donswife

jess I also see a grief counselor and have awhile to go before the years up I hope I feel the same way when its time to stop they are such good help with figuring out what we need to help us sometimes she just says the right thing and I start bawling , one of the few people I can just totally break down with I also find your post most helpful so thank you for that

So sorry about you losing your Jack I am glad you find your way here this can be such a help with people who unfortunately understand Some of the best advise I got was here and I think that's what saved me for losing my mind please reach out as much a you want and take one minute and a time and remember to breathe take care

Hi sounds like such a sweet adventure and even with the moments of sadness missing your copilot and love, John Montana was one of don and I favorite trips Take a deep "big sky" breath of fresh air for me made you believe in the wonder of the world in the beautiful landscapes My don was a huge fly fisherman so to be able to cast in the gorgeous waters in Montana was a dream come true he also got to go salmon fishing in Alaska Can't wait to here more about you trip take care and have safe travels

Hi Deb so sorry you have to be in this forum its so hard to be out there and not have the support of people who have been on this awful journey Your head must be spinning as your heart is breaking and yet we still have to do the day to day things please come on here as much as you need , it helped me tremendously and still does Take care

I am so glad you had a good day and seemed like you honored your wife in a wonderful way it was nice to hear Take care

oh I so could have written this myself I can't believe the amount of things I have to get done I go into Manic phase then just when I want to just close my eyes and go to sleep , wide awake not sure if we are teetering on the brink of a nervous breakdown just wanted to let you know your not alone in this

oh I am sorry you had to see that and also for their families wish I had more to say

I also went to week later fireworks we have gone every year for about 4 years have great friends over and their kids was a little rough as this was the first time with out My don reminded me of last year when he taught the kids how to make the perfect toasted marshmallows for their s'mores so I smoked a cigar in his honor after everyone left my favorite times with him sitting in the back yard in the quiet having a drink after parties

Oh those dreams can be a comfort for a bit then like you said the reality comes back at you like a ton of bricks I can only say i understand a little bit and wish with all my heart I had some thing to say to make it easier take care

You might not have lost the apartment talk to the landlord and I bet if you bring a cashiers check that would satisfy them just a stressful time but hopefully it will work out for you good luck

such great advise thanks for bringing up the subject I will be spreading don's ashes next fall (would've have been our 25 th anniversary) but his friends that went with him to Alaska to go fly fishing are going again this sept and they want to bring some of his ashes to spread ...love that idea hope all goes well for you with spreading your Brenda's ashes

we were always working/washing or waxing the truck back in the day for car shows I so miss that , I have visitation rights to the truck I sold and the guy will be at cruise nights near by don was a Chevy Man , but we have a ford truck to haul stuff in i agree in a month, if its still for sale ,you should think about getting it just saying we deserve any happiness we can grab , plus sounds like a cool car

I get the sentimental value of a dream car and the fact that the man should be here to tell you its OK to want it what kind of car is it ? can you go for a test drive (just for fun ) take it out and zip around My don was a auto body man for 20 years so totally get it Just had to sell his show truck but I sold it to someone , like you , who had this kind of truck on their bucket list felt good to send it to its new home

I am so sorry about your phone , i think there are places that can fix the screens I saved two voice mails don left me on my phone but figured out away to put them on my computer I don't like today either Don and I used to have a big cookout this weekend every year, one of my favorite time of these cookouts was him and I , after everyone left , just sitting and having a drink and talking about the day but no cookout this year .... first 4th with out him so I to would love to pull the covers over my head and just let the day go away take care

Yes, such a crappy thing to do so strange that they would prefer their own comfort over just caring about your family It does make you really see your true friends but doesnt help with the hurting especially hard when it hurt your kids

I was having a really hard time sleeping ...looking at my clock it said 3 am my cat Edith , not known for ever being a cuddlier, came in and slept tucked in my arms was very brave of her as my black lab was cuddling on the other side but black lab just lifted her head and let Edith stay there

the unexpected triggers , hate them sorry it happened to you for me I was assembling a big fan today just the fact that I needed one more person just to hold it so I could screw in a part brought me to tears plus Don would've had that sucker put together in seconds, took me about an hour

makes total sense

i just started wearing his boxers for Pajama's I am sure it looks odd but they are so comfy glad to hear I am not the only one

@Virgo- I to have no regrets either with the life we had , even though don died suddenly we had just gotten back the week before on one of our best trips just driving around and having no plans , we stopped at a cabin in upstate new york for 2 days we just sat on the porch and talked /laughed for hours ....funny we kept saying how much fun we have together doing absolutely nothing so I go there in my head when I feel the lowest , kinda like maybe I did get that little extra time to savor

birthdays are really hard , i think mostly because they were the ones that knew us best and knew what we really wanted on our birthdays which was being with them hope in a small way your day got better if possible

oh yes would savor every second, just doesn't seem to get any easier hugs

I know it felt like everything broke after Don died and it escalates the stress just try and take a breath and I think you are doing really well having to get Everything done can be exhausting especially when you are used to having chuck by your side to help and take care of all of this Yes make a list and see who can help , your church would be a wonderful place to ask I bet someone would be more than happy to help fix the lawnmower /dryer Maybe even have ideas about income , it was really hard for me to ask but when I did everyone was glad to It made them feel like they were doing what don/chuck would have done for them take care and again so sorry you have to be in this position to begin with PS....i still need ativan once in awhile and grocery stores and one of the triggers

sending Hugs your way , glad you were able to share how hard this has been recently take care

so agree and even worse then "you're so strong -dont know how you do it " is "I could never go through this" or even better "did you lose weight , you look good " WTF ! so we need to start kick boxing to give instant response to these comments