the_master Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 I hate that she's gone. I mean, how am I supposed to just "keep going?" I only exist, now. I function, but it's like I'm on "auto-pilot." I get up, go to work, pay the bills, etc. And that's it. I don't want anything else. I want her back. [move]This really sucks...[/move] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mizpah Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 Right now, life doesn't go on. Right now, you just grieve and suffer and miss her. Leave the rest for later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carey Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 auto pilot ... i.e. shock can be your comforter right now. Let it insulate you. That's really all you can do. It'll change with time, some for the worse some for the better. You're not alone, come here and spill or vent or cry all you need to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_master Posted May 1, 2015 Author Share Posted May 1, 2015 I've been crying for 10 weeks, now... I admit, it's not as frequent as before, but it's still there. That and depression. Depression has really got me, at the moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 It still amazes me how many tears the human body can generate. I would have thought I'd be tapped out by now. Cry as many as you need. Hugs to you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_master Posted May 1, 2015 Author Share Posted May 1, 2015 I'm so ready for it to stop... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 Me too. All I can tell you is what I've been told over and over and over... it takes time. Lots of time. And it really does suck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donswife Posted May 3, 2015 Share Posted May 3, 2015 The heartbreak is overwhelming The fact you are getting up and going to work is a huge accomplishment and paying bills , I forgot a few bills along the way in my haze reach out whenever you can and like its been said before ...Just breath and take a minute at a time take care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swilson Posted May 3, 2015 Share Posted May 3, 2015 I'm sorry the_master, the depth of this pain and sorrow is simply mind numbing and operating on auto-pilot maybe all you will be able to do some days. I found this in some of my GriefShare material; "Remember the good times; cherish the memories, but live each day moving forward. Focus your thoughts on what is before you and how you are going to get there. "I often tell people that there are three stages you need to think about: You can't go back. You can't stay here. You must go forward," says Dr. Ray Pritchard. "There may be some good things in the past that you wish you could go back to, but in the end you have to let those go." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jlp Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 It is still very new and raw for you -- and auto pilot is a very good way to put it. I'm at ten months and still cry most days, but not as much. Cry as much as you need to -- it is therapeutic and healing. I know the pain really sucks, I just hope that you can take a little comfort in what you are experiencing is typical and healthy (according to my psychotherapist!). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lcoxwell Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 I hate that you have lost your love, too. I hate it for all of us. Even at nearly 14 months out, I still hate that my Kenneth is gone. There are still many days, when I am operating on "auto pilot". At the same time, there are days, when the sun shines on my life and I can find moments of joy and happiness, again. Eventually, you will, too. In the meantime, just remember to be good to yourself, and to take care of yourself. Eat, sleep, and exercise, when you can. Drink plenty of water. Allow yourself to cry, but also allow yourself to smile, from time to time. Take things one minute, one hour, one day, at a time, if you need to. When all else fails, just breathe. Those slow, deep, concentrated breaths really do help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linda5 Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 I'm so sorry for your loss and the suffering you're going through. I think I've cried enough tears to personally fill up Lake Michigan! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_master Posted May 7, 2015 Author Share Posted May 7, 2015 I'm so sorry for your loss and the suffering you're going through. I think I've cried enough tears to personally fill up Lake Michigan! I've definitely never in my life cried so much... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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