Security blankets?

[sojourner]

So, I'm (mumblemumblemumble) years old, well established into middle age, let's say! And I am realizing that I have a blankie. : Yeah, like a toddler. On our last trip together, to see about a possible clinical trial for LH in Houston, 3 years ago this May, I got a big wrap-around scarf to use at the beach when we visited Galveston one day between appointments.

 

So, I'm noticing that I don't think I can sleep without it. Doesn't take much deep thinking why it's comforting, I guess- we got it in anticipation of a nice day in a short-lived time of some last hope of finding something that would fight his cancer. Right before his health went into a total nose-dive. He died about 2 weeks later.

 

I guess it's nothing too serious to worry about; it's not as if I'm dating, or have to drag it along when running errands! Still, feeling sort of awkward about it.

 

Kinda wondering whether this is just my own personal little quirk/coping mechanism? Or do other folks have their own blankies of one kind or another?

[nextchapter]

I think everyone has a security blanket or blankets. It is just not an actual blanket. It might be kids, family or the community.

[Wheelerswife]

Okay...my weirdness...I slept with the flat sheet that was on our bed when my husband died...for a year.  I rolled it into a ball and held onto it.  After about a year, I got my dog.  My dog has slept either with her head on my chest (the first few months) or alongside me and firmly against me for the last 2 years.  The sheet (and the accompanying pillow cases) are stored in a dresser drawer.  I have passed them over a few times when I have been purging things from my house.  Will I keep them?  Will I throw them away?  I don't know...

 

Maureen

[Mizpah]

I slept in his T-shirt every night until I moved in with my boyfriend.  The T-shirt he left at my apartment after the first night we spent together "to make sure you'd have to see me again."  Every night.  I also wore his cologne to bed, a spritz each night.  And wore a locket with his photo in it every day.  I forced myself to give it all up when I moved in, as a show of respect and love to my boyfriend.  It wasn't as hard as I'd thought it would be.  But I had a very clear, concrete reason to do it, and a "replacement" (sharing a bed with a person, instead of cologne and a T-shirt).  I wouldn't worry over it.  It gives you comfort and harms no one, and it's not like it's a giant neon teddy bear or something

[Bunny]

I slept with a small bottle, containing locks of his beautiful dark curly hair, clutched in my hand for quite a few months. Actually, I carried it around with me wherever I went- it was small enough to fit in the palm of my hand, unnoticed, or in a pocket. I had A LOT of anxiety issues and it was most definitely my 'security blanket'.

 

Then I switched to a teddy bear that was really soft- I'd had it a couple decades (gift from friends) but had never slept with it before widowhood. Almost five years later it still shares my bed. I was a little self-conscious once I got a boyfriend, but he didn't find it strange at all and has been known to use it for some cuddle time himself  ;D

[Guest oneoftwo]

Hi

I think we all have our blankies, whether we admit it or not. And probably irrespective of whether we've been widowed. 

But they are ours, make us feel better, and more secure. and as long as they don't harm anyone else- they are fine.

 

Whatever get's you through the night- it's all right, all right!

 

 

 

 

 

[Rayspumpkin]

I have a huge bright yellow "Funshine" Carebear that my husband bought for me to sleep with before we were married. I cuddled it in high school...and I've cuddled it for 3 of my 4 years widowed. I had a boyfriend live with me for a year...dumped him when I realized "Funshine" made me happier than he did. Lol.

 

We all have our security things...mine IS a neon teddy bear...and it makes me smile every night when I walk into my room. So long as it's not harming anyone, & we don't have to take it with us everywhere like a lifeline...I think we're fine. But what do I know? I'm just the crazy widow. 

[KrypticKat]

I have this over sized teddy bear I've had since University. I originally got it for when I was a Don in a residence hall. Students used to come in and hug it, punch it etc when they needed to get things off their chest. It sat in the corner of my room for years and my husband actually thought it was cute I'd kept it when we started dating.

 

When we moved in together, he used to put the bear in 'compromising' positions on the guest bed to make me laugh. It was our little joke. Taking turns putting the bear in ridiculous poses to make the other smile. I was hoping to give the bear to our first child...but that's not happening now.

 

I've moved the bear into our bedroom and some nights when it's too hard I hug it to sleep. At first it felt juvenile but you know what? It's hard going from nightly cuddles and daily contact to zilch. So yeah...I cuddle a giant bear sometimes. And sometimes I still put it in weird poses.

 

You do what you have to do.

[SieOma]

I have a teddy bear and level zero shame.

 

Post widowhood, I realized if I am getting through life without maintaining a diet of Elmer's paste, I am doing great!