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    • By Lewis in Widda Blog 200,202
      Having a broken heart from the loss of my wife, I found that God used many people to help comfort my five young children and me. Family, friends and my local church came to our rescue many times as we were in a desperate mode of survival. There were even random strangers that offered kind words at times when we desperately needed encouragement.
       
      As I have many memories of love and encouragement that I received in my time of grief, I also remember times when I would get unwanted philosophies or vein attempts at easing the mood. I am convinced that each odd conversation was meant to comfort, but in reality made my emotional state worse.
       
      Some think that you have to say something to help the grieving, while others offer availability to do anything if the grieving just calls them. Neither of these responses is bad, they just do not necessarily help the grieving. A quickly spoken cliché may be like a dagger in the heart; and an option to call will likely pass as an empty offer that will never happen.
       
      Realizing that our culture does not know what to do with those in grief, I hope this forum offers comfort into the grieving mind from others in our same grief.
       
      Lewis

Forums

  1. Getting Started

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  2. Young Widow Forum

    1. General Discussion

      Feel free to talk about anything and everything that does not fit into any other category on the Forum.

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  3. Time Frame

    1. Newly Widowed (1 day to 6 months)

      This board is for the newly widowed.

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    2. Shock Wears Off, Reality Sets In ( 6 to 12 months)

      This board is for those that are past the shock and are living in the hardness of grief and its crazy emotions.

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    3. Beyond the First Year (1+ years)

      This board is for those that have passed the first year of grieving and are met with new challenges post loss.

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    4. Beyond Active Grieving

      This board is for those who are no longer in a constant state of grief. Time has moved on and life is beginning to look up. The "new normal" is showing its new buds of life, while there are still memories of your previous life.

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  4. Specific Situations

    1. Young Widowed Parents

      This section is for those who have children and wish to share their highs and lows in parenting through grief and loss.

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    2. Young Widow/ers with No Children

      This board is for those who have no children to discuss life issues.

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    3. Suicide/Addiction/Mental Illness/Abuse

      This section is for those who had a mentally ill, abusive or unfaithful spouse, or lost them through suicide, alcohol or drug addiction, etc.

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    4. 262
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    5. Other Circumstances

      Unmarried, engaged, anything related to loss that doesn't seem to fit anywhere else.

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  5. Socializing

    1. Social Encounters

      This board is for talking about friendships, navigating the single life again, dating, and other topics related to social encounters

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    2. Relationships/Remarriage

      This board is for widows/widowers that are now in committed relationships

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    3. Widowbago Meetings

      Many members get together for encouragement during meals or weekends together. Use this board to find others for these meetings.

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  6. Encouragement

    1. Books, Quotes, Poems, and Songs

      Post encouragement through books, quotes, poems, songs, or anything that is special to you.

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  • Featured Blogs

    • By Lewis in Widda Blog 200,202
      Having a broken heart from the loss of my wife, I found that God used many people to help comfort my five young children and me. Family, friends and my local church came to our rescue many times as we were in a desperate mode of survival. There were even random strangers that offered kind words at times when we desperately needed encouragement.
       
      As I have many memories of love and encouragement that I received in my time of grief, I also remember times when I would get unwanted philosophies or vein attempts at easing the mood. I am convinced that each odd conversation was meant to comfort, but in reality made my emotional state worse.
       
      Some think that you have to say something to help the grieving, while others offer availability to do anything if the grieving just calls them. Neither of these responses is bad, they just do not necessarily help the grieving. A quickly spoken cliché may be like a dagger in the heart; and an option to call will likely pass as an empty offer that will never happen.
       
      Realizing that our culture does not know what to do with those in grief, I hope this forum offers comfort into the grieving mind from others in our same grief.
       
      Lewis
    • By Lewis in Widda Blog 335
      Thinking back to those early days, I remember getting smacked by triggers while out in public. It was embarrassing to burst into tears in front of people and it happened more often than I care to remember.
       
      Living in a small town with a population of 1500 people, going to the grocery store was always scary. The question was not, “Would I see someone I knew?” But rather, “Who was I going to see this time?”
       
      My first encounter was about a week after Kathy died. I had made my purchase and was exiting the store when a familiar couple caught me at the door. All it took was for one of them to ask me how I was doing and the massive avalanche of tears began the uncontrollable tumble down my face. They did not know what to do and just scrambled along leaving me there with the tears flowing. I felt bad for them, me and the strangers that witnessed my meltdown. That was just the beginning of many awkward moments to come.
       
