Euf Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 Tomorrow is my birthday. I?m not quite sure what to do with that anymore. It is really distressing to me that my dead husband is now 17 years younger than I am. When we started dating he was 8 years younger. I had a problem with the age difference. He didn?t. He said that the older we got, the less difference it would make. But then he died, and I just keep getting older. I understand that it is stupid to be angry about this. It?s not as if he had this planned. As if it was some scam he had planned. But each year takes me further away from him. If he came back ( OK, quit rolling your eyes) he would no longer be attracted to me. I am an old woman now. It?s just so strange. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeanGenie Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 Euf, First, Happy Birthday!! I hope you do something special for yourself today to celebrate YOU and enjoy your day! I'm quite certain that if your LH came back today, he would certainly still be attracted to you. Just as your love has not waned, his would not either. He would still love you for you regardless of age. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swilson Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 Happy Birthdat Euf! "Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." ~ Jack Benny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 Stop beating yourself up. These thoughts sneak in.it is normal. Do something nice for yourself for your birthday. When I intrusive thoughts thst are dusturbing, I notice them and let yhem pass rather than concentrate on them whenever possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marjoe Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 Happy Birthday, Euf! I understand what you're saying, but - I look at my friends, my family, all are growing older right along with me...and the thing is, it doesn't matter. I love them for who they are. You're still YOU. Why would your DH feel any differently? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mizpah Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 My DH was five years younger and it was very strange to me at first. But he always called me his little girl (helped that he was a foot taller and had greying temples) and he was in so many ways a wise old man inside. I know what you mean though. A lot of widows have that day when they're like, "I'm now the same age he was when he died." For me, when I met him I was already older than he'd ever be. Mindf**k. Thinking of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mawidow Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 Euf, your post really touched me. What I learned from losing my spouse was that the essence of a person is eternal - your love and uniqueness, your essential self, are untouched by time. "Love goes well beyond the physical person" - Viktor Frankl said something along those lines. Sending best birthday wishes to you and many happy returns! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest marian1953 Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 ((((((Euf))))))))). My sweet dear friend. I hope you had a lovely birthday. I wish I could have had a wee party for you- you have been such a beacon of light to me on this dreary road.. Happy Happy Birthday, my friend. much love Marian And that is pure bullshit, Ok? About your age diff? He would love you just the same, just as much. And I know that from our journey together, my friend. xoxo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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