midnight_man Posted April 14, 2015 Share Posted April 14, 2015 I really hate being the third wheel! Some of my friends have been really great lately, inviting me out with them for a drink or meeting up for lunch etc and while it's great to spend time with them I just can't get used to being there without my wife. I find myself staring at the empty seat next to me. When it's just two of us it feels fine, but put me with a couple and I feel really awkward. It doesn't help that everyone I know is attached too. What I wouldn't do for a few more single friends with nothing better to do than hang out with me! Okay - rant over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrokenHeart2 Posted April 14, 2015 Share Posted April 14, 2015 I can totally relate to exactly what you are saying. I hurts like hell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mac Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 It does take time, but making new friends is a wonderful thing. Nice to spend time with people from our widow community. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrispy89 Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 I hear ya MM! In my job we were provided with housing... It worked out that people in relationships/with family were put in houses one side of town and singles were placed in apartments on the other side of town. Guess where I live?! I just think now if it's not weird for them, I'm not going to make it weird for me. It's good to hear you're getting out and about, that takes great courage. Well done! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lost35 Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Not that I have any social life, but when I do have people over or go to theirs for dinner, it is with couples whose children are friends with my son. I've been day dreaming lately of a leisurely lunch in a pub (with a pool table), like I used to enjoy back when I was single. While I love my friends and am very grateful for the company, some single friends would be like a deep inhale, right about now. I'm six years out, and I do remember the difficultly in doing anything socially with couples. It lasted quite a while, but did eventually start to feel more normal, though it does still cross my mind now and then, depending on the situation... I can't imagine what not feeling like a third wheel would feel like, which must mean some level of acceptance on my part. Hmmm. -L. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 I would love to make some single friends but just don't have the time to pursue new friendships. My girlfriends are good about going out with me without husbands about once a month but it's always on a weeknight so it doesn't interfere with their couple time. I find when I am invited somewhere with couples I gravitate towards the men. Larger parties are the hardest for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest look2thesky Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 I think the awkward feelings are common for many of us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carey Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 I spend the bulk of my time with my best friend and his wife and their children, my children. Yea, being the third wheel sucks. The little touches, endearments, things they do without even realizing tend to hurt sometimes but still I'm thankful for them. But maybe it's time for me to step out from under their "protection" and try to find some single folks. I hate that word...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsT85 Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 I remember that I used to far prefer the company of my single friends in my earliest days. It's not something that I'm proud of, but I felt better knowing that they were going home to a cold, empty bed - just like me. The worst feeling of "third-wheelness" would come when I was hanging out with Tim's brother and his wife. The way they would interact, the way she would comfort him in his own grief - it hurt in the very pit of my heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robunknown Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Been there... am there. During the holidays I noticed that at friends and family holiday parties, every now and then there would be a lull and everyone would be focused and talking with their significant other. I would find myself being the only one looking around the room as they each had their side conversations. The first time I realized that it sucked bad. Something to get use to I suppose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairlanegirl Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 My girlfriends are good about going out with me without husbands about once a month but it's always on a weeknight so it doesn't interfere with their couple time. Confess I don't really get this - sounds incredibly smug and rather tactless, as if they are deigning to sacrifice 1 night in 30 for the poor lonely widow! Most of them probably spend 7 nights a week together, right? As part of a couple, people still go out with their friends individually sometimes even on weekends, surely that's healthy? Friends are the ones with you always, especially old friends. Apologies, but this really leapt out at me for some reason. Not the greatest of mates. I sincerely hope I would never treat a friend like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midnight_man Posted April 20, 2015 Author Share Posted April 20, 2015 Okay - I've decided third wheel is much better than fifth wheel. Fifth wheel is much worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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