Stevesbabyness

Oh, Kim...I do understand, too, and my heart so hurts for you. I met my husband in 2009, we married in 2011 and in 2013 I lost him to a tragic accident. When the doctors told us the situation in the hospital, I emitted what I've only been able to term "some animalistic noise that I didn't realise humans could make". He was 34, I was 40. It's hard, and it's awful. And at two months, you are still in those awful early days of disbelief and incredible sadness. As perfectly stated above, right now the focus is on survival and "bearing the unbearable". Remember to breathe, and come here often; we all understand. Big hugs to you, hon. It never heals, but it hurts less through time.

Someone just told me this past week that a LOT of guys find the older woman thing hot. It's a total trend these days, y'know. Meh, I say go out for a drink and test the waters...(winks)

You are exactly where you're meant to be. Congrats on the new place. Enjoy it all!

Oh, Maureen - I'm so sorry that you're feeling that...that feeling that we know so well--and you know much too well. Thank you for sharing such a lovely picture; the happiness shines through. Which makes it so easy to understand the extreme degree of anger and sadness. You've helped so many of us. Just know that across the globe, we are here for you in return. Big hugs.

Not sure this is helpful to others, but I kinda liked it... The process of grieving by the DailyOm -- "Grief can arise from many life situations, but know it is not a permanent state of being." I've been up and down a lot lately (today is the two year sadiversary), and somehow this spoke to me.

Hugs. What a lovely wedding pic. Pure happiness.

Two years out and am still googling witchcraft spells, curses and black magic to use on my monster shit-law. I'm still angry with DH for dying in such a ridiculously random way. I drink wayyyy much more than I ought to. But I rationalise it as "being social", as I don't drink alone. That's ok, right? Rightttttt?

Oh, DarkRose... Sending you the biggest of hugs. My husband died in an accident, too, and I can understand and recall the anxiety, the shortness of breath, the pain of even being awake and the fear to not be. The forum was the most supportive, helpful, kind environment I had to get me through those darkest of days. Spend as much time as is helpful here; there's always someone who understands and who hears you. Do whatever you need to do to survive. I can even remember lovingly touching Steve's shoes when I fell down on the floor in utter distress one dark afternoon. It may have sounded odd to some (non wid) people, but I know everyone here could understand. Consider this the support you may not feel you have elsewhere. As Maureen rightly points out, drink water, keep breathing, sleep when you can. The fog will life. Hugs.

This. This was exactly the thread I needed to see today. It's been two years today that Steve had his accident, resulting in his death two days later. I've dealt with lawyers' letters and high court lawsuits this entire time. (His parents demanded money less than three weeks after his death which they'd given him for the deposit on our flat seven years earlier--before I ever lived in the country, much less knew him.) I thought I was coming out of it until today, when the monster shit-law has demanded double in costs, and I fell apart this afternoon. Thank you for the reminder that I will still be able to design my garden...sometime...hopefully soon. Big hugs to my fella widdas dealing with shit-laws...

I'm not sure if I'll ever know. I still feel massive guilt (think it's, as was said above, guilt from 'What would everyone say?' rather than what I think I know, though). I met new guy early on (about eight months out) and within three months he moved in. I think most everyone around me figured it to be a loneliness thing -- which perhaps it may have been. It's changed, and in line with the 'apples to oranges', it feels a very different connection than I had with LH who was absolutely my soul mate. The more I get to know new guy, the more I understand him, and thus, the more I love him and want to be with him. I believe LH would want me to find love. I believe he knows how very much I had lost myself through the dark times (both whilst he was alive with his drinking and emotional abuse and then after his death). As I keep saying to myself, I'm not gone. We've only one go 'round on this big blue marble, and I must find some semblance of happiness for as long as I'm here...