momtokam

First, I want to offer big hugs. This solo parenting sucks the big one! Feelings of anger and failing I completely understand. Just know, you have not failed him! Second, stop listening to others about their "perfect" kids/families. They only want you to hear what they want you to hear. You really don't know what is really going on behind closed doors. I don't have a lot of advice but one thing that comes to mind is finding something he is good at or enjoys. Not everyone is cut out for college and it has nothing to do with intelligence. If he was a good swimmer, would he consider getting into coaching swimming? You could look at what clinics and training he might need to do this. I have a friend who is a swim coach. He is doing very well. He coaches at a private club during the day and also has private clients evenings and weekends. Can you add the condition of therapy and medication, if needed, to your contract of him remaining at home? I wish I could help with more ideas. I find teens these days to be very stressed. My daughter is 17 and has just finished applying to university. I offer her encouragement, love, and support but she is still stressed. I often feel like it doesn't matter what I offer her, she only sees what she wants to see. It's funny, she tells me that when I tell her to relax more, it stesses her more. I so wish her dad was here to help me navigate all of this and to offer another voice of reason for her to listen to. Big hugs to you.

Sure do! Guess what? I did it again! A man I messaged hid his profile!!! 😁

Yes Rob, I think it may be for the 3somes... Not sure if men are approached for this but I know I have been. I never would have thought it was a big enough deal to have a new feature geared for it. Oh boy, I guess I am too vanilla as well. To all those that read this thread.... I thought I would change the title of this thread a little. I wanted it to better represent how this thread has evolved to include some of the laughs as well as the vents. ☺

Took my daughter to see the new Phantom production last night. My daughter loved it! I think I may have created a live production monster! This show brought back so many memories of seeing this in the past with my husband and dancing to some of the music at our wedding. In many ways, this production was not as magical as the first for me. In many ways it was more magical sharing it with my daughter this time. 😊

Time for an update 😊..... ...So you all thought "Hi" was as lame a message as you could get??? I received a "H r u"....couldn't even type out the words! ...Received "STD free?"..... as an entire first message.... ...Decided to message a few more after a little break...Progress!...no replies but....they didn't hide their profiles! 😀 ...New feature on OKC...you can link up your profile to your partners if you use any other status but single....All I can think is 😨 I need a palm hits forehead emoji..... ...Forgot one...."Such a babe"....he was 37!

Oops! Wrong thread! 😁

Love this! 😊 I wish you would stick around there for end of January!

So happy for you! 😊

I'm so jealous!!!😊

Yes, your DIL was completely out of line on sharing her thoughts and views with you. Yes, you had a right to be upset. However, she has a right to choose her own path. I do have an issue with how this thread has evolved. Your tone above insinuates the rest of us don't have family values, or compassion for each other, or that we don't care for one another like YOUR family does. You cannot begin to know about our families, just like we cannot begin to know about yours. You have your views and we each have ours. They are all different. That doesn't mean our families are not as loving or supporting as yours. What makes a community like this helpful for those that come here? We do not grieve the same. We all have different time lines. We all have different experiences. When we post, we hope we post to help others feel they are not alone. We post to express our feelings and often our frustrations. Maybe a little tidbit will help someone, maybe not. Maybe we will make someone cry or maybe even laugh. But we should not make anyone feel they are not grieving properly. There is no wrong way to grieve.

Lunch is a great low key idea. If you have a nice dessert place/cafe nearby you can do dessert and coffee and chat a bit. Going for ice cream is another option. A walk in a park depending on weather where you are located. Good luck, relax, and enjoy!

Mine (17,11,11) are starting to get the idea of doing something for me. Last Christmas my cousin took them shopping and they all bought me little gifts. For my 50th earlier this year, my older daughter bought me a gift and again for mothers day, with her own money. This Christmas my two daughters bought me something (we separated at the mall, 2 daughter's, me and my son). My son made me a Christmas ornament. Now the girls used my credit card mind you (daughter forgot her wallet)...😀 It is a step in the right direction though. Rob, at your daughters' ages, my oldest didn't really think about getting me gifts. I did always get nice homemade cards though. She would tell me she had no way to go shopping on her own. Now she is realizing it is a nice thing to do. She still needs to get to stores though and she has been venturing out on her own these days. My youngest daughter and son will always bring me breakfast in bed for birthday and mother's day. It's not a cooked breakfast but still breakfast. My oldest won't wake up early to do that! 😊 DH used to do that for me and they remember it.

