Traveling

[Frederick]

My husband and I loved to travel. Rarely for very far or very long, but we loved weekend getaways. There was a town with a Bavarian theme and a Bavarian hotel where we went for overnights every two-three months or so. He introduced me to the beauty of Mackinac after I moved here, and I fell in love with the place; we went a few times over the years. About once a year, he'd have a week or two off from work so we'd go on a road-trip cross-country to visit my family, stopping at interesting attractions along the way.

 

Since he's been gone, I haven't gone much of anywhere, mostly due to finances, but partly because I couldn't imagine traveling alone. I've realized if I wasn't going to travel without him, then I wouldn't travel at all, so I've been trying it again. I just got back from Mackinac for the first time without him, and, I felt his absence so much. I felt like I was just going through the motions...trying to recapture my past but just feeling hollow. Being solo among all the couples and families wasn't helping.

 

I did go to some different sights while there that I'd never been to before, and ended up enjoying those more. Earlier this year I went to a park on Lake Huron that I'd never been to before and enjoyed it, too. Sadly, I think it means I have to let go of places I visited with my husband, and focus on new locales. It really depresses me.

 

How has everyone else's experiences been with travel as a widow/er?

[First Widow]

I haven't traveled solo as a widow yet, but this summer I took the kids to Vermont where my late husband and I went on our honeymoon.  It was bittersweet visiting the places I visited with him all those years ago, and I'm glad I took them to see it everything, but I really enjoyed visiting the places we hadn't been to more.  Like you, I think I'll probably plan my travel to new places in the future.

[SemperFidelis]

We didn't do any travelling but we had been planning a big road trip for two months after his death...... I planned that thing soooo extensively and was sooooo excited for it. We had never vacationed together before.

 

I know that I still want to go to one of those places(southern Utah and northern az) for a couple weeks someday. And I know it will be hard without him..... I guess I will try to look at it as a memorial trip.... Odd as that may sound.

[Wheelerswife]

I've done a fair amount of domestic travel since my husband died.  Travel is my drug of choice.  Everything is new; everything changes.  I'm not as stuck in my rut as I am at home.  I have tried to find a balance of being alone and visiting people I know.  I've come to know a bunch of widows and widowers over time and I've had the pleasure of meeting up with some in my travels.  Still...my best travel partner was my husband, and it hurts me to visit places he wanted to see...and places I would have preferred to see with him.

 

Sigh.

 

Maureen

[klim]

There is a thread ongoing in the socializing section called  travelling  alone ..there are alot of good suggestions on how to make it work.

I'd copy it here but I don't know how people do that.

 

I have gone to new locals and to places my husband and I frequented, There is a certain remembrance that makes me reflective when I travel to the places "we" had been ...but most of them were good memories so I'm fine with that. I reflect and then get on with it and enjoy the moment.

[Julester3]

We traveled over the summer for the first time and it was incredibly hard without having Josh there with us. We agreed that we had to get through these firsts as best as we can and reflect later how it affected us. Hopefully it will be easier next time.

[Guest Justme2]

I have travelled solo for the first time in 7 years. It was very isolating, didn't like the feeling. I don't have many people in my social circles, and I think this amplified the strange feeling.

[Mizpah]

Sadly, I think it means I have to let go of places I visited with my husband, and focus on new locales. It really depresses me.

 

How has everyone else's experiences been with travel as a widow/er?

 

I think that it will be much less sad going to new places, and there are so many beautiful places to go.  I did my first (major) traveling at 2 years out, to Paris and Israel.  It was amazing.  I was very nervous, but I credit the trip with bringing me back to life.  It can depend on so many things, including your outlook and expectations about travel/the trip, and feelings about solitude in general - even weather can really change an experience drastically.  So many factors.  Like klim, I suggest you check out the other thread going on traveling alone. 

 

(I went away on my birthday the first year he was gone, not far though, and did almost nothing - just went to a hotel on a river in the mountains.  I wanted to be away from people, and wanted to sit on a balcony under a blanket in the chilly air and stare at beauty, be sad, miss him, think, cry, write.  It was a success, hahahaha.)

[Sugarbell]

First 4 years rarely traveled. I had 3 tiny kids. Took my sons (but not daughter too young) to beach once that's about it.

 

However...past 5 years..lots of travel with my kids and sometimes guy/girl friends. DH and I traveled a lot before and after we were married..through work and on our own. Almost every weekend we headed to the mountains. I have taken the kids to all the nountain places we went.

 

Now that I think about it...I haven't traveled solo except thru work. I wouldn't mind it...just always have at least one if not all 3 kids with me.

[tybec]

My son was 8 when DH died, so never by myself.  I like to do things new.  Familiar is too hard.  Took one trip familiar we had as our little family, and it was fine.  Took Son to Disney by myself, trip my DH planned, but I changed the dates.  New helps me.  Ng lived in Europe 11 yrs.  traveled extensively.  If we work out, he talks he would love to take me many places.  Will see.  Right now, raising  kids.

[Lmsmdm]

I have yet to muster up the courage to go to our favorite place...New Hope PA. It is a wonderful artsy fartsy town on the Delaware River filled with unique shops, galleries, and great bars and restaurants. He proposed to me there. Wonderful carriage ride with laughter and happy tears  ;D... He's been gone for just over 5 years. Our last trip there was probably 8 years ago, and we had decided to give them a few years to recover as they had 3 devastating floods one right after the other just prior....

 

Kudos to you for putting your big girl panties on and doing it.... I hope to do the same soon.