momtokam

Hugs (((CJF)))....I really do understand how you feel. Sunday would have been my 23rd....we made it to 20 years plus 8 days. We were also married on a Sunday, this made it worse for me somehow. No one said anything either, probably no one remembered. The kids and I were out of town for my daughter's soccer tournament. They won! A great distraction for sure! Yes, I guess we are moving on and are OK at almost 3 years out. It's just really hard to truly get that this is our new reality.

Today would have been my 23 wedding anniversary.... We have been out of town since Friday at my daughter's soccer tournament and today I got to watch my daughter win this tournament and I was jumping for joy for her and her team!

Yikes MrsDan! A real winner you found there! Don't be selfish and keep him for yourself!! I had a guy message me....his profile mentioned "my woman" 3 times and he wanted to take me to a mall and walk around so he could see my angel face and he would bring me a rose! I really get a kick out of the too perfect profiles though ...cute guy, widow, model photograph, profile reads like a girl's dream...I know it can't be real but I message them for fun....he always appears recently on line but the messages are never read. Are these bait profiles the sites set up?

Very good read for newbies to on line dating. Especially those who haven't dated in many years. I had many attempts at scams early on. I caught on quick but can easily see how it can happen. It's not about being stupid, it's about being a good and trusting person, and these scammers know how to manipulate that very well. It truly is very sad.

I hope he is some hot stud too! Would make the rumour so much more interesting!!

So happy for both of you!

Stay out of your head and just enjoy! You deserve it!

I too find his request troubling. You did just make a major move to be closer to him. Does this not show him your commitment to him and your relationship and to moving forward? Kenneth will always be a part of your life, board or no board. You will always be Kenneth's widow, board or no board. You will always share a part of your heart with Kenneth, board or no board. Will these things keep you from building your life with new guy? Of course not! For me, this board is not always about looking back and helping with grieving, it's also about moviing forward and letting go in many ways. Honestly, I'm just so sorry you have been put in this position.

Thanks Sugarbell.....I know they are out there....I just wish we could find each other! MrsDan, I know what you are saying about opening a door to just slam it shut. For me, if they make a nice effort, I do respond. But I certainly see your point. And the like or wink stuff....yup, reply to those and then nothing back. They must send out to everyone, who knows!

I am a relationship person as well, aways was. It just doesn't seem to be in the cards for me right now. I'm 50, with 3 kids from 11-17. I'm so off the radar for almost all men in my age bracket. They either want much younger women or they want a free as a bird woman to take off at a moments notice. I'm easy going, funny, decent looking and don't look my age, but that does not seem to matter. I'm not looking to snag a new husband or father for my kids anytime soon. It would be nice just to get out, meet some new people, and maybe it could lead to a nice relationship. I didn't think it would be so hard. I did casual only once in my life for one year between relationships in my early twenties. I didn't enjoy it then and don't know if I would enjoy it now. Sometimes I think it would be simpler to just look for casual now. Maybe that's why I actually decided to meet up with this out of town guy. To see if I could actually do it or not. I knew he was not interested in a relationship up front. Even that didn't seem to work out for me! Honestly, not sure about any of this anymore.

Sunshinedaydreamz, definitely.... Oh, I forgot a tip I got from that out of town guy. We were taking about on line dating scams. He is also targeted by scammers apparently. He asks them to send a picture of themselves holding something specific, pen, book, etc. If they are real and not a scam, you will know. A good tip I wish I knew in my first attempts at on line dating.

Thanks sunshineanddaydreamz. It really shouldn't be this hard.

Rob, I think you might be on to something. They were all from far away and insistent on a long distance relationship within seconds. Very scammer like for sure. Nonesuch, if this really is true, I really don't know what to think. It's already hard enough, without fake messages coming through just to keep you hooked. Sunshinedaydreamz, I recently started to use a new separate email just for these sites. Just thought it would safer somehow, just in case.

