Start of school and I'm so frustrated!!

[trying2breathe]

I am beyond frustrated with 16 y/o DD's attitude towards school so far.  Her junior year of HS started this week, so far she's ignoring assignments and is completely scattered in getting organized.  This is unusual behavior for her, her inability to organize AT ALL is completely new.  Twice this week I had to wake her up - she slept through her alarm. 

 

She had 3 books for summer reading, and refused to start reading any of them until 5 days before school started.  She completed one book, and half of another. 

 

She wants to get her driver's license, and a car soon.  I don't feel like I can let that happen until she's more responsible.    AAARRGGGH!! 

 

Any suggestions on how to deal with this?  I'm ready to start my Xanax prescription again ......     

[MissinGrizz]

Perhaps make her earn electronics ( phone, computer, etc). Keep them until all work is done and if she over sleeps she also loses them . If she says she needs them for school, use is only at kitchen table. She'll hate you, but junior year is an important one.

[Virgo]

My oldest is also 16 and a junior. She sounds like she is the other extreme. Stresses out about grades! This is just our second week of school. She was texting me today worrying about failing her pre-cal class. She was seriously considering dropping it...already! She wants to graduate with the honors diploma. I told her to just give it a couple of weeks. Sure enough when she got home today she said she understand the homework that her teacher assigned.

 

When my daughter is slow to rise in the morning I remind her that she needs to go to bed earlier. I think at their age they need to adjust their sleep to their schedule. If they don't get enough sleep then they'll just have to suffer the consequences. It was their choice to stay up to late. I do have her turn off all of her electronics at 10. Then I suggest she be in bed around 11. It doesn't always happen.

 

She has her permit. She's actually out driving right now with my father in-law. I'm not ready for her to drive!!  She's doing great, but I'm just not ready to let my baby out into the world. We went around yesterday getting job applications for local businesses because she wants to get a job.

 

It's definitely more challenging to discipline them as teens. I agree with MissinGrizz. I would say figure out what her 'motivator' is. Does she like to watch TV? Video games? Phone? Take that item away until she gets her homework done.

 

I took my 13yo daughter's iPod away last night. She thinks that thing is HER LIFE. So dramatic! lol She cleaned her room, did her homework, and got her shower before she got it back. She lost it because I told her to take care of her lunch bag and clean up all of her stuff by the front door before she got on it. The first thing she did was grab her iPod. Bad move!

[MamaZ]

My daughter has drug me through hell with disorganization, not turning work in, and failing grades. She got all As on tests and high enough scores on her SAT and ACT to win national recognition, yet had enough homework zeros to give her Fs in four courses. She was worse each year. She graduated this May by staying after school every day, chasing down work she had not been doing.

 

She leaves for college in two weeks. We will see how that goes, I guess.

 

Far as the driving goes, mine still has no desire there. (Several fatalities in the school made a lot not want to drive). However, had she wanted to, I would have set a minimum grade requirement for doing so.

 

You have my sympathy. Every grey hair on my head has my daughter's name on it. She's really run me through the ringer!

[trying2breathe]

Thank you for the replies and the suggestions. 

 

She's been in her room today, sleeping, refusing to do much of anything.  I've taken away her iPhone and computer.  She says that she'll get to her homework when she feels like it.  sigh  .......      Unless I knew better, I would think that she's on something, but I'm pretty sure that she isn't.  If she is motivated by something, I don't know what it is right now. 

 

The privileges are gone, at this point she'll get necessities and that's it.  I have no idea how to jump start a teen girl. 

 

 

 

[Trying]

I think kids handle the pressures of highschool in different ways.  Some get amped up and super crazy trying to be perfect and have to get into the perfect school or they will just die! Others avoid because they don't have the confidence or can't handle the pressure.  My oldest was an avoider.  My middle son is going into his senior year of high school, has always been disorganized and lazy about homework but suddenly he's even oversleeping for summer football practice (his passion) and didn't do his summer reading.  He hasn't started the common app and is taking no initiative on the college search yet talks to other people about how he can't wait for college and all of the plans he has about where he's applying.

 

Teenagers are the most frustrating creatures!! In addition to setting parameters about electronics maybe try to see if she will open up about what is bothering her.  I haven't had much luck with getting my boys to open up but I keep trying.

[trying2breathe]

DD has been excited for the start of school, last week the excitement disappeared and she's been in a completely different mind set.  We're seeing a counselor, hope that she opens up about what's going on with all of this.

 

It's like I have a completely different daughter, I don't recognize this new behavior at all. 

 

I agree, Trying - teenagers ARE the most frustrating creatures!!