Fuchsia Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 Today my husband of 10 years died of cancer. He leaves me with two adult step kids and a 7 year old daughter. He was sick for three years and the last one was hell. I am so glad that he doesn't hurt anymore. ..but I just miss him so much. He was my best friend. I don't know how to live without him. I love him so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheelerswife Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 Hugs, Fuchsia. As much as we dread the day that they will die, we don't really know the experience of having them gone until that moment comes. There aren't really any adequate words to describe the feelings we have. Somehow, though, we eventually find that we still keep breathing, even though the weight on our chest feels like it will suffocate us. In the first few days and maybe even weeks, we are sometimes like zombies, yet sometimes hyper vigilant - getting things done, meeting deadlines, talking to all of the people who come to a memorial service. I remember feeling like a puppet on strings. My limbs moved in spite of the disconnect from my brain. I'm glad you are here with us. On the day my second husband died, I was actually physically with a group of widows and widowers from this site (and its predecessor). My friends also came back, some driving 2-3 hours, to be with me the day after he died, too. (My husband died unexpectedly at home while I was away visiting widow friends.) If I could be with you in person today, I'd be there, but know that people here have already seen your story and are holding you and your family close in their thoughts. More hugs...as much as I can give. Maureen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadiangirl Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 I echo what Maureen said. Once again, so sorry for your loss. I hope you can find some comfort here. Take care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carey Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 my heart aches for you honey. I am so very sorry. Keep posting, keep talking. We are here for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abitlost Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 I'm so sorry. It's been said you can prepare for your loved one to die, but certainly not for him to be dead. Hugs, abl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quixote Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 So very sorry for your loss. Agree with the others-- knowing it's coming doesn't make the awful pain easier. Keep breathing, and try to be around friends and family who will help you through. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoVerySad Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 I'm so very sorry for the loss of your husband. Sending you tight, tight hugs... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 I am so very sorry. There are no words that can fix it... just please know that you're not alone. We understand, and grieve with you. (((((HUGS)))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fuchsia Posted October 20, 2015 Author Share Posted October 20, 2015 Today I feel oddly peaceful. The marathon is done. I am not stressed and overwhelmed with caregiving anymore. I am just being and it feels ok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 I am so sorry for your loss. I remember that feeling of relief that he was no longer suffering. Now it's time to take care of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amor Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 I so sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself now. Then remember the good times. Amor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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