Guest nonesuch Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 Oh, AC, I think I remember! Sounds like he wanted a place to stop by, get a home-cooked meal and some nookie, and head off to the spouse? I remember thinking, Wait, wanted you TO COOK? Not even take you out? I learned that "looking for someone open-minded" generally meant "I'm married." I'm all for being discreet. Heck, Current Beau had a rule that he wouldn't date anyone from his home town, as he was a city councilor at the time. Discreet because your wife wouldn't like it? Uh, think I'll pass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carey Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 "I like a woman who smells NATURAL down there. I mean like before we go out, don't shower. I love the natural musky stink of a woman". Yeah, honest to God that is no exaggeration. Verbatim that's what he said and why I never spoke to him again. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baylee627 Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 ^^^OMG! Ugh, I'd have been like, ya know, I thnk I'll do 200 jumping jacks just to ensure its all rather ripe down there... Lol, only kidding! I'd have been repulsed at that line of conversation. Baylee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missmybecky Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 At least you get responses. I say nice things and keep it clean and get nothing in return, wait maybe that is what I am doing wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gracelet Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Crazy response, this time from me. Sometimes, I'm like a sex crazy man. So this pretty girl and I are nicely messaging. We've had some good chat this week, ranging from philosophical to food, to funny silly stuff etc. Yesterday, she tells me that she's hosting a little gig and there will be a flautist. I don't see the message until very late last night when I was off my face. My response: "I was once a flautist". Excellent tongue and lips. how was your evening? I drank five too many glasses of prosecco." Cringe. She hasn't responded. Bollocks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tweety76 Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I've had my fair share of crazies too. Mainly 26 year-olds offering gentleman company (one included massage), these "adult company without commitment" kind of things and the first ever message I got on the site 3 minutes after putting it online was "5cm thick. exactly what you are looking for". Oh...thanks... Today's special was that I had a nice conversation online with this dude last night and by the time I read my messages he had sent me this (please note that it is freely translated from another language. The lack of punctuation except the smileys however are from the original message) "With all due respect to you and I have been thinking about things and we have very different lifestyles because you are a smart one working on IT and I'm this regular not so smart guy and I go to the bars and I have my sun every other weekend and I like playing console games and I live with my brother. All the best to you and best of luck finding the right one hugs" Oh, ok. Right. Whatever.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carey Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 hooo boy do I have one for ya'll. Met this guy on POF. Had literally JUST met. First he said "come see me tonight". Umm..no. Had just barely been talking. So then when I said I couldn't swing that he said, what, hubby won't let you out? For real? Thought I shut him up when I said "Oh him? He's dead." Drives me crazy when you can obviously see they haven't read your profile. Because he was all, I'm sorry I didn't know. SO I gave him one more chance. He texted me and then it was several hours before I answered him because I fell off my back porch last night. I told him about that and he said "well at least you've got good cushion for it".......wow...bad enough..but then I laughed it off and said yeah my big ass should come in handy for something and he said, no lie......"I wanna sniff it". ewwww. Just EWWW. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TooSoon Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 No way! Just no way did he ever say that?! Nearly spit coffee out all over the keyboard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carey Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 oh he said it alright. You can't make this crap up lol. Needless to say, I didn't even respond, and neither did he. I was sorely tempted to ask him was he 41 or 11. I mean really. And this kind of crap seems to be the rule, not the exception. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TooSoon Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I just cannot even! You are all very brave to be out there in the minefield of online dating. I'm not sure I could do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tweety76 Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Oh Carey!!!!! I nearly spat on my screen reading your story!!!!!!!!!! Yeah! You can't make up these stories...nope...you cannot *shakes head and smiles* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baylee627 Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Talk about repulsed! Was the mere prospect of him sniffing your fanny supposed to make you swoon??? It mystifies me how he'd think you'd find that provocative. Yuck! He can go right back in POF 'S sea! Baylee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carey Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 it went downhill from there. He seemed to think that was perfectly normal, and when I told him to just stop texting me he called me a fat whore. P.S. My daughter refers to POF as .........puddle of freaks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baylee627 Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 it went downhill from there. He seemed to think that was perfectly normal, and when I told him to just stop texting me he called me a fat whore. That does it! Mitts off, Carey, this "man-prize" is mine!! Lol. Something tells me this asswipe is gonna be a Singles' Hall of Famer. Baylee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobFTC Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 You really can't make this stuff up! A memorable one: talked to someone on POF without a photo, and she gave me her cell number to send them that way (a bit in reverse, but whatevs). I texted a "Hi. how are you?". She replied with a couple of photos in the evening, while I was shuttling girls and getting them off to bed. She waited about ten minutes and said, "I take that as a No?". I replied when I could, saying I wondered if she might be a lot more conservative than me and what did she think about that. She replied late with, "I'm not sure what you mean, you must be a Lutheran" (as was she). I missed that text due to this thing called "going to bed", and then as I was getting up the next morning (6:05am!), I got another text: "You're far from my type anyways!!!!!! Your loss :-)". She should be on a poster about patience being a virtue. Take care, Rob T Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nonesuch Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 My first contact on Plenty of Minnows was a man a little younger than I am, and I wouldn't have contacted him at all, but for the fact that he claimed to live in the same town as I do. We emailed back and forth, more along the "stinks to be dating when you're not in your 20s any more" vein. He asked for my number, and I thought, what's the harm? Seconds after receiving my number, the phone rang. I picked up the phone. The first words he spoke were "If you wore a bikini while mowing your lawn, I bet men would be lined up to help." I'm not a feminist or anything like that, but, 1) That's just not the first thing you say to anyone and 2) for flattery to work, there has to be a kernel of truth. As I was 53 at the time, the truth is that my clothes protect other people. I laughed it off. But Perry then asked me to come over to his house that night and help him with his laundry. Uhhh, no. (Really? Is handling a stranger's dirty clothing supposed to be appealing?) I was looking for a way to end this conversation. He then asked, "You know about *City festival held this time of year?