phil Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 my wife passed away on the 1st oct, and i have been ripped appart, i never knew what pain was like and panic attacks that im feeling,, and impending doom for any future, im taking it day to day,, and im reading on this forum, dnt even know forums like this was out there but im reading how the pain im going through other peaple are to , so im not going out of my mind,, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jess Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 Hi Phil. I am so sorry for your loss. When I first lost my husband, I had no idea this sort of forum existed either. All I knew was that no one in my day to day life had experienced this and I needed some helped. The people in this community gave me that. Day by day, hour by hour is the way to handle it in the beginning. Pay attention to your basic needs like food, water, and sleep. Come here when you need to vent or even when you just want to feel like someone gets it. We are here. I am wishing you peace and comfort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guaruj Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 Hi Phil - I'm really sorry that you lost your wife. It sounds like the pain of this is still fresh to you. I'm glad you found this forum; there are a lot of good people to talk to here. I hope you're eating and sleeping enough while you're going through this. You don't need any unnecessary physical stress right now. |+| M a r k |+| Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 Phil, I am so sorry for the loss of your wife. Jess and Mark give excellent advice, and I would like to add: please don't try to numb the pain with drugs or alcohol. I drank way too much at times in the early months, and it just delays the inevitable. You have to hang on through the waves of grief, but I promise you they will calm. -Justin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amor Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 Phil I am so sorry your Love is now not standing in front of you. She will always be in your heart. The pain can be unbearable at times but you can get through even this. Take care of yourself. If you need support/ venting or just know you are not alone we are here. Amor Lost the Love of my life Aug 4th 2014. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheelerswife Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 Hi, phil, I, too, experienced panic attacks after the death of my husband. I had been widowed several years earlier and didn't have anxiety when I lost my first husband. I quickly came to understand the experience of panic, though, with the loss of my second great love. I hope, amongst other supports, you can find a doctor that can help you navigate the way through the panic and anxiety. Keep coming here and reading and talking to us. Maureen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Callobg Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 Phil, Hang in there brother. Know that you can lean on us here, we get it. Continue to talk your love and know that she is and always will be with you. With love from us Wids. Boris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 I am so, so sorry. Keep talking. We're here to listen. ((((((HUGS))))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoVerySad Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 I'm so sorry for the loss of your wife, Phil. It is a terribly painful experience. I also have suffered from panic attacks and anxiety since my husband's death. It can be so draining. I hope you will find support here from these lovely people who understand how hard it is in ways those who've never been through it cannot. Their concern and support has been invaluable to me. We are here to listen and offer you support. Taking it day by day is essential - sometimes even hour by hour. Sending you hugs of understanding... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donswife Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 I am so sorry about losing your lovely wife but I am glad you were able to find this site I hope it helps to know we are here for you to talk to take care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mizpah Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 It is the worst despair and darkness I've ever experienced. Keep breathing as well as you can. Take it minute by minute, second by second. We are with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phil Posted October 21, 2015 Author Share Posted October 21, 2015 thank you every one for the warm words, im taking comfort from your experiances, as you all have come through the early stages,, like justin says i have been drinking my self to sleep, im trying to stop, im taking it day by day,, we booked a caravan next weekend for my 40th ,, god im going to be in bits Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bear Tomás Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 I am so sorry for your loss, bro. I never knew I could hurt so much without dying but it does get better but not for a very long time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bear Tomás Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 .. and I would like to add: please don't try to numb the pain with drugs or alcohol. I drank way too much at times in the early months, and it just delays the inevitable. . -Justin Me too until my kids had a kind of intervention. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quixote Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 Yeah, my drinking phase went for about two years. It's an easy trap. That said, OP just lost his wife. First order of business is doing whatever it takes to get through the first month. Lean on friends and family, don't be ashamed to collapse in tears periodically. Worry about piecing together your life after you get through that hell, not today Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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