Sorry imissdow...but you now know he is an idiot and not someone you would want to meet anyways. I will give my cell# only, not a home#, after a few messages on the site. I have recently done a call to one and blocked my number initially. It was actually his suggestion to me to make me feel more comfortable. He wanted to talk sooner than I would have liked. Once you move to texting you can't hide your number I don't think. We are still chatting and plan to meet this week. We shall see. He seems a little too smitten for not having met yet. Rob, I think that one lady was looking for you to finance her nice meals! Good luck on date 3 with the other lady! Dating does suck!

Maybe he is unsure about going "there" as your kids are friends? Maybe he thinks you are not being serious and just being flirty? "If" it's something you think you want to persue, in whatever form, I would be more direct. Maybe try to suggest an actual time to meet if you know he might be free, instead of something open ended. Maybe he needs to be hit over the head as well! Just always be upfront with any intentions so there is no misunderstanding. Take all this as you think it works for YOU. I am in no way an expert. My track record has not been ideal! 😁 But yes, sometimes we just need to get ravaged! 😆

Vent away and I'm so glad this thread helped you!

TheOtherHalf, thank you for offering support and encouragement. You didn't miss the mark at all. Most of these stories are from on line encounters before I've met them and mostly have no intention of meeting those particular prospects. They have not hurt me in any way, just given me some insight on what is out there and some entertainment value. When I first started on line dating, I had no clue what I was doing. I had not dated in 26 years. I started this thread to both share my experiences as possible help and support for others like me and to offer some much needed laughter at times that we all need. When I see others post on this thread with similar stories, it helps me to not think I am nuts, and that I am not alone in my experiences. I hope I can make others feel the same. I wish I was given some of this insight early on. Hurt and disappointment are part of this on line dating stuff but I get it and I am strangely accepting of it in a weird way. Thank you for the good wishes. I know one day good things will come. In the meantime I will keep enlightening and entertaining you folks with the not so good! Sorry for rambling so late....I just can't seem to fall asleep tonight.

Jen, I know you said you only met once. What was that like? Your risqu? conversations, are they by text or phone? The reason I ask is because I have gone out a few times with this "minimal texter". In person he chats up a storm, but his texts are very simple and short. I try like heck to flirt by text, but nothing. I don't think he gets it. Sometimes I think I will have to hit him over the head to get his attention in that way.

Not sure I am that determined. I try and that is all I can do. I know it only takes one. Who knows how we will find each other eventually. In the meantime....more interesting stories to share. I had someone contact me. Their picture had a copyright from a blog of a 27 year old motorcycler in the US. This man's profile shows 51, and in my city In Canada. He says he is clean shaven now with shorter hair and wants to send me new pics (that's because that is not him in the picture of course). I play along and ask about the picture to see how far he will go. After a couple messages I call him on it and of course no more contact. I contacted the blogger but have not heard back yet. He wasn't even smart enough to crop out the copyright before posting! Even dumber is he still has the picture on his profile.

So happy for you!!!! 💛

I like the second option better Rob. To me, it would seem more work for her. Dinner every night until you get it right instead of toilets once a week. More incentive to get dinner right the first time. If she refuses, I have no answer...

You are not a whimp and you have every right to vent! I'm so sorry your little guy is going through this. I hope he heals quickly! Solo parenting sucks and you can only do what can do. We are all human. Just think...One day you will have funny stores to tell about your Christmas with a broken leg!

Well! What do you know? I did it again! One more unread message and profile hidden! I really am perfecting this skill!

Just enjoy it for now, and try not to over think it. If you are enjoying your time with him, then just keep doing that!

I'm in!

I am getting very good at the following skill.... Getting men to hide their profiles...all I have to do is message them! 😁 I didn't think I was THAT scary! 😨 Oh, and here is a sad new question I get asked.... "Are you single?" Why would I be be on a dating site if I wasn't? I know, I know, most on these sites are not single. 😯