seeing him that he loved to garden (Shaved head ,Tattoos and goatee) He would always say "this is all for you" so Its a little bittersweet to start seeing his gardens starting to wake up without him here

so sorry , i know it will be a hard day. pets are the best at listening to us and being our best friends sending hugs your way

I also say My husband passed away because that way I can still say the word husband my worst fear is that he fades away and the world forgets about him with each day I still don't think I have ever been able to say the widow word. It just came to me that maybe that is how I am described to other people the image I see when I hear that word is a 90 year old women who got to have a long life with her husband I did realize I was in this widow world when calling the health insurance company after and when asked are you married I said yes (habit of course) and she replied after a few clicks on her computer keyboard Says here your husband passed away so No you are no longer considered Married ....Bam right in the gut

wish there was something to say to help you with all the pain I hope just knowing we are here and you were able to write how you feel helps, if even just a little bit take care

What a great topic. my friends and family have had some many "signs" from my Don that we have all started to write them down. Right after he died we were all around getting pictures together and being in auto pilot I was just numb but getting things done as my sister was trying to write something for his service I was opening his wallet and a metallic pocket angel fell out he had given them to all my family years before , made us all smile During his service I was going to play a Neil young Cd , harvest moon but in that CD case was another Neil Young Cd it was to late to change The few minutes as people settle in and before anyone speaks the only thing we all heard was "on my way home" by Neill young and I heard "can you feel me now because I love you " and that repeats at least three times could not be a stronger sign from him and I then felt him the entire time, that day (and still now ) I have a lot more but this was a start thanks again for starting this , It brought back such good feelings of him

I am so glad for this link. I thought I was just in a world of denial not being able to do much with his things. I gave family and friends some of his Fly's that he tyed but that's about all I can part with right now He was an artist in that department, but his fly tying room is untouched. I even have his slippers by the door just like when he was here. I am sure like all of you when the time is right I will feel it and not to rush things

So sorry you had such a tough day. Its so hard to not have the one person who would not only listen but try and help fix the rough day or just give you a bear hug ...I miss the bear hugs I get the same feeling when I am pulling in the driveway and that damn reality hits me right in the gut I hope just reaching out and having us here helps, if even just a little bit

Great Topic ...sorry we need it I hate that I went on a vacation with sister's and nieces to florida ,(a get away for me to get my mind off things:) and not one person asked so how you doing I hate that they talked about how sad it will be to send their kids off to college and how lonely ...really!! I hate I had no one to call at home to rant about them ,He was always my calm in these emotional family storms I hate that when I came home at 1 am the heat had stopped working Most of all I hate that my don wasnt here waiting for me to come home

HI I will say I still feel the full on emotions so not even close to the numbness that people talk about Its a mild anti depressant so not sure if that makes a difference and I had never been on them before I think it mostly helped me get out of bed every day so It did help that way just keep your options open and ask more questions till you feel comfortable about it take care

HI I was put on wellbutrin soon after my husband died. My doctors all agreed (oncologist and grief counselor) A few of my other famly members have been on it and they have noticed it helps. Hard to tell what the difference would be with out it but I have been able to be pretty functional and maybe that is a piece of it. Just make sure its something you want to do as you cant just stop taking them , you have to taper down

HI I also didn't cry much the first couple of months. I was in shock and in auto pilot mode Plus making sure the funeral was arranged and I was surrounded by lots of friends and family I really didn't feel as if my don was gone , call it denial or I like to think of it as him helping me through this I felt him all around and I still do ...a little more glimpses of reality set in now and that is when the tears flow Don't ever feel bad about how you feel or how you are reacting to the loss of your wife, its your loss and only yours to feel

Fuck still getting mail and magazines in his name and not being strong enough to change it Fuck going to the grocery store and breaking down Fuck just when you are getting through the day something always shows up to kick you in the gut Fuck the town census where I had to put D after his name Fuck that he would get the biggest kick out of me using the "f" word so many times

