lcoxwell Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 Up until recently, I made a point of checking in at least once a day, or every other day, to catch up on everyone's posts and to make more than my fair share of comments, I'm sure. (My Mother always told me I talked too much and that all my size went to my mouth). Even when I didn't have time for comments, I read every word that you all had written. Sadly, the last few weeks, I have not had time to read or to respond, as I would like. I have been having some health issues, some grief issues, and some issues with just plain being overwhelmed with life. For the first time, I am not going to have to time go back and catch up on all I have missed, and I am sorry about that. I just wanted you all to know, I have missed you. I have missed reading your stories and sharing just a small piece of your lives, and I have missed your words of comfort and encouragement, when I have felt broken. Hopefully, things will ease up soon, and I can return to checking in regularly. In the meantime, know that I am thinking of you all and wishing that you are doing well and finding peace and joy in your lives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injo Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 (((lcoxwell))), I'm sorry you are feeling so bad, hope you will feel better soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 (((Lcoxwell))) I hope things settle down for you. We will all be here when they do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carey Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 Ive been missing you. I hope you get to feeling at least physically better soon. You know where to find us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baylee627 Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 You're such a precious person, lcoxwell, and a valued, contributing member of this board. Hoping for a multi-tiered recovery for you: your health, your heart, and your mind. Prayed a prayer of peace to envelope you. Baylee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sphoc Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 It was good to see you in chat last night, lcoxwell! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carey Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 Baylee said what I was trying to say earlier but so much purdier Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursula Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Hey, dear lady, I am glad you made it back ! I hope your health gets better super soon and that spring brings you some new energy and hope and peace at heart... I have the same feeling, I am sometimes away for days or just can't and when I get back on Widda, I realise how much I missed reading everybody's stories, comments. I miss people from the board if they haven't posted in a while, and they don't even know..weird that, but so it is. Many hugs to you. You have been here ever since I joined the boards and you are always so present. I am sorry you are not well. More hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linda5 Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Hoping your health issues improve. Sending you positive vibes, warmth, and light. Also, I'll put you in my prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lcoxwell Posted April 30, 2015 Author Share Posted April 30, 2015 Thank you all so much for the prayers and words of kindness. I am so touched by all of your thoughtfulness. Here is just a little update of what is going on, and why I am struggling so much, at the moment: 1) As is often the case with widowhood, the loss of the additional financial support from our spouses can hit some of us very hard. For me, I am operating on about $18,000 a year less annually, than I was before, with roughly the same bills. Each month, things have gotten a little worse, than the one before. It has now reached a point, where I am not sure how I am going to pay most of my bills and buy gas and groceries this upcoming month. To make matters worse, I am having issues with my truck, several things need to be replaced or repaired around the house, and my son needs to have his wisdom teeth pulled, none of which I have the money for. 2) I am down to the final weeks of school, am buried in end of the year paperwork and IEPs, have the most difficult group of students to teach that I have had in YEARS, and my teaching assistant quit, without warning, effective immediately, leaving me without any support and having to do my job and hers both, unless they can find a competent sub to come in at the last minute. 3) I need to move this Summer, which means going through my house, including Kenneth's belongings. Grief issues have me overwhelmed with the idea of going through his things, but I will have no choice. He had so much "stuff", that my house is packed to the gills, and I have no idea where to even begin or what to even do with most of it. Just the mere thought of all that needs to be done leaves me exhausted and reduced to tears. 4) If I am going to move, I need to find a teaching position in the area I want to move to. Right now, there is nothing available, but even if there were, I have no time to even think about putting together a resume, introduction letter, etc., and gather all the documentation needed to prove I am qualified to teach, especially since there is a good possibility Kenneth threw it all away or placed it in some obscure place in the house, which could take me hours to locate. I also hate having to ask people for letters of recommendation (even though I know they would be willing to write them), when I know the principal and teachers I work with are so busy with end of the year activities. 5) Due to financial issues, I am very worried about how I am going to mange a move. The area I am moving to has more expensive rent, and I may have trouble finding a place that I can financially manage. I am also stressed about my dogs, because not everyone is willing to rent to pet owners. One of my dogs is a Pit Bull, and though she is very sweet, Pits have a bad reputation. I may be forced to get rid of my dogs, which seriously worries me. 6) There are also a number of other issues going on, all of which is affecting my health. My fibromyalgia and headaches are causing me a great deal of pain. There are also other health problems, which I am unable to do anything about, at the moment, due to finances. With all that is going on, I barely make it through the day. By the time I get home, I am so exhausted, that all I want to do is crawl into bed and do nothing. ~ Sorry this is so long. I guess I am just having a really hard time right now, and needed to get it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoVerySad Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 I'm glad to see your post as I have been wondering about you (and worrying a little since I am a worrier). I'm sorry you've been feeling ill and overwhelmed with so many challenges and worries right now. I have experienced several of those stressors myself and they do feel completely overwhelming when you are already grieving. I'm sorry it all is so hard right now. Sending you love and tight hugs... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 I wish I had more to give... something concrete... but you've been in my thoughts (scattered and incoherent as they are). Sending more hugs from here, and hoping you're all right. <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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