Jump to content

funeral momentoes


klim
 Share

Recommended Posts

What to do with funeral momentoes???

 

There are cards, a memory book , a guest book from the funeral home. These are easy to deal with , I can file them as keepsakes.........

 

But my husband was a teacher and coach . His school gave me a signed bat and ball, senior letter plaque ball cap. I've kept them on top of a wardobe in my bedroom but I'm renovating and they are covered in dust. They mean a little to me but  admittedly not much. I know he was an amazing teacher I don't need these to remind me.

 

I feel bad if I get rid of them but then a practical side of me says that they served their purpose.At the time of the funeral it allowed the staff and students to convey their sorrow in a concrete form.

 

Any thoughts...... experiences

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would say - don't feel badly about disposing of them. These are others' memories of your  husband, not specifically yours. G-d, it sounds cold when I say it that way; I don't mean it to be so, but I understand what you're saying. I've kept all the cards. They're in a box which I've looked at probably 3 times in 7 years. I keep them because people wrote from their hearts and I cherish that. But aside from that, there are other things I've not kept. Hugs - Marsha

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Klim- I have the guest book and kept a few cards tucked inside.  I also have a ton of pictures all in black frames of various sizes that were set about the funeral home, all in a plastic tote now.  Also a frame and candle given to me by the funral home that I do no want but for whatever wid reason have been unable to let go of,  by the end of today I will have taken all of the pictures out of the frames and will file them away and then store the frames for future needs ( I just gave away 2 recently when I made cute pics for my 2 brothers and remembered "Hey  I have a bunch of frames!")  I will also get rid of the "funeral" frame and candle holder whether to donation or into trash.  Reading your post made me realize how heavily these things are weighing on me.....

 

What to do with funeral momentoes???

 

 

I feel bad if I get rid of them but then a practical side of me says that they served their purpose.

 

 

Thank you for bringing this up, it is making me do something I have been putting off but I know I need to do....

 

 

Edited to add: I got off the computer and immediately went and took care of it, all of the frames have been gone through, pics put away and the other stuff that reminds me of funeral is gone.  I so appreciate being able to come here and share this stuff that has been weighing heavily on me and I have been avoiding it for 7 years! Done! and I never deal with it again...KLIM-what did you decide to do?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ifonlyicould I'm still being indecisive

 

I organized everthing, downsized the area that the stuff took up.......think I will have a quick discussion with my boys before I do anything permanent.

 

My guys are 17 and 19 so I think they have a good feel for what they think is important to them with regards to keepsakes.

 

With regards to all the things that were my husbands this tends to be my modus operandi.  Organize , downsize and then decide later what to do with it......

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest TooSoon

My husband was a much beloved teacher and there was, throughout the illness though not as much after his death, a veritable boat load of cards, art works (he was an art teacher), letters, CDs, videos....just tons and tons and tons of stuff.  I moved it all into the basement where it remains because I am too lazy to deal with it (not because I am attached, because I am not).  I plan to keep for my daughter anything that is a) particularly poignant, personal or will one day help her remember what was so special about her Dad and b) came from people who were important to him and/or remain important to us now. 

 

I do think it is necessary to let it go.  Healthy to let some of it go. 

 

Recently, I found every single (crap) paper I wrote in college in a giant three ring binder that has been transported from New Orleans where I went to school to 11 apartments in six states between 1994 and 2003.....WHY?!  I did have a good laugh over some of them but then ceremoniously dumped them into the recycling bin. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My husband has a ton of awards, ribbons, plaques from both military service and he.  He held the school record for the mile for over 25 years.  A friend suggested I ask parents, brothers if they want anything.  Then my daughter spoke up and said she wanted most of it.  So here I sit with a huge run worth of plaques.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Interesting conversation...

I have several things from Mick's funeral. One, a handmade "prayer blanket," has been sitting on a shelf in my closet for some time. It seems very wrong to just throw it away. Even giving it to Goodwill seems inappropriate. I was thinking to give it to someone who recently lost a loved one.

I do like re-purposing things. But it takes more time, thought and effort sometimes...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.