I had this also for 27 years . we knew each other so well and the worst part is he would be the one comforting me the best with this pain(only been 5 months) I am so sorry about your accident and can t even imagine how hard it is for you with the physical pain and anger towards the reckless person that caused the accident and missing your best friend and husband who also would have been the first person to help you through this ,makes it that much harder . take care and hope today is a little better

HI sandy I am so sorry for you losing your husband. I remember the first couple of months after my don died. I didn't really cry much. I was definitely in shock mode. I also felt that he really wasn't gone and I could feel and see him everywhere. Like he was helping through this awful process. I think you lost your husband suddenly(as did I ) so its so hard to really believe they are gone. I am still holding on with both hands the denial part and its been almost 5 months for me. Take care and don't doubt what you are feeling or question why you are feeling it

Its so true this brain dead part. I was driving to a close friends house , something I had done tons of times and got lost took me a bit to get back on the right track . Losing keys that are really right where I put them just didnt see them there two seconds before. so you are not alone at all and yes list have become my new best friend (when I remember to bring them

HI I am here and have been able to post on a few sites already. I am a little over 4 months since I became a "widow" I had been in waiting for approval on the the other board so I am so glad to get on this one. It has been a life saver at times even just to read the posts to know I am not alone in this horrible journey the only question I have is how do I do a profile picture ?

I am also about 4 months since my Don passed away. I catch myself waiting for his call around 3 when he was getting out of work and I have to remind myself he wont be calling. I agree the silence is so hard so I have a TV or radio going all the time I also yell out that I want my old life back and I want him back here. I do agree this site had helped me immensely Spring is going to be so hard as he was the one who did all the planting etc so to see his gardens start to bloom without him will be heartbreaking

I am so glad you started this thread. My Don died a week after his 51 birthday. We had just days before gotten back from a vacation he had planned (which never has happened before Our Favorite type of vacation of just driving with very little plans but a few destinations. So it was a wonderful time which I cherish now more then ever. The day it happened was just another day We had plans to go to a friends housewarming party, we got there and don didn't feel great . said it was just indigestion but not to make a big deal about it. little bit later he wanted to have us pop to the store to get rolaids. On the way to the store (which was also the way to the hospital) He told me to slow down and don't panic , it was no big deal, I ran into the store and when I got out ,he was in the passenger seat, eyes open and no reaction...I could tell "it" had happened and he had a heart attack the store called 911 for me as I did chest compression, felt like hours before they got there but must have been minutes....I drove behind the ambulance as they were working on him. I got into the hospital and they put me on the quiet room..knew what that meant right away but in my heart I knew anyway....a compassionate nurse came in and said I shouldn't be alone and wanted to let me in the room they were working on don in. Think it was the Doctors and everyone else way of knowing they tried everything to save him , In a way I was glad I was by his side , like always , to hold his hand.

@marian1953 so true I see My Don everywhere. Even my friends say they have to double take every once in awhile because they see him or a truck just like his etc. Its so nice to have a place with people who have gone through this intense sadness and be able to talk ,

hi I am new to this group . I had discovered ywbb a month after my husband died but was waiting to get approved so I am so glad I found this post. I was able to read the post and it did give me much comfort. My husband Don died suddenly of a heart attack a week after his 51 birthday. I was with him . as always . We have been together for 27 years ,married 24. He died at the end of october and I still find in hard. I miss him , He was an amazing man and we had a great life so not sure what the next step is

HI I am very new to ywbb but this section struck so close to me. My don and I were together 27 years and we never had kids (by choice) we have tons of nieces and nephews and to tell the truth we liked each other to much to have our own kids:)I totally understand the us time we had , just the two of us at home was my favorite times. I mostly miss our sundays of just working on the house or me cooking all day and him puttering. I miss the every day phone calls when he was leaving work and letting me know he was heading home.Its only been been 5 months since he passed but I still cant seem to grasp that he is gone.