      Looking back, there were many people who had openly offered me help. It was almost always in the form of “just call if there is anything I can do” that seemed sincere but very noncommittal. The offers seemed generic at the time and I had no idea what help I needed. And as for shopping, I was physically able to go, but emotionally I was dead and buried with my late wife. In this case, I needed emotional help in the form of grocery shopping.
       
      Regardless the offers, I definitely did not have the mental energy to call anyone for help. All I could think was that we needed supplies and wondered how fast could I get in and out of the store before I had another embarrassing meltdown.
       
      I am happy to say that I survived the grocery store. I may have filled a few mop buckets with tears during those early visits, but I survived. Each visit made the next easier and before long the grocery store was not so scary. I hope that as you navigate through those early days, you find ways to ease the pain of public triggers. Do not forget those offers to help you. They can become quite helpful in your healing.
    • By Lewis in Widda Blog 526
      It has been eight and a half years and I still vividly remember my last night with Kathy. It was a Monday night and we had stayed up until 10pm practicing a trumpet/piano duet for church, where we were scheduled to perform the next Sunday. Our music was echoing throughout the house and keeping the kids awake as they lay in bed. We were on our Christmas vacation so there was no need for an early bedtime. We practiced for a bit and then headed to bed happy that we were able to get a good practice completed.
       
      That night I remember Kathy rolling over in bed at exactly 2am and pressing her back up against mine with a feeling of love that I will never forget, as that was the last moment that I had with Kathy alive. At 6:30am I was in a state of sleep where my eyes were closed but I was aware of my surroundings. Kathy had made an exhaling noise that sounded exceptionally weird.
       
      I abruptly opened my eyes and tapped her arm just hard enough to see if she would respond, but not hard enough to wake her up. I just wanted to verify that nothing weird really happened. No response. I tapped a little harder but she still did not react. Then I pushed her to wake her up and it felt like I was pushing dead weight. Panic struck and I jumped out of bed so that I could see exactly what was happening!
       
      Immediately I noticed that her eyes had a glassy look to them and she definitely was not breathing. I grabbed the phone to call 911, then picked her up and placed her on the floor to begin CPR. It only took the ambulance 10 minutes to get to my house and the first responders continued CPR for over 30 minutes until Kathy’s heart began a soft beat on its own. At that point she was transferred to the hospital where she never gained consciousness and did not survive through the next day.
       
      I stumbled through life over the next few weeks feeling like I was a glass window, shattered by hurricane winds, and was being blown in every direction. Being left with five young kids forced me to keep the daily schedule mostly intact, but internally my heart was paralyzed from grief. I was referred to the previous young widow forum and I found a sense of comfort from my new club members. Night times became more tolerable as I read through posts and realized that I was grieving normally.
       
      Through this forum I have met many widow/ers, several of which became my lifeline while I was grieving the hardest. It is my hope and prayer that you find this forum as comforting and helpful as I did.
       
      Sincerely,
      Lewis
  • Recent Status Updates

    • Robertsloma  »  GeorgePruch

      Привет! предлагаем комплексное SEO или продвижение в топ поиска Google
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      1https://drive.google.com/file/d/1g1OGcPjkmfOiV96DdoIa1bsgv13tlXcn/

      https://drive.google.com/file/d/1diMKLfX3Qcyvz08L7T9qKuv3iTWeBVdX/
      · 6 replies
    • Sillyjerkycat

      I havent been here in awhile. I need help. I lost my husband four years ago and I'd like to have someone in my life again. I'm scared of the dating platforms, so I'm asking for your input. Thoughts?
      · 46 replies
    • Keri Covert

      I lost my husband one month ago...I got to this website through my grief therapist...I am early into this cloud of heavy blackness I am in.  I am hopeful to once again find some piece of happiness.
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    • Audrablue

      It is human nature to want to reach out and sometimes give advice if you think someone is hurting. You are venting your hurt and we are responding is the way I look at it. my advice...stop trying so hard to be a new somebody, your purpose in life is to just.. be. .
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    • Johnson  »  100peacocks

      So deeply sorry about your Loss and may God continue to comfort you. I know how painful this could be for you. Be strong
      · 0 replies
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