* " Well, yes I did. I thought maybe he'd redeem himself by offering to take me to the festival. "Well, you can chop onions and peppers and stuff like that, can't you?" "Can I prep food?" I asked. "Actually I'm not that good with knives. You wouldn't want me to do that." "Aw shoot. I need someone to help me with my food cart for the fair. I can't get anyone to help me." I should point out now that on POF, he had listed his occupation as chef. In actuality, he had a pushcart for hot dogs. It will come as not surprise that Perry lived in his late Mother's house, missed her terribly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lcoxwell Posted April 3, 2015 Author Share Posted April 3, 2015 She should be on a poster about patience being a virtue. I think I met her male counterpart online. At the same time I was matched with New Guy, I was also matched with another man. I spent a couple of weeks messaging back and forth with both men, though I was mostly interested in New Guy. The other man did not have a profile picture, but did offer to send me a picture via email. The day he sent the picture, I was busy teaching. After school, I went home for a short nap, before supervising an all night lock-in at school, followed by a few hours of sleep the next day, before going on date #1 with New Guy, in which I did not get home, until 3:30 in the morning (yes, date #1 was THAT good). Long story short, it was two days later, before I had a chance to open the email, to see the picture, or to respond with comments about it. In the meantime, about two hours after sending the picture, he apparently became impatient with waiting to hear back from me. Before I even had a chance to look at the picture, he sent me an angry tirade of an email, full of bitterness, and attacking me for being judgmental, essentially saying he guessed I had not liked what I saw and that I was "very superficial". I was sorely tempted to write a sarcastic response, and say something along the lines of one of these: 1) Your picture wasn't bad, but your piss poor attitude was a complete turn off. 2) Looking at your picture, I had no idea you were such an ass. Really, the picture doesn't show that AT ALL. Or..... 3) When I saw your picture, I couldn't understand why you were having so many issues finding a nice person to date. Then I read your follow up email, and I saw the light. I just have to ask, "Have you thought about changing your approach just a little bit? Maybe taking the approach of acting a little less like a cockroach and a little more like a decent human being will get you farther." I didn't, but I was tempted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tmwenger Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 So I live in an area where there are about 20 different local little coffee shops to choose from so when a guy asked if I wanted to meet him for coffee I said sure. I thought it would be a good low key date. So he chooses Dunkin donuts. Well I decided to be nice and go, I figured maybe that was where he felt comfortable, and he was meeting me for the first time. Well after the date he texted and asked if I wanted to go out again, I was thinking about it even though I wasn't that into him. I figured I would give him another try......until he suggested we go to dunkin donuts for our second date. Seriously? on what planet is DD a great place for a first date, or second, or any, or all. Really. I was really stretching and being nice but no I cannot go to some chain fast food/coffee joint for two dates in a row. No thanks. I also had one guy who brought his dad with him, without telling me for our first date. Yep awkward, especially since I liked his dad better than him! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nonesuch Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 I also had one guy who brought his dad with him, without telling me for our first date. There are no words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Portside Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 I was really stretching and being nice but no I cannot go to some chain fast food/coffee joint for two dates in a row. No thanks. Maybe he was working up to take you to Wendy's where he'd demonstrate his love by ordering you a super-sized meal. What the hell is wrong with some of these jamokes? Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TooSoon Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 I have been on a grand total of two online dates (well, three if you count the person I met here but that doesn't really count) and on the first (which was also almost the last but good thing it wasn't because the second turned out to be my husband) we met in the bar of a chain restaurant nearby. I ordered a Sam Adams draft and they guy said, "Ohhhh, so I see you're going to make me pay for the expensive stuff!!" Uh......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ieh21 Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 The weirdest I got was from a man who lives across the border from me. He lives in a city about 45 mins drive, but in the US and I'm in Canada. He reached out to me and I politely said "you sound like a great guy, but I think you live a little bit too far from me for it to be practical". He responded "I don't know if you've looked at a map, but it's only a 45 mins drive". I thought really? You can't see how 45 mins PLUS A BORDER CROSSING might be a tad inconvenient?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarbell Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 I can't remember responses....but hands down the craziest date I have EVER (counting college) been on was with the 31 year old stripping principal. OMG...I still laugh about him flexing his muscles and looking at himself strip in the mirror. (I don't know if he thought I was an over sexed middle age woman who would think this is hot or what) It was the height of my no sex for 2 1/2 yrs. I ended up laughing at him and said "Your a nice kid and all but you really need to calm yourself down" He was quite the weirdo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest look2thesky Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 Question. Has anyone actually had a pleasant experience on POF ? I had heard the same horror stories from women about men, that I found true of the women. I think it came to a point I lat?r used it as entertainment, until I caught myself saying WTF am I doing ? This is so ridiculous, but is no longer funny. The last was an attractive middle aged woman in her skimpy scantily clad low cut top exposing every angle of her awkwardly protruding cleavage. So she writes, what's the matter, don't you like my curves ? Um, curves are nice, but are you catching ping pong balls, or wanting "winks" from boys ? God I was so glad to close that account. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtokam Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 Question. Has anyone actually had a pleasant experience on POF ? I actually did. The one guy I actually met and dated was from POF. Can't say that the others were a pleasant experience but for me the worst experience was OK cupid. All the crazies and scammers I experienced were there. But you see you were on there, I was on there.....we aren't that crazy I hope! It might depend on area or city too. So sorry you had another "interesting" one. It's pretty sad what you need to wade through before you might find something good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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