I am so glad you checked in and all is good now after a very stressful time. Take a deep breath.....and now you are truly moving forward. So happy for you!

Helen, I hope you are having better luck on Match the last few days. I so agree with you though....the pickings are very few it seems.

The latest and not so greatest update from my crazy trying to date world....if I didn't live it I might not really believe it at times! ....I usually use my phone to access the dating sites. Last night I used my lap top for the first time with Match which opens up the chatting feature. Within 30 seconds there where 4 men from all over the U.S. (I am in Canada) ready to start a long distance relationship and relocate to be with me! Really? One didn't even read my profile because he was asking questions clearly answered in my profile! I kept chatting with them because I was truly in awe of their suggestions and really couldn't believe it! They were quite insistent! Oh my goodness!! ....I receive nice messages, I reply with nice messages, then they hide their profile. ....I may be starting to understand all the brief "Hi" messages. After sending out nicely thought out messages referencing their profiles...I hear crickets back....I make the effort and nothing.....hmmmm. ....Hi is so much less work. ....More cute young ones messaging me. I'm reading Bridget Jones, Mad About the Boy right now....hmmmm, maybe I need to rethink this. ...lol ....Met someone for a drink last week. He was from out of town, on business here for a week (5 hour flight away). Clearly there was no relationship potential but he was a funny, and pretty good guy so I went. It was fun and lots of great conversation. He was easy on eyes as well...we walked around the harbour front for a while and talked and laughed but I didn't get an "I'm interested" vibe. He didn't even try to touch me and no outright flirting. I thought, hey I made a cool new friend at least! He walked me to my car and we said good night. Then we kissed.....OK, he was interested... talk about going right over my head! He walked away and I drove home. We had a good laugh over it later on the phone. Said he would call next time he is in town, he comes often. Yeah, we'll see.....he is looking for some fun only..... As a good friend told me.....who knows what a new day will bring...

MrsDan, I know this is a big unfamiliar step for you. You don't know if or where anything will lead. It is a time to get a feel of these new experiences. You need to be as comfortable and relaxed as much as you can. Just be yourself and say what you feel comfortable with. For me personally, I don't write about it in my profile but if a widowed option is available in the status I do choose it. I tend to bring it up in conversation before we meet. Mostly because I want to get of bit of their history as well. If they were married, how long etc. I feel that if it's a deal breaker for them, better to know before a meet. All I know for sure is I'm still trying to figure out all this dating stuff post widow hood! Just know, you are not alone and we are here, and we get it!

Wow, completely wrong on the part of the teacher! As a teacher, I can't even comprehend this! I'm so sorry yourson had to deal with this. Is a class change an option?

Catherine, I am thinking about speed dating as well. I am trying to convince a friend to go with me in September. Let us know how it goes!

I'm so, so sorry Jen....

Love it Linda!

Hosting my cousin's kids for a sleepover...6 kids in total with mine.... Super sexy Saturday night!

Big hugs for you and your kids.... I so understand your feelings.

Thanks Captains wife. It really helps to hear others experiences. If they are a maybe, I do try and get to know them more. It's the ones that make me say no that I might have to rethink. Still learning as I go.

The latest diary of an on line dating(attempting) widow for your reading pleasure..... So I have had a married man looking for a fwb contacting me constantly. I finally replied with a no hoping to get him to stop....he wants to keep talking as friends....seriously?!?! That guy who thanked me for saving him when I said I wasn't interested a couple weeks ago, contacted me again.....short memory he has! I've had a few nice messages but zero attraction is there for me. I really feel like I'd be wasting both of our time in persuing. Maybe I need to rethink this one...perhaps in person something could be there. I really am not looking for model material, just something in their eyes or smile that says something could be there. I've sent out a few messages. ..crickets so far. More 20 year olds...... And a toe fetish guy...... Stay tuned.....there will be more I am sure, if I decide to stick this out a bit.