Alexswife Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 It's 4:00 in the morning and my parents just left for the hospital. She fell almost two weeks ago and hit her head. She was just released from the hospital on Tuesday only to go back last night. They found that her brain in bleeding and there is nothing they can do for her. I am torn. I have never had to be the 'strong' one. When Alex died I fell apart and my family just let me cry, scream, do whatever I needed to. Now I need to be there for my dad but I'm not sure that I know how to. I am torn between going to work today to distract myself or going to tell her bye. I didn't get to tell Alex bye. I don't know what to do. I wish he were here to help me through everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 I am so sorry to hear about your grandma. It's very hard to go through these difficult times without our love by our side to support us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rifatheroffour Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 I am so sorry, yes these challenges alone are awful. The only thought I have is what would you have done if Alex were here? Go with your gut feelings say a prayer for her and you can survive this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheelerswife Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Just hugs, Alexswife. I'm so sorry about your grandmother. Maureen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoVerySad Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 I'm so sorry your Grandma is so sick, AW. I think the best way to be there for your dad is just to be yourself - kind, loving, caring, faithful. That's all he will need and you fully embody them all. Sending you love and tight, tight hugs... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jess Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 I'm so sorry your Grandma is so sick, AW. I think the best way to be there for your dad is just to be yourself - kind, loving, caring, faithful. That's all he will need and you fully embody them all. Sending you love and tight, tight hugs... I couldn't say it any better than this. I am so sorry to hear this is happening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IfIonlycould Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 I wish I could do more, sending (((((HUGS)))) and support as you and your family go through this.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexswife Posted September 11, 2015 Author Share Posted September 11, 2015 Thank you all for your support. It means so much. She woke up today. Said she was starving but they will not let her eat. They want my dad to sign a DNR. It seems like a dream. I decided to work today instead of going to the hospital. They have run test after test on her. They were talking about sending her hOme with hospice and then she woke up so now I don't know what the plan is. Thanks again for your support. Please continue to pray for my family, especially my dad. My grandma was widowed in her early thirties and never remarried. I know she misses her Bennie. If she passes, I am sure she will finally be whole again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtokam Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 I'm so, so, sorry you and your family are going through this. You are all in my thoughts.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twistedmensa Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 I am sorry that you have to go through this. Sending hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
widowat33 Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 Sending thoughts and prayers to you and your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lcoxwell Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 It seems too inadequate to say that I am sorry, but I truly am so sorry that you are having to go through this. I will be praying for you, and for your family. (((Hugs))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donswife Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 just wanted to say I am sorry you and your family are going though this right now wish I had more to say but know we are here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swilson Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 I'm sorry you and family are facing this, prayers for all of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsDan Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 A, I just want you to know you and your family have been in my thoughts. I hope your faith and love for one another will continue to provide the support and comfort you need at this time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexswife Posted September 13, 2015 Author Share Posted September 13, 2015 Thank you all for your continued support. She had a good day on Friday. She was even able to eat some soft foods but yesterday she was unresponsive all day again. They sent her home with hospice care. My faith is helping me handle all of this. I have heard her say on so many occasions "why won't He just go ahead and take me." I know in my heart that she is tired of fighting, she's ready to go home. Thanks again for always being here for me. I will keep y'all posted on her condition. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linda5 Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 Just want you to know that you've got my prayers too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexswife Posted September 15, 2015 Author Share Posted September 15, 2015 Thank you. I finally got up the nerve to go see her yesterday. It was much harder than I thought. She didn't really remember me. When I got ready to leave I kissed her forehead and told her I loved her. She grabbed my hand, looked me in the eye and held on to me for the longest time. It felt like goodbye. If she keeps holding on I will go see her again this week. My heart is aching for my dad. I know his heart is so broken. Thanks again for all of your support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abitlost Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 I am so sorry, AW. It is so hard to say goodbye. I believe she knew it was you and by holding on and looking you in the eye she was letting you know how much she loves you. Many hugs, abl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexswife Posted September 16, 2015 Author Share Posted September 16, 2015 She has stopped eating and drinking today. She was barely doing both of those things before so I know she has to be dehydrated. The hospice social worker came by today to talk about funeral plans. My dad refuses to make any plans while she's still fighting. He is so sad. Please, please pray. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheelerswife Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 Alexswife, I'm sorry you are having to watch this process with your dear grandmother. I imagine that the hospice team has told you that your grandmother is not likely to suffer from being dehydrated. I hope you encourage your dad to give her whatever medication is available to ease any pain and suffering. Some people stay longer than others in this final stage of life. I just hope for peace for her and as much peace as possible for you and your dad. Hugs, Maureen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 It is so hard to let go even when we know our loved one is ready. I wish your Grandma peace as she transitions and for you and your family during this time. Hugs and prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexswife Posted September 17, 2015 Author Share Posted September 17, 2015 I hope y'all don't get sick of me posting updates. I just have to let my thoughts out somehow and this feels like the only safe place. We went to visit my grandma tonight. It was me, my parents, my brother and his family. We took our Church song books with us and sang around her bedside. It was really quite beautiful to watch the peace come over her as we sang about the Lord. She tried her best to sing along. I did ok while we were singing but there were moments when she would just freeze and I would think, "Is this it? Is she dead?" I've never been there when someone died before and I really am terrified that I will be there when she passes. She is not doing good at all. She would holler out for her brother who has been dead for years. She kept hollering for my dad. It's so sad. My heart is so broken but she is tired. If God takes her home, I won't be mad at Him. She is tired and she is ready. I don't want her to go but I don't want her to suffer either. Please keep praying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nonesuch Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 Praying for you and holding your family in my heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 I had the privilege of holding both my Dad and my DH as they passed over. It was a very sacred time and I felt that I helped ease their passage and reassured them both that it was ok to let go and put an end to their pain. I felt very at peace in those moments and only after did my heart break and the pain hit me. You obviously have a very strong faith and so does your grandma, so if you happen to be there then remember it is a final gift you can give to her. I'm keeping you and your family in my prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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