beth_krkswidow
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Everything posted by beth_krkswidow
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Widow/er Songs for the Holiday Season
beth_krkswidow replied to WifeLess's topic in General Discussion
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Nope, can't do any of it. Especially cards... and sign just my name? Can't do it.
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I'm so sorry Angel. So very sorry. I don't have children, so I can't pretend to understand that part. Is there any place you can go to scream and cry where they wouldn't hear you? I know it is necessary. I cry all the time and when I'm in the car I pretty much cry and scream all the time. I physically feel better afterwards. Mentally, not so much. But it is a necessary part... and at almost 7 months, I am still crying all the time. Empty. Yes. That is a perfect description. So sorry. Hugs probably won't help, but I'm sending them to you anyway, Beth
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6 months today? Can't stop crying
beth_krkswidow replied to beth_krkswidow's topic in Newly Widowed (1 day to 6 months)
Thank you, MB. We are dog people and have 2 huge dogs; but a few years ago, a cat showed up and we, dyed in the wool dog people who would never own a cat, now have 2 huge dogs and one cat. Anyway, I was scooping the cat litter today, and thought, we need more cat litter in here. The brand new container is out in the garage. I'll have to ask him to bring it in for me.... Yes, I understand what you are saying. I know with every ounce of my being that he is gone, as you said, but I still can't believe he is never ever ever coming back. That just absolutely does not compute. Someone said it's our brain protecting us from the reality, which is too horrible to bear as of yet. Virtual hugs back at you; and thanks so much -
I joined a few months ago, but never officially "introduced" myself here. Mostly because I feel like I may be an illegal stowaway. I have searched and searched to try and find a place where it specifies the criteria for "young widow" forum. I feel like a "young" widow, but you all may not agree. I meet with a "Young Widow" Grief Group. Their criterion is under 65. I fall well within that range. When I joined I was 58; have had a birthday so am now 59. I hope you will accept me anyway. Christmas will be 7 months. I have gotten no better. People do not believe that. You MUST be better. Oh, really? Must I? Jump into my skin. The Love of My Life, My Raison d'etre, My Honey, is gone. Gone. They don't get it. He's not an old pair of jeans that I threw out. He was my Whole Self. Not my better half. He was my whole self. I wrote a blog on our 28th anniversary, which was 2 days after his death. It was written on a Christian blogging site to which we both belong. If you are interested, it is here: https://www.christianblog.com/blog/blest/sleep-peacefully-my-love/ He was in the hospital but he was supposed to come home the NEXT DAY. I didn't go see him his last day alive, because I had a migraine. The hour and a half drive to the hospital just seemed like too much with a migraine. And he told me not to come. He didn't sound right on the phone. I kept calling his nurse and telling her he didn't sound right. She kept telling me his vitals were fine. And he was coming home the next day. He is FINE. And at 2 am I got The Phone Call. I am so mad at myself for not going. At the nurse for not listening to me. At the hospital for not getting into his room until his heartbeat was so low they couldn't bring him back... At almost 7 months, I still cannot believe he is gone and never coming back. I am so very thankful for this site and for the members here who don't argue with me when I say I'm doing horribly. "oh, no, you're doing much better. You look great!". Aarrgghh. Anyway, a belated introduction and thanks for being here.
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Widow/er Songs for the Holiday Season
beth_krkswidow replied to WifeLess's topic in General Discussion
People just don't understand. I have quoted these to people, and they just say, "Oh, that's so sad". Uh, have you MET me? Sad isn't even the tip of the iceberg! You want me to be JOLLY?! REally?! -
How could this be?
beth_krkswidow replied to born to run's topic in Newly Widowed (1 day to 6 months)
Ecactly. I feel like a plagiarizer. I want to quote everyone here. ..mostly just mad that he's still dead. Yup -
Exactly, every word. And Cooper is a sweetie!
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We'll just skip the holidays and meet back here in January
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Widow/er Songs for the Holiday Season
beth_krkswidow replied to WifeLess's topic in General Discussion
Amen. LOVE Love Love these songs... thanks for posting! -
Exactly. Exactly Certainly not helpful, but you're describing me exactly
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I want the T-Shirt. .. "I survived Widowhood. What's your superpower? "
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How could this be?
beth_krkswidow replied to born to run's topic in Newly Widowed (1 day to 6 months)
.... or just lie there for awhile... Hugs -
And I join in the tears. Beautiful, just beautiful
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Ditto ditto ditto, to every response written. Bless you. WArm hugs.
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Dean, What you wrote perfectly describes it. No purpose left,. Surgery ... At almost 7 months, nothing has changed. Hugs
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He always drove, especially in bad conditions. It took me 2.5 hours to get home last night in ice. This morning it was supposed to be warmer, above freezing, but it wasn't. I could probably have made it to work, but chose not to drive. He would have known if it was ok to drive (I live way out in the country ), and he would have either driven me or told me to stay home. Now I've spent all day second guessing my decision, cuz I don't get paid if I don't work
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People really suck!
beth_krkswidow replied to mbanyard's topic in Shock Wears Off, Reality Sets In ( 6 to 12 months)
And I'm in mid-USA. I don't know how people have survived this. I really don't. -
Headstone Shock
beth_krkswidow replied to beth_krkswidow's topic in Shock Wears Off, Reality Sets In ( 6 to 12 months)
Oh, MR, I am so sorry. All "important" dates hold no importance anymore... I dread them. Can't imagine Christmas without him. Can't imagine today without him, or tomorrow... -
6 months today? Can't stop crying
beth_krkswidow replied to beth_krkswidow's topic in Newly Widowed (1 day to 6 months)
Thank you. I do not think I have "progressed" at all. I am past the 6 month mark, but as far as I'm concerned, it happened yesterday. -
Obsessing about the accident
beth_krkswidow replied to Adventureland's topic in Newly Widowed (1 day to 6 months)
Dear Adventureland. I am so sorry. I am so sorry. I send you hugs. You will do this; you will obsess about it. It won't change anything, but you will do it over and over and over again. Accept that it is normal. We all do it, no matter what the circumstance. It's just something we widows do. I am so sorry. Hugs, Beth -
Some Of The Most Insensitive Things That People Have Said
beth_krkswidow replied to Mac's topic in General Discussion
Umm, yes. Agreed . UN. be.lievable Oh, that was in response to @MrsDan way back on page 1 -
Headstone Shock
beth_krkswidow replied to beth_krkswidow's topic in Shock Wears Off, Reality Sets In ( 6 to 12 months)
@julester. Just got the bill for the headstone, and it was set the day after my birthday; what is it about our birthdays and headstones? I was there the following day but had not been there for 5 days so did not know which day it had been placed.