Wheelerswife Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 I would like to scream right about now. I have been holding myself together pretty well. John's brother is here from Alaska, packing up and taking some of his brother's possessions that He would like to have. For the most part, I am completely okay with this. I have spent several weeks going through my basement, choosing the things I wish to keep, getting rid of a lot of things, and making piles of things his brother is welcome to have. He arrived late Saturday night and is staying in a hotel, but he doesn't seem to understand that keeping to a schedule might be important if it impacts someone else. He dawdled on his way to town while I basically sat around waiting for him to arrive. That set him back on his schedule (or my schedule for him to be finished). So he has spent the last 2 days and today...in my house packing up mementos from childhood and young adulthood as well as a ton of books that I can't see why he would want. Last night he was tired by 7:00 and he went to his hotel room. I got a call from him about 11:00, just after I was settling down to fall asleep. He was out walking near his hotel. He had had a couple of glasses of wine and decided to go for a walk in the 95+ degree heat and get high. So he was a little drunk and high and dehydrated and overheated. So I got out of bed, got dressed and grabbed a couple bottles of water and went looking for him. He was in a rear parking lot of an empty hotel, leaning against a dumpster. I gave him some water and helped him into my car and drove him back to his hotel. Eventually he cooled off and became more coherent and after 30 minutes, he went to his room. I am so ready for him to be gone. He is one of my biggest anxiety triggers. I had been doing really well with him here, but now I just want him gone. Hopefully he will hit the road to Dallas later this afternoon. Then I can settle back down. Maureen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TofinoMan Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 Sorry for the anxiety he is causing you. You're correct he should respect your time and space....sadly some people are insensitive. Blessings to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 Ugh, definitely time for him to go! Hope you can take some time to relax and recover when he's gone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoVerySad Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 I would be irritated as well, Maureen. I'm sorry he's adding unneeded anxiety to your life right now. I hope he is on his way home soon. Tight hugs... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donswife Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 Hope he is on the road now This was hard enough for you with out having to cater to someone else's schedule plus the added anxiety of his call last night and having to take care of him hope you get a chance to relax now that he's gone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissingSquish Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 Ugh Maureen. I'm sorry you have to deal with such a jerk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trying2breathe Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 Wow, what a pain to deal with this guy - not only is he insensitive to your time and space, but also to any sense of decorum. Hopefully he's on his way by now. Hugs ~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheelerswife Posted June 28, 2016 Author Share Posted June 28, 2016 Thank you to those who were willing to tolerate my whining. BIL is gone! Finally, after three days of him here and packing and loading boxes, he is gone. I still can't believe how much stuff he took. He took more stuff than I plan to keep, that is for sure. He took about 75% of John's books...some of them quite obsolete or of subjects that don't even interest him. But now...I don't have to move them myself. I feel for his daughter, who is going to have to store this stuff at her house in Texas until his brother figures out how to get things up to Alaska. Somehow, I managed to hold my composure the whole three days he was here. He kept crossing boundaries, but not nearly to the degree that he did right after John died. I should be able to sleep tonight and I hopefully won't have anxiety-related chest pain. Now...the basement feels so weird. It feels very empty. When I get back from my upcoming east coast trip, I will get to go through what remains, much of which is my own stuff that I can reduce as well. Thanks again! Maureen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TooSoon Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 I was going to say, deep breaths but am a little late to the game so now I can say, big sigh of relief. It is done. Good on you. It (sculptures...) does have to be done. Sending wishes for many restful nights. And a great trip! Sorry we will miss you. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeanGenie Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 Maureen, Phew! So glad to hear he's gone!! Yes, you will surely sleep much better tonight both because he's gone and you won't be called to go rescue him in the middle of the night! Rest up and we'll definitely celebrate on Friday all that you've survived these past few days!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathyr Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 Wow! What a nightmare! Your brother-in-law seems like he's in his own little world, oblivious to social cues and how his actions affect others. That would have driven me crazy, too! I'm amazed you didn't strangle him. I think I remember reading about him causing you much distress in the past. I'm so glad he's finally gone and you have some peace in your home again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twistedmensa Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 I'm glad he's gone and you can get back to some form of normality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shawn823 Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 Late seeing this, but not surprised to see that you handled this with grace and compassion. The silver lining is truly that all that stuff is now out of your hair. Hugs, Maureen, Wishing you a safe and happy trip, Shawn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheelerswife Posted June 29, 2016 Author Share Posted June 29, 2016 Had to change the locks today. It seems that my spare key that was out in the shed is missing. He was out there....uninvited...while I was at work. Good riddance! Maureen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimiRed Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 Hugs Maureen! So glad that this is behind you and you are on your way to the East Coast! Have a safe trip! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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