widowat33

Thinking of you. I believe he lasted that night because you weren't ready to say goodbye too, but not because you didn't have the courage to do it..trust me from reading your posts you certainly don't lack courage. I can't even imagine the strength you have! I don't think we are ever ready to say goodbye, but not because we aren't strong, but because we love them so much. At my dh's funeral in my speech I said that I would never say goodbye, just see you later. Sending you hugs!

Thanks ladies. Just been a tough couple of days, then I come home to the reports...feeling a little down, but I know it will get better! Just a little setback, one of many so far and I'm sure it won't be the last one! Thanks for the hugs and sending hugs back

Finally received the coroners report, toxicology and autopsy from my dh accident. Feeling so many different emotions right now.. Relief that it sounds like it was instant. Sad because it is so detailed, and devastating to read. It feels so final now. I've been waiting for eight months on these papers to finalize some of the estate, you would think I would be feeling relief to have that part over, but I don't. I don't even know how I feel. For awhile I was feeling a little bit better, but now it's like I'm back to that place I was at months ago, the despair and sadness consuming me. Since reading the description of what they believed happened regarding his accident, I just keep picturing it in my mind and it's heartbreaking. To top this off, tomorrow will be eight months. I'm amazed that it's been that long, and also amazed that it hasn't been longer...

My youngest is on his third set of tubes, the first two fell out prematurely. He had chronic ear infections and his hearing was at 50%. This last set has stayed in almost two years, and have improved his hearing. However we still struggle with ear infections on almost a monthly basis. So for him they have improved hearing but not the infections.

He was my first love, and that love will live on forever.. We had been together for 14 and 1/2 years, married almost 11 years. We have two boys, oldest is now 12 youngest will be 10 in a month. Dh worked away, on a two week rotation. His last shift they asked him to work overtime, so he had been gone for three weeks. He was on his way home to us.. I knew something was wrong, he always called when he got to certain towns on his drive home and I hadn't heard from him in a couple hours.. I still have two messages saved on my answering machine from him that day, July 10 2014. I was waiting outside at 3 am when the police pulled into my driveway to give me the news. He had an accident, had left the road and rolled his truck down a ravine into the river below. I found YWBB a few weeks after he passed away, and even just reading that others are struggling with similar issues has helped me so much. I started college less than two months after he died, I'm now halfway through my second semester. I am starting to find myself, to learn who I am, because I didn't only lose him that day I also lost part of my own identity.