smabify Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 If I hear a take on "you're young, you'll find a new guy soon" I'm honestly going to scream! Guess what - I've been doing this alone for almost three years now, and look! We're doing ok. Don't NEED a man. Would it be nice to have someone else make the coffee once in a while? For sure! Besides, it's just not that easy. I have two small kids with severe medical issues. No man wants to take that on. And, the big one, when the hell am I supposed to meet this new guy? Between doctors appointments? Or maybe he'll randomly knock on my door, we'll dance until midnight and he'll marry me only of the shoe fits? (Ive always wondered at the Cinderella story - what were you doing while you were dancing if you didn't even tell each other your names?) Anyway, thanks for the vent session. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
November Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 I agree with you. When someone tells me that- the "you're young you'll find someone soon"... I tell them where at Walmart or McDonald's because those are the two places I hang out now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mo12 Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 I hear ya! I'm fortunate that my daughter doesn't have serious medical issues but just being a solo working parent of a little one... Seriously if I do meet someone he'll literally have to come knocking on my door (and find his way through the chaos that is my home.) That said, a year before I met DH I had given up on dating... Had a bad break up and didn't so much as look twice at any guy until one day there was this hot guy in goofy swim goggles at the pool who changed my life... I'm just over a year out and have to agree- "chapter 2" happiness doesn't have to include a new man. At this point for me it would just complicate things and I don't have the time or energy. wishing you happiness whatever it's form for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddienhp Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 If I hear a take on "you're young, you'll find a new guy soon" I'm honestly going to scream! Guess what - I've been doing this alone for almost three years now, and look! We're doing ok. Don't NEED a man. Besides, it's just not that easy. I have two small kids with severe medical issues. And, the big one, when the hell am I supposed to meet this new guy? Ditto, ditto, ditto and ditto. I am at 3-1/2 years. 8 year old with autism and 5 year old. Special needs children have more issues to attend to. I don't think I would have time for another person in my life. I hear the same type of thing; "too young to be alone". Maybe people are uncomfortable with it because they fear being alone? I have adjusted to being alone and it will be for most likely the rest of my life. It doesn't bother me, why should it bother them? Vent away. We get it. Eileen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhotoJunkie Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 So your saying you don't want my SIL whose only goal in life is to marry off me and my MIL???? And here I had her all boxed up and ready to ship!! Big hugs!! Lynn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadiangirl Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 Guess what - I've been doing this alone for almost three years now, and look! We're doing ok. Don't NEED a man. Would it be nice to have someone else make the coffee once in a while? For sure! Thanks smabify for raising this. I have been struck by this subtle assumption as well. I too have zero interest in (or time for) dating, recoupling etc. I met my DH fairly late in life and dated quite a bit before it. I miss my DH and it is gutting to not be able to share one's pleasure and trials in one's kids with the one person who would really care, but I am okay being alone. I got to know myself as a single adult person and I will get to know this new person as well. It can be lonely inside a relationship too. I would not want to make any compromises at this point with respect to decisions about my child, and I positively would resent anyone else disciplining my child. It absolutely is overwhelming to do everything alone and be responsible for everything. But if I can't have him, this is what I choose now, and probably for a very long time if not for good. So...we too are doing ok. ((smabify)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest littlebirdie Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 If I hear a take on "you're young, you'll find a new guy soon" I'm honestly going to scream! Guess what - I've been doing this alone for almost three years now, and look! We're doing ok. Don't NEED a man. Would it be nice to have someone else make the coffee once in a while? For sure! Besides, it's just not that easy. I have two small kids with severe medical issues. No man wants to take that on. And, the big one, when the hell am I supposed to meet this new guy? Between doctors appointments? Or maybe he'll randomly knock on my door, we'll dance until midnight and he'll marry me only of the shoe fits? (Ive always wondered at the Cinderella story - what were you doing while you were dancing if you didn't even tell each other your names?) Anyway, thanks for the vent session. Seriously. I spend most of my time working to try and make enough money to keep the rest of my life together. I don't have half the life challenges you do, but it's definitely tiresome for people to assume that your life is somehow empty and incomplete because you're not married off yet. Do men get this same pressure to remarry, or just us? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TooSoon Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 Hugs. It is no secret that I met someone on ywbb but he's far away and I only see him every couple of months. Things have been getting steadily better on the home front but I think one of the things that remains so hard for me is that no one ever asks me how my day was. I come home from work to M, obviously, but there's no sounding board. And there is no one telling me about their day so I can put mine to rest. And there is certainly no one to make the coffee. My husband didn't even drink coffee but he had to get up much earlier than I did and he always made it for me so that it was ready when I got up with our daughter, who is, as you may remember from ywbb, no walk in the park. He also made dinner on the nights I taught in the late afternoons. He did a lot. I have lately been reminding people who tell me I look tired that I can't go to bed unless the laundry is done and the kitchen cleaned up each night because there's no one here to assist. And if I let it go one night, then I have two accumulated days worth to deal with. There are no more nights of coming home to "I saw we needed x so M and I went to the store." or burnt out light bulbs magically replaced or the infernal task of the trash and the recycling being taken out taken care of. It is not easy to go from a partnership to total independence almost over night, let alone to do it for years. I've had to let a lot of things slide. But you know, we are ok, too. It is ours. It is different. And yes, solidarity! You are the ones who have given me the courage to do it alone! But god that coffee in the morning would be nice. xoxoxox Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarbell Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 I agree with you. When someone tells me that- the "you're young you'll find someone soon"... I tell them where at Walmart or McDonald's because those are the two places I hang out now. Back when my kids were tiny...McDonalds indoor playground...Friday evenings always took my 3 to dinner. On Fridays..lots of divorced Dads who had little kids for the weekend took them there.Just sayin Seriously..I hear you..I get it too!! People are dumb...Like a man will make everything all better in there world. ((((Hugs))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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