Career change

[Guest TooSoon]

I'm just looking for some back up here.  I've been applying for jobs even though I might have what others see as the world's most secure job.  There is no way I can keep doing what I am doing now for 25 more years.  I've worked through my grief enough to see that with tremendous clarity, especially in the past 6 months.  But now I'm just applying for all of these jobs and I feel like I'm not qualified for any of them and many of them pay less than what I am earning now (but my daughter would get to go to a better school if I was teaching or was an administrator there).  I never thought about doing anything but what I am doing now but it no longer works.  This is so scary but I know I need to do it.  And I'm exhausted from the school year and everything else. 

 

Has anyone taken a big risk and made a career change because they knew it was what was right for their family? 

 

How did I get here?  Why is this still so hard?!  (insert expletive here)

[MrsDan]

I haven’t, but I believe in taking the path that makes sense from a whole life perspective, not just a career trajectory perspective. What you’re doing is something I’ve been considering, I’m just not sure how to go about it. I think one needs to ask oneself, where do I want to go? Then follow that answer. In your case it seems to be, “Away from here, from this current path.”

[Guest TooSoon]

Honestly, I want to vomit at the moment.  I gave up a lot for the career that I have.  I curse brain cancer for ruining my life.  But here I am again, applying for a job I have no clue whether or not I am qualified.  With each application, I feel like I am baring myself, exposing my weaknesses and shortcomings, yet hoping for the catalyst to set us on a course to something better.  Does this mind **ck end? 

[Mizpah]

I think it's awesome and brave.  Why not try?  What's the worst that can happen?  Go you!

[BrokenHeart2]

Good for you TS.  Go for it and you never know what may happen! I sure hope this mind**ck ends soon!!

Hugs

[Jess]

TS, while I haven't made a career change I can vouch for taking a running leap into the deep end of the pool. One thing I have learned is that I am all about calculated risks and my life is better for it. Honestly, this is a big change, not a big risk, despite what you have invested in your current career. You are not talking about quitting your job with no back up plan. You are talking about having a new plan altogether. Maybe it will work out, maybe it won't, but if you go for it you won't waste your time wondering about the path not taken in favor of something secure that you know for sure you don't want to do long term. Go for it, lady. Search out happiness.

[Wheelerswife]

I have been on the career change path for almost 6 years, starting months after Barry died.  I left my last job in physical therapy thinking that I would get a similar job after I moved, but, alas, I realized I couldn't physically keep taking care of people any more.  I dabbled in school for awhile after I remarried, but it wasn't until after John died over 2 years ago that I finally figured out which path to take.  By the time I finally finish my Masters in December, I will have devoted 6 1/2 years to finding my way to what I hope will be a rewarding second career.

 

As for you, I hope you can figure out what will make you happy.  One would hope that all of the work we do in our younger years will lead us to a lifelong career and enjoyment of our work, but we are proof that it doesn't necessarily work out the way we envisioned our more "mature" years.

 

Hang in there!

 

Maureen

[Sugarbell]

Yes yes yes...

 

Being a follow my gut person...this has happened quite a few times since widdahood (before then spent a decade selling pharmaceuticals making far more money than any job I have had since.

 

Taken a risk....yes...still doing it and it's very stressful but necessary. It's a now or never situation.

 

I currently work for the doing Child Protective Services/Investigative side in my hometown. It helped propel me and my son to go to school there. But I hope by August...I am back to teaching in the public schools there. These 11 hour workdays...and being on call is not working with my kids schedules.

 

I get it. You only get one shot at this life...I don't want any regrets.😀

 

Sending you hugs and support. This is a rough journey.

[Sugarbell]

I think it's awesome and brave.  Why not try?  What's the worst that can happen?  Go you!

 

Girl...I think every job I have had I am under qualified for.?-At least on formal experience and degree wise. That's been my life. (why would an elementary school teacher choose to sell pharmaceuticals when 85 percent of my colleagues had a Science background???

 

My jobs in Drug prevention and CPS...most are licensed social workers.

 

I always tell myself if I can survive the journey I have been on with 3 littles kids in tow. I can do anything. And risks??? Life is a risk.

[Sugarbell]

Crap I didn't mean to quite Mitzpah...I meant to quote TS about feeling under qualified for positions she is applying for.

I am so tired I am slap happy.🙄

[Guest TooSoon]

All I know is that my latest cover letter makes me ill.  What the fuck. 

[Lmsmdm]

They say the best time to look for a job is while you have one. Although you are tiny in stature, you got big ones  ;D

[Trying]

Yes, yes and more yes!  I am smack dab in the middle of a career change that doesn't make a whole lot of sense to most people in my former profession but my gut told me it's the right thing to do for many reasons.  I have never, ever, been a follow your gut kinda person but I have made a few major decisions in the past year outside of my comfort zone and I don't regret any of them.

