beth_krkswidow

6 months today. Guess I'm supposed to move into the next group. I can't stop crying. I am so lost. I can't take this. I don't know what to do. I just want him back. It's time for him to come back now. This is not working.

Thanks, Laura You're amazing. I didn't pay any bills for a couple months. Still hard to remember to do that I will try and stay strong with you. Let's get through tomorrow. It's just a day. Hugs

Missouri... but I'm from PA... so if I ever go home for a visit, I see there are a lot of people from PA.

Exactly. Thank you, Misty. What you say about setting goals is good advice. I have not been able to do that. I SET the goals, then I just sit and stare. I am fine when I am out, say, at work. Not fine, I guess, but I can fake it and get through it for the most part. Anytime I am out. But when I get home, I just sit and stare. Despite the mound of paperwork, housework, etc. etc. that is calling to me, and that I have planned to do! Sending warm hugs back to you, Beth

I am so so sorry, Jen. You have come to the right place. Just so sorry the right place is here. One day at a time, one moment at a time, Hugs to you

Warm hugs to you

Echoing every word that @MauiMermaid said.

I'm so sorry, Pam. Staying busy distracts us temporarily. But the tears keep coming. I don't think that's a bad thing. Tears are good. Tears are necessary. Hugs

Thank you, Kaycee. It's so surreal. Hugs

"There are only a few things keeping me from following through on the thoughts of joining him in the ever after...and this group of kind people is one of them. Thank you all for understanding" quote from mbanyard above. So true. so true. Hugs

I am so sorry. JUst so sorry. Sending hugs

I had never heard the word "keening" (or at least was not aware of it) until seeing it on this site. I looked it up and realized I had been doing it, involuntarily. As you, the sounds just erupted from me. Hugs

I'm so sorry. I absolutely wish I'd gone with him. I think that's normal. They say that feeling will pass. We will see. Just wanted to send hugs your way.

Thanks, Maureen. You're a gem

Thank you

I will be at 6 months on the day after Thanksgiving. Sometimes it feels like minutes, and sometimes it feels like a lifetime. But always it feels as if I can't breathe. I cannot believe that at this "advanced" point, I still find it incomprehensible that he is gone. I was outside taking care of our blind horse today, something he always did. And I thought, you're really not coming back, are you? I still can't wrap my head around that. It's so real in some ways... the gut-wrenching physical pain, the depression, the not wanting to go on, the hopelessness, the helplessness... But in other ways, it just can't be real. It just can't.

I just wanted to send hugs to you today. xo

Oh, Born to Rin, you sound exactly like me. No kids, 2 dohs. Only each other. Nothing to live for. I am so sorry.

"I can't fathom that life still goes on, and that the world continues to live on, when my world just completely stopped" Yes. Exactly. I can't do this. I do not know how anyone survives this. Hugs.

I don't know that it "helps" to know others feel the same way, but it's good to know I'm not crazy for not wanting to go on. I'm so sick of people telling me I have so much to live fo. NO I DO NOT. I have no reason to go on. None. Zero. My reason for living is gone.

Yes, some are so predictable, then some so random. I have never bought horse food , never even been in the store. But I know where he bought it. Walked into the store and lost it, just knowing he used to go there. DIdn't even buy the feed . I could understand it if we'd been there together...

Glad to hear it worked out

Sending hugs to you on this most special of days.

"Hugs for you today. There is no race to be run. Be easy on yourself and make tiny goals. I can be proud of myself if I can get dressed for the day and simply leave the house for anything versus staying in my yoga pants and never going out." Hm. Yup. True. Thanks. And thanks for the hugs. Much needed.d

Quixote, Bill, and TornApart, thank you so much for responding. Hugs and thanks. So much