Missing Conversation...

[SoVerySad]

I've realized lately how much I miss having conversation in my life- the kind you have when you live with someone and you watch a TV show together or read something interesting, etc.. For example, today I was reading about Scott Kelly's return from a year in space and how he is now 2 inches taller (only temporary). It was a simple little thing we would have chatted about, which probably would have led to other interesting conversation. It was so nice to have someone to share their thoughts and ideas as it stretched my mind, etc..

 

I live with two terrific teens who spend so much time alone in their rooms doing their own things. They are 16 and 17, so I realize this is normal. Given the length of my posts here, you can probably tell I'm talkative. I'm reduced to talking about things with my cats, which is realize is not normal, LOL. Seriously, my cat Chester didn't seem to find the astronaut information interesting at all. I'm trying to make light of this, but after almost 3 years, the lack of conversation is really getting me down.

 

Anyone else feel the same or have any ideas how to make this void more manageable?

[BrokenHeart2]

Oh SVS I too miss this so much too. We just talked about stuff and now I have nobody to do that with.  Just another loss people just don't get. I soooo miss also his loving hugs and passionate kisses. How does someone go from that to baron nothing and not grieve that loss too?

[klim]

I so understand.

I  have the teenagers in the room thing going on too. So I sit alot in the living room with my computer on my lap. and my cat vying for the same space.  That is actually one reason I try going to the "bump this thread if your in chatt" mode sometimes. Unfortunately it does't seem too busy there lately....

[donswife]

yes miss this so much!

even just the funny comments we would make back and forth

its amazing how much we would just talk about everything and nothing

I will check out the chat room more often 

 

 

 

[SoVerySad]

I'm sorry you all can relate.

 

klim, I tried chat on the ywbb and really enjoyed the people there, unfortunately I am slow at typing and was always about 3 or 4 conversations behind so I gave up.

[Wheelerswife]

John and I spent 2-3 hours a day just talking.  We did this every day, even the days we worked or were at school for 10 or more hours.  We also traveled a fair amount and were together 24/7, sometimes for a few weeks.  We talked even more then. 

 

Along with the knowledge of just how deeply he loved me, I miss our conversations the most.  We were never at a loss for something really interesting and deep to talk about.

 

I get it, SVS!

 

Maureen

[SimiRed]

I get it too!  I also have a teenager, but don't worry...I talk to the animals most of the time too!

 

{{Hugs}}

[kjs1989]

Wow, yes I get this.  When D died, I still had two kids at home and one an hour away. We had so much planned for when we would soon become empty nesters. And it was shattered in a moment.

 

I saw the writing on the wall that within a couple of years I would be very much alone, so much to the chagrin of several people, mostly the in laws, I sought out friendship of the opposite sex very early on. I was fortunate and met someone I care about and we are very compatible. He is my best friend and I love him.

 

And now, yes, I am alone. It is so strange to have a completely empty house. We go from running kids around, going to activities, balancing family life, trying to cook a good meal now and then, to.....nothing. Our only choices are to rebuild and move forward, and try to fill the void and emptiness, and hopefully also find some life satisfaction and maybe even bits of joy here and there.

 

And the human connection is a huge part of this, just simple conversation, sharing thoughts, ideas, laughter. I am one of those who loves my private time, but I also must have a steady dose of human contact, and not just contact, but actual connection.

 

It is stunning to me that outsiders would criticize and judge this basic human need of connection.  I saw on the Today Show that people are weighing in on the appropriateness of Facebook COO, Sheryl Sandberg, dating. Not a surprise, but still utterly maddening!

 

[Guest TooSoon]

SVS, I hear you.  You know me - I never stop talking!  Fortunately (even with its hassles) my job is very social, but the deafening silence of my nights and weekends has driven me to near insanity.  What's most worrisome to me is how I've adapted to it, given in to it, accepted it.  I listen to a lot of music - that's been the one way to drown it out. But I would be lying if I said I didn't dread it, wake on a Friday morning knowing I have three days of nothing but "conversing" with a 9 year old ahead of me (such as this morning). You can always call me.  Hugs! 

[fuchsiasky]

I miss it so much!  We used to talk for hours after the kids were in bed. We'd sit with our phones and show each other silly things, or talk about the movies we just watched, or plan for the future....or or or....  Now it's just me and facebook and boredom.  I don't even want to watch tv cause I have no one to talk about it to and it just makes me sad. 

[klim]

Just so you know If you ever see I'm on Chatt, know that I am  slow typer, speak in entire sentences with very little coding and don't know how to do any of the fancy things in chatt except change the colour of the lettering.

Conversations go very slowly if I'm involved in them. So don't be a fraid to join if you see it bumped, it's not the same but it provides a little interaction.

 

[SoVerySad]

Thanks, klim. Maybe I will try it again.

[mmg19]

I can so relate to this.  Conversations were so important to DH and I.  Can't say I'm a social talker or good at small talk but oh the conversations with DH.  Books, the environment, education, parenting, you name it, we talked about it.  I miss this special connection.  With early teen boys they listen, respond, and hope the conversation ends quickly.  My ideas are not so interesting to them.

[RobFTC]

Yup.  Talk is magic.

 

I do get some good discussions with my kids.  We eat dinner together most nights, and we always talk.  Saturday afternoon, after handing out a list of consequences for stuff that happened while I was away for a week, we got into an update of the prior week's political events as if nothing negative had happened.  I realize this does not cover enough time, but I am so grateful for it.  I also have one teen who did NOT get the memo that she has to hide in her room and ignore me, so I can talk to her more often :-)

 

Chat used to fill a discussion void for a lot of us, I wish more people would have been willing to try it.

 

Take care,

Rob T

[lcoxwell]

Chat used to fill a discussion void for a lot of us, I wish more people would have been willing to try it.

 

I have to be honest, I truly miss the being able to fill that void with chat some nights. Due to the significant increase in migraines and medical complications that I had after my mini stroke a few months back, I went for a while without being able to log on. When I reached a point where I could hop back in, there was no one there. I would love to get back in a few nights a week. I miss conversations, too.