 

I'm not going to lie and say it's not scary but I'm feeling really excited about the new challenges and the freedom it will allow me.  I have taken time off of work for school and will be bringing in less income, at least initially with this change but when I look at 20 years until retirement I am certain that this is all worth it. 

 

The only question I would ask you would be does this follow with your personal goals and plans?  I know you are looking at changes on that front too and I think it's important that your parenting, professional, and personal goals are all in some kind of alignment.  All are important and finding a balance between each is more important than any single part.  Balance is that elusive thing I am working towards hopefully. 

 

Good luck with your decisions, we over thinkers need to take a leap of faith sometimes!

[Guest TooSoon]

Thank you as always, everyone. 

 

I don't think I need to go into just how complicated this all is since you've heard my sob story about my intercontinental relationship (two years last week!?) and our trying to negotiate the perfect scenario as we both really do need to work (for financial and for personal reasons).  But I can't just wait.  Its not that I've got some feminist hang up about "waiting for a man" or relying on a man or whatever (I went through that phase long ago), it is that I just cannot stand it here in this house, this town or at my university any longer.  I want to move to Philadelphia.  I've wanted that for a long time and it has only intensified with time. 

 

I've always thought we are defined by our work.  And in many ways we are.  But in this second half of my life that I wasn't anticipating I am starting to believe in the importance of place.  I want to be close to the things I love, in a city where things are happening and the sights and sounds are changing.  Here, nothing ever changes.  And since I grew up here, never wanted to be here in the first place and now find myself here still but now without any real reason to be here, it seems like it is time.  And I've wasted enough time, though to be honest, I might not have been strong enough even to consider any of this until now.  But things have gotten too "Groundhog's Day-ish" (the movie) and the negative impact of stasis is taking a real toll on me physically and psychologically.  So there you have it. 

 

Well, thank you for letting me rant AGAIN!  This place and all of you rule. 

[RobFTC]

Hey TooSoon,

 

I am in a much less uncomfortable situation, but one key way I relate to you is to be living in a place that I didn't choose, and where I feel kind of like I stick out.  This place was good when Michelle was here, but since then I have had a number of times where I was wondering what the heck I was doing here.  During one dry spell awhile ago, I knew I would move, and that I'd want to be back in Canada or at least much closer.  And that's certainly made it harder to really let myself consider relationships here.  I wish you clarity and purpose, and hope you can find something that works for you in the near term and further out.  You know I am rooting for you!

 

Take care,

Rob T

[mmg19]

I don't have helpful advice but from all your posts I can comment on what I read and see.  You are one of the most competent, intelligent, and thinking women and always consider your daughter in your decisions.  Changes are frustrating and complicated.  Calculated risks are thought out and not gut reactions.  I am confident you will make the best decision and will be successful in a career change you choose.  Wishing you the best in sorting through the obstacles to the best decision. 

[Mancino]

  During one dry spell awhile ago, I knew I would move, and that I'd want to be back in Canada or at least much closer.

Hey, Rob...wanna switch houses?  I would love to move to Colorado and Windsor is just a short drive from my place here in metro Detroit, LOL 

 

[RobFTC]

Hey, Rob...wanna switch houses?  I would love to move to Colorado and Windsor is just a short drive from my place here in metro Detroit, LOL 

 

LOL!  And you've even been here :-)

 

Take care,

Rob T

[Mancino]

Hey, Rob...wanna switch houses?  I would love to move to Colorado and Windsor is just a short drive from my place here in metro Detroit, LOL 

 

LOL!  And you've even been here :-)

 

Take care,

Rob T

I'll even keep the cats 

[klim]

I don't know anything about international romances,  but when I read this I thought, if your gonna contemplate something big like a career/location change and at some point getting together....wouldn't it make sense to think about making one gigantic move instead of 2 huge moves. I know that would only be for the brave but something to think about.

 

PS...I suspect you've already run that through your mind but it's just what struck me when I read this thread.

[Jen]

I want change... I want something entirely different and daring and new... but I have three kids, and no clue where even to begin. I have high hopes for you... Hugs.

[Wheelerswife]

Jen,

 

When my second husband died, I was in a second undergraduate program that I enjoyed, but it gave me no true direction.  I had left an a lucrative career behind after my first husband died.  I had the opportunity to go back to school after marrying my second husband (a university professor...nice tuition benefit) but I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life.  It has now been over 2 years since John died, almost 7 years since my first husband died and 6 years since I "retired" at 48.  I'm finally on track to a new career. 

 

I completely understand not knowing where to start, and I didn't even have kids to worry about.  I have had to just let things evolve as they have.  Some who know me might have heard me bemoan the fact that it wasn't happening fast enough for me.  Although I'm the driver in this life of mine, I feel like I didn't have a road map.  So...I just kept driving around until a direction felt right.  Right now, although I have a direction, I still don't have that elusive destination.

 

Hang in there...

 

Maureen