donswife

I will be thinking about you today I also lost my don suddenly , was in a state of shock for such a long time today will be tough but like it was said before you can do this and if you can't that is ok also there is no right way to grieve, just your way Hope by the time you are reading this you are home and its over and you will be able to take the dogs on a much needed long quiet walk

I slept ...much needed sleep , fighting a cold funny thing is I never realized that don must have been the person who always set the clocks at this time my god , why do we have so many clocks in our home I walk into every room and I have to reset them and not going to lie makes me sad this was one of those silent things he just did all these years without me thinking twice about it

now that you have made the decision I hope it helps it is such a hard day and you know the feelings of sadness creep in but with such a busy day of the party and flying in and out, maybe it will be a good distraction just bring ear phones and tissue (and attivan:) for the plane ride home

not rambling at all just real truth, which is what I see in all your post yes those tears that flow which have a mind and broken heart of their own , such different tears like ones I have never felt before like everyone has mentioned you are an inspiration to us all take care

that was perfectly written

little things we did without saying a word I was at my nephews wedding and it struck me that when the salad came that when my Don was here I would without hesitation put my red onion on his plate and he would put his cucumbers on mine it made me think of all the little things we did without having to say anything Like the nod across the room saying it is time to go the smile or quiet laughter when one of our private jokes was out there and only we knew what it meant the rolling eyes ,that only we saw, at a pain in the ass relative at the holidays the fixing of an outfit that was either wrinkled or a bit of the tag was hanging out being able to order what you knew they wanted at a restaurant if they were running late their ability to know exactly what we needed when times were at the lowest without us having to say a word I miss this

My don also died of a heart attack just over a year ago one minute I am talking to him, the next minute he was gone I remember every second of it I also remember saying out loud to who ever asked, the minute by minute way it happened looking back I think it was my way of processing what had happened almost to reassure myself that nothing would have changed this awful thing that happened I did find this forum and at times it saved my life and mind so keep posting and never be afraid to share so sorry you have to be a part of this but glad you have a place to go to

ok that made me laugh

It proves to me that our bodies and mind seem to just make us stop in our tracks and grieve even if we think we got this handled I hope ,for you ,the bad day of darkness led to following days of getting better take care

Just like Justin said you do what you want , when you want you just try and get through the day as well as you can I had someone spread some of my dons ashes in alsaka (where he loved to fly fish) but I still have the rest and when I am ready will spread them I am sorry you lost your wife Jo

yes you will be sad and the tears have have a mind of their own I am so sorry you don't have your husband with you to have the lovely card with his handwriting and beautiful message that he wrote is such a great gift take care

I keep looking online for a house far away on a lake and in my head make plans to pack up and just go ......

I will admit I so hit the like button because sometimes I don't have any more to add to that particular statement at the begining I didn't have my own words to say so I just wanted that person to know what they had said had helped and touched me

yes the "I am fine" is exhausting what you wrote I can actually feel and I wish it could be different just know we are here take care

I am on mild antidepressant suggested by my doctor who is also a family friend I do also have a grief counselor which is a great part of the process I haven't had many bad side effects besides a headache the first couple of weeks I have no idea if it has helped but I do get up everyday and function so I have no idea if I would have dipped into a depression if I didn't have this medication I also do feel deep emotions and still get sad/angry etc so hasn't turned me into a robot no sure of this helped at all but like everyone has said it really depends on the person and the medication given

me too, I still sleep on his side of the bed because I hate the idea of no one being in that space

Fuck that I have already had to put the heat on and I forget how to work the timer thingy on the thermostat Fuck that it is now getting dark so early fuck that I will have to start getting everything ready for the winter which I am terrified is coming Fuck that I am so fucking grouchy lately , I don't even like hanging out with myself sometimes

I echo every word you wrote ! wishing both of us easier days

I am so sorry about losing your lovely wife but I am glad you were able to find this site I hope it helps to know we are here for you to talk to take care

Should work for me

Jess. So sorry the sadness crept in and made it such a challenging day for you It's so confusing how the sadness finds us no matter what we do to avoid it Hope better days followed

I hope you had good dreams instead of nightmares or no sleep at all Take care

I am so sorry , take care

yes it should have been ! Its a great picture

great ! looking forward to it see you there