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His birthday


Jess
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LH would have been 36 today. Birthdays were always a really big deal for him because he really loved them. Typically, the last few months of my time would have been spent planning some sort of outrageous surprise. Last year, he died as I planned. This year, there was no plan to interrupt. It's a weird feeling knowing that phase of my life is gone.

 

Last year, being so close to his passing, we had a huge gathering of friends that with (I assume) good intentions said we would use his birthday as a night to get together, have dinner, and reflect in the years to come. Predictably, the great widow friend exodus ensured that there are no such plans in the works. This bothered me quite a bit, but then one friend that has stuck by me the entire time told me she was coming over tonight to spend time with me. No asking, just letting me know that was how it was. It was exactly what I needed.

 

So, on his birthday I am trying to focus on what I have and not so much on what I lost- him, friendships, support, etc. I have a home. I have one good friend that won't let me be forgotten. I have a future I am building each day that I am actually excited about. I think Joe would be proud.

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I think Joe would be proud.

 

I didn't know your Joe, but I have come to know you (at least in part) through this board. Your love for him shines through in your words, and I have seen the progress you have made on this journey into life with him. From all that I have seen and know, I think your Joe would be proud, too.

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Thank you for all of your comments. It really does mean a lot, especially on hard days, to feel cared about. :)

 

It went ok. My friend and I had a good night eating junk food and cake and watching shows she can'take typically watch because she has a 3 year old. I do feel blessed to have her